I still have no cable, but I’m a resourceful (and stubborn) bastard, so I mananged to upload this video to YouTube anyway. Only took about 1 1/2 years to upload it. Anyhoo, it’s a short clip of what a pleasurable experience I had while waiting to tell them that I think they suck.

I waited over 90 minutes and still didn’t get through. The whole time on hold, they advertize how wonderful and “Comcastic” their Phone, Cable, and Internet services are. I think it really drives the point home when you wait 90 minutes on hold and don’t even get through.

Their current ad campaign is to tell everyone “get Comcast, it’s Comcastic!” I assume “Comcastic” means “like a festering canker sore in your anus.” That certainly would seem to fit. “Get Comcast, it’s like a festering canker sore in your anus.” Indeed it is.

Got anal bleeding? No? We can help. We’re Comcast and we can inflict a festering canker sore in your anus. Need customer service? We’ll give you a festering canker sore in your anus instead. It’s Comcastic!

Enjoy! I probably won’t be around at all the rest of the weekend, unless the cable comes back on. I will try to post a new “Sunday Shockwaves” though. I won’t make any promises, but if it’s not up tomorrow, it will still arrive on Monday.

[Embed removed]

Watch it at YouTube

One more thing, I’m not a dirty stinkin’ hippie! I’ve showered twice since then, so bite me.

Since FIAR has sold out and become a damn, dirty, stinkin’, hippy, I have decided to mutiny. How can I contribute to a site run by a hippy that hasn’t had a bath in two days. I condemn his dirty, stinkin’, hippyness! *Shakes fist in condemnation in the general direction of PA* I am aware that FIAR has been a good blogfriend to me. He worked harder than I did when I switched from blogsnot to AN Hosting, and he allowed me to ambush his readers occasionally with my crappy writing about impaling hippies, and he did most of the work on the Carnival of Comedy on Blogs For House. However, due to his newly found hippyism, I have carefully thought out this measured and proportional response.

I must apologize for any indifference this mustiny may cause to you, the RL readers, but this is the only way. Fortunately, I know where FIAR lives, and as you read this I am on my way to PA to promptly impale him. Since I have mutinyed this site, it needs a new name. I was thinking of Fmragtops Liberty. I don’t know, what do you guys think? Leave suggestions in the comments section. Thatisall.

********

UPDATED: It’s done. FIAR is now suspended from a pike in his backyard. He’ll soon assume room temperature….Well, outside air temperature. It was for your own good, buddy. Luckily I have a copy of his living will here:

I, FIAR, being of sound mind and body, do hereby declare that if I am ever converted to hippyism, I do not wish to live. I impart the task of ending my misery on Fmragtops. For his effort in this endeavor, I leave him all my worldly possessions.

Affiant’s Signature
FIAR

We here at Radioactive Spewage, bring you a historical event. The first ever mercy impaling.

Last night the power went out during a thunderstorm, and as a result, I missed The Imperial Clubat. It was still off when I left for work this morning. It came back on by noon, but the thunderstorms continue. I am currently sitting at work, no lights, nothin’. The wind is whipping at probably at least 30 mph, and the rain is dropping like an overturned lake.

The cable is out at home, so I don’t have phone, TV, or internet, and now that the power’s out here I lost the internet connection here too, so I’m writing offline at the moment. I’ll lose battery power in a few minutes if the power here at work stays off. My battery sucks and only gives me about 15 minutes.

Crikey! It’s dark in here. Due to the wind and rain, all the doors are now closed, and we have no skylights. A few windows. but in a 60k sq. ft. building, that doesn’t illumiate much. At least the power at home is on… I hope. No pwer=no running water.

I only slept a few hours last night because it was so freakin’ hot, and I had neither AC nor fan to keep cool. I’m sick of this crap. We have trees dropping like flies, and telephone poles doing the same.

At this rate, I’m going to move us all to my parent’s house or something, that is, if they have power. Now it’s getting really hot. The only saving grace was the full blast industrial fan, and now that’s gone.

If you don’t hear from me, I either still have no way of getting online, or I done sweated to death. Hey wait, if either of those happen, this will never get posted.

UPDATE: Crap! The power’s out at my house. They’re telling me 5pm for it to be restored, which probably means 5am instead.

3:45pm – Still no power at work or at home. I’m still at work, but I’m sitting in my car and plugged in through the dash hole. I called Mom and there’s no power at her place either. Unlike us, though, they have public water, and thus don’t need electricity to have running water. We have a well, which means that the water is at a lower elevation than the house and all it’s fixtures. Stupid gravity doesn’t like things to trave up, so it requires a water pump to get running water at our place. No electricity=no water pump. GRRRRRRR! I haven’t had a shower, and I feel like a goddamned dirty hippy.

I type so slowly that it took 10 minutes to write that paragraph.

4:10 – Power’s back on at work, not at home though. Posting this.