I just got three cubic yards of dirt today. I was happy about this because I needed three cubic yards of dirt, and as such, ordered three cubic yards of dirt, which was delivered today. I have a tarp on my three cubic yards of dirt, that covers most of the pile. It doesn’t cover all of the pile.

I got the wheelbarrow out, because my three cubic yards of dirt is about 100 yards away from where it needs to be, in the back yard. I filled the wheelbarrow with a wheelbarrow full of dirt from the pile of my three cubic yards of dirt, and discovered that it was too heavy to move my wheelbarrow full of dirt. I shoveled half of the wheelbarrow full of dirt back into the pile of my three cubic yards of dirt, and discovered that I still could not move the wheelbarrow, due to the fact that there was not enough air pressure in the tire.

I dumped the remainder of my half full wheelbarrow of dirt and investigated my wheelbarrow tire that had not enough air pressure in the tire. I quickly came to the conclusion that there was not enough air pressure in the tire in my wheelbarrow that was now empty, instead of full, having dumped my wheelbarrow full of dirt back onto the pile of my three cubic yards of dirt that was delivered today, 100 yards away from where I needed it to be.

I looked around for a pump, to pump up the wheelbarrow tire that had not enough air pressure after I came to the conclusion that the wheelbarrow tire had not enough air pressure. I did not have a pump with which to pump up the wheelbarrow tire with not enough air pressure. I fiddled with the tire until it had no air pressure. So now my wheelbarow tire that had not enough air pressure is a wheelbarrow tire with no air pressure.

I thought about what it is that I might be able to do next. I determined that the only thing I could do next was resign myself for the evening to the fact that my three cubic yards of dirt would remain where I had it delivered today, 100 yards from where I needed it to be, due to the fact that my now empty former wheelbarrow full of dirt had a wheelbarrow tire that had not enough air pressure was now a wheelbarrow tire with no air pressure, and my three cubic yards of dirt that I had delivered today would remain on the driveway where it was delivered 100 yards away form where I needed it to be.

Fortunately it is under a tarp that covers most of the pile, but not all of the pile of the three cubic yards of dirt that I had delivered today 100 yards from where I need it to be.

Did I mention that it’s raining?

Update: After some lengthy and careful study of the wheelbarrow tire, I have come the the conclusion that the wheelbarrow tire has no air pressure.

**

Recommended: Cashiers Should Be Required to Have Basic Money Handling Skills
I Broke It You Bought It
It’s Comcastic!

The Carnival of Comedy #61 is up at Blogs for House. Go now!

Dear Mr. Keller,

I would like to start by letting you know that I agonized over the decision to publish this, and did not make the decision casually. I understand that saying so absolves me of any and all criticism that may be directed toward me from here on out.

I know it’s always difficult to weigh the options: Help the terrorists, don’t help the terrorists. It’s a tough decision, no one can deny that.

I also agree that the administration was half-hearted in their efforts to stop you from publishing this story. To my knowledge words such as, “treason, sedition,” and “espionage” were not used in conjunction with such words as, “arrested” and “prosecuted,” in the attempt to dissuade you from exposing a legal, effective, and secret anti-terrorism program.

I would have expected an Administration official to say something like, “Mr. Keller, if you publish this story, you will be arrested and prosecuted for treason, sedition, and/or espionage. I will leave the specifics of the charges up to the prosecutor.”

So, yes. It does seem a bit half hearted. Thanks for making every effort to undermine the war on terror, and aid, assist, fund, and collaborate with the terrorists at every available opportunity. Some day, your dream of destroying America just may come true, but only if you keep working hard toward that end.

In conclusion, I would like to say, kill yourself. Overdose on pills, eat a bullet, find out if carbon monoxide gas really is odorless and colorless, whatever. I don’t really care how you do it. I only care about two things: That you are successful, and that you do not harm any innocent people in the process, so that rules out suicide bombing. Fellow terrorist collaborators in the press, however do not count as “innocent”

I will finish by dedicating a song to you. My only regret is that the word “loser” was used instead of “traitor.”

[Embed removed] Play it at Castpost

Sincerely,

FIAR

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Trackbacked on Mudville Gazette