By Flowers Bloom

Start of speech: Buzz word “Democracy.” No mention of the new democracy of Hamas.

9:24 Oh yes, let’s not forget the troops. No mention of Abu Grahib though.

9:29 Hamas, work for lasting peace. Heh. Yup they’re reflecting their own citizens with their “democracy.”

WMDs in Iran! WMDs in Iran. Hmm… I’m not falling for that again.

New buzz word: Compassion. Just like Abu Grahib, right.

9:35 Reauthorize Patriot act. Just say what you mean. Big Brother is here. Oh here we go, Justifying domestic spying as the “Terrorist surveillance Act.” Like there’s any danger of being hit again. We all know 9/11 was an inside job.

More buzz words: bipartisan, support those who defend us, freedom, blah blah blah. Still no mention of Abu Ghraib.

9:38 Changes the subject to the economy. He must know he was tanking on the War stuff. Deflect and spin. That’s how it works. Heh, “economic retreat,” “stagnant economy.” Is he talking about Bushonomics?

“Make the tax cuts permanent.” Oh your cronies at Halliburton would like that.

AHA! Gotcha! Cutting programs. He just said he’s going to cut programs.

Line item veto. Sure, then you could strike down the parts that are inconvenient to imposing your theocratic fascism.

9:44 Save social security? Right. Just like the slash and burn of programs you already said you would do.

More Buzzwords: Bipartisan again.

9:46 Changing the subject again. Now it’s guest workers. He failed in Iraq, and tanked the economy, so one more time it’s deflect and spin. Change the subject.

Portable health care. Yeah, not having health care is pretty portable, huh? Medical liability reform.

“America is addicted to oil.” Advanced Energy Initiative. There you go. Nucular energy. That was what you really meant. New technologies like Ethanol etc. What would Halliburton think of moving away from oil? What about his cronies in the Saud family? I’m sure they don’t want to let that happen.

9:51 He just can’t stay on topic. once more, deflect and spin. Education and technology now. Nanotechnology. How many times did he have to practice that word? POW! No child left behind. I knew it was coming. One more miserable failure for the chimp in charge.

Buzzword: Compassionate again. Linking crime and abortion, just like Bill Bennet. Why don’t you just say “black people are bad and make crime, so let’s just abort them?” That’s what you mean.

9:55 Changing the subject to “activist judges.” Everytime he starts to lose momentum he changes the subject. He’s so stupid. He can’t stay on topic.

9:58 Another change of subject. No cloning, no stem cell research, no making manimals, of other genetic hybrids. What happened to advancing science.

Buzzword: Compassion again. And another change of subject. He’s flopping around like a fish. Just cant stay on topic.

10:00 Hurricane Katrina. How long will this last. He’s all “rebuilding homes,” “opportunity” blah blah.

10:01 Didn’t even stick with that for a full minute and on to AIDS/HIV. I guess you can’t spin failure enough to stay on topic very long.

Name Dropping of some actual great people.

Theocracy! “May God bless America.”

10:05 Speech over. He didn’t stay on topic very long. Subpar. No mention of Abu Ghraib. Dodged the issue.

No specifics either.

Linked on Mudville Gazette, STNDM Blog

State of the Union, President, Satire

The President is slated to give his State of the Union Address later
today, but thanks to a patriotic whistle blower inside the White
House, I have obtained an advance draft of the speech. Here are a few
excerpts:

“I have been listening in on as many phone conversations as my busy
schedule allows, and I understand that many Americans are concerned
about their privacy. There is no need for your concern, with so many
phone calls to monitor and so little time and resources. That’s why I
am asking congress for an additional 237 Billion in funds allocated to
domestic spying programs.”

“Hamas has been elected as the governing body of Palestine. This is a
hostile terrorist regime, and I call upon them to renounce terrorism,
and the stated goal of the destruction of Israel. If they do not
comply, I advocate using the nuclear option.”

“Many Americans are concerned about border security. I am going to
push for legislation to institute a ‘Borders without borders’ program.
This will allow those who wish to come to this country and find work
to do so with transparency, and find work legally.”

There’s much more, but those are the key highlights. Keep in mind it’s
a draft copy, and thus subject to change.

Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty

About this.

A couple of rightwing blogs have shown nothing but contempt and ridicule for our efforts here… We must be doing something right!.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
*Snort!*
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
*Choke, cough, choke*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Hat tip Dr. Phat Tony’s

Heh. When Dean04Prez jumps on your bandwagon… You’re doomed.

UPDATE: Dean0 takes credit for getting the ball rolling.