Political Humor

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Posts from — November 2005

You Don’t Save Money by Spending it

A Political Humor Classic

On Friday, my lovely, wonderful sweetheart advised me that a particular department store was offering $10 back for every $50 dollars that we spend in the store.

“It’s a scam. They don’t take $10 off the total bill. They give you a voucher for $10 that you have to use in their store to buy more stuff from them.” I told her.

Then I heard the most frightening, horrific sentence I have ever heard in my life:

“I’m going to spend the money anyway.”

WHAT?!!! Only a woman would say such a thing. I have never, in my 32 years on this earth (almost 33) said such a thing.” Please, ladies, tell me that this is not a universal sentiment.

“I mean, we have to buy the Christmas gifts. If we buy them there then we get ten dollars back.”

“But we don’t get any money back. They give you a coupon for ten dollars, and then you have to go back and buy more stuff.”

“But I’m going to spend the money anyway.”

Please stop the pain!

So after we were finished, we checked out and the total came to $189. I said, with obvious sarcasm, “If you spent 11 dollars more, you could have gotten another $10 back.”

“You’re right .I should go back.”

*sigh* “Fine. I was making fun of you, ya know. Just go back. I don’t want to hear about the stupid $10 you could have had.”

As it turns out, she was charged for two items that were only supposed to have been price-checked. So they were removed from the bill, and she just left it at the $153 that was spent, and the three $10 coupons we received.

She pointed out that it was a good thing she went back, because we were overcharged. Then came the sweetest words of the whole weekend.

“You know the stupid vouchers are only good for four days. FOUR DAYS! You were right*. It’s a scam.”

I kept it to myself this time, but smiled in smug satisfaction

* I love it when I hear those words come from her mouth.

November 28, 2005   No Comments

Post-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Post

Well, Thanksgiving is over, and we’re all back to work. Time to wake up from your tryptophan induced stupors. The 4 day weekend is over. I took a break from posting over the weekend, as I seem to do on a regular basis, weekly in fact. Honestly, what do I do? One or two posts a week?

Many people, who aren’t me, did some sort of tribute to Thanksgiving. Some posted a list of things they have to be thankful for, like “I am thankful for my beautiful child, with her 8 fingers, 11 toes, and perfect beautiful bushy tail.”

Or that they are thankful for those who have served (past and present, combat and non-combat), bravely in defense of our nation, like, “I am grateful for the courageous men and women who have volunteered to fight the evil Luxembourgian chin-surgeons in the controversial War for Limburger.”

Others took a religious tact, like, “Dear Lord, Thank you so much for being the Lord of all Lords. You are the Lordiest Lord of all Lords, Lord. I am forever humbled by your Lordiness, Lord. I indeed there is no Lordier Lord than thou.”

Still others provided historical background on the holiday. For example, “Thanksgiving was first celebrated in 1953, when President Lincoln declared war on Luxembourg, and everyone gave thanks for the fact that we had a Republican President in a time of war.”

I however, just took the time off to spend time with the family. I sincerely hope you thoroughly enjoyed your holiday.

November 28, 2005   No Comments

2 The X-treme

cnn x
Well, now I get it. They were just advertising the arrival of the X-Games to CNN this winter. Why waste valuable broadcast time that could be used to pimp out more of your networks broadcasts?

H/T Point Five, Wizbang

Also See TNOYF

UPDATE: Stop the ACLU reports, “the “X” was intentional, as an act of free speech by CNN.”

Media Bias, MSM, CNN

November 22, 2005   No Comments