You want to be a better blogger, but how? Blogging advice can be confusing and wrought with contradictory material.

The key to your blogging success lies in discriminating between what’s helpful and what isn’t. Fortunately for you, you don’t need to weed out the bad information from the sound advice, because I’ve already done the dirty work for you.

• Proofread meticulously – simple spelling or grammar errors can give off the perception that you’re a moron.
• Don’t poofread – Most people won’t realize your errors anyway, and even if they do notice, they won’t care. The additional time invested isn’t worth the payoff.

• Have open comments – Readers can provide useful information and valuable feedback, and they enjoy the participation. Occasionally, you may even find that comments inspire new material.
• Don’t have open comments – People are stupid and you work hard on the content of your blog. Don’t let other morons ruin your efforts with their vapid idiocy.

• Respond to comments – Commenters want your validation. Responding to comments makes your readers feel like you value their comments. Feed into that and they will keep coming back for more.
• Don’t respond to comments – Most people are simply too busy to check for follow up comments, if they can even remember where they left them in the first place. They won’t even be aware of your response, so that time is better spent on creating new front page content for readers.

• Have a life – Finish projects at home, engage in fun activities with friends and family, participate in your hobbies. Your life experience will provide you with a wealth of knowledge and potential blog content. At least leave your Mom’s basement for once in your pathetic life.
• Don’t have a life – You’re too busy mowing the lawn, going to work, and spending “quality time” with the family to post anything. A blogger who never updates isn’t a very good blogger.

• Talk about yourself – Short anecdotes about your about your experiences are the thing that makes your blog unique and gives it that “X factor” that separates you from the herd.
• Don’t talk about yourself – Your life is boring and tedious, especially to the casual observer. Your content was mildly amusing, but you had to ruin it with all your insipid droning on about yourself.

• Don’t use profanity – You don’t want to alienate a potential loyal reader because of your use of gratuitous obscenity.
• Use profanity – Fuck it! You don’t want an overly-sensitive, easily offended weenie reading your site anyway. chances are, someone who can’t take the occasional F-Bomb is bound to be offended by something sooner of later, no matter how inoffensive and benign you attempt to be.

Now that you have the proper guidance, you will see your blog take off, and your blogging abilities grow by leaps and bounds. Blogging success is just around the corner.

Related: 10 Proven Ways to Drive Traffic to Your Blog
The Lazy Man’s Guide to Making a Million
Monetize Your Blog for Maximum Monetary Monetization of Your Money

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Category: Humor