By Flowers Bloom

FIAR is otherwise engaged today, so I will be providing you with your weekly debate. I really do not comprehend the logic behind stating that visitor’s comments will lead to a Republican victory on election day. I don’t see the correlation between comments on a weblog and actual votes, but it does cause me to feel concerned by the level of hostility during this election season.

If you are unfamiliar with the rules, you can find them by perusing the blockquoted section of this posting. I do find it unusual that there need be mention of death threats.

Can’t we all just get along?

I spent most of the day huddled under my desk, sobbing, and gently rocking to soothe myself. I spend most days like this, and I’m sure that most of you fellow chicken hawk/yellow elephants can relate. It’s what cowards do. The fierce battle cry, “Bacon!” has steeled my resolve, and just now, I found the courage to slither out from my makeshift den of safety, and sit at the desk instead of under it to make an admission.

We often hear of those who support the troops, but not the war. There are some who believe that it’s not possible, and that these are inconsistent positions. They’re not. It’s entirely possible to value the lives of the troops deeply, and want them back home, safe, instead of fighting a concocted war against a contrived enemy.

Well, I need to admit something. I support the War, but not the troops. I mean, I want them to win, but I don’t care about them as human beings. Why should I? I don’t know them. They’re not me, and that’s the most important thing.

We all know about the benefits of a War for Oil, like 12 cents a gallon gasoline, and cheap vinyl siding. With winter approaching, I need cheap heating oil too. I put my support behind the war effort 100%, as long as I don’t have to fight it. BTW, you’re next Canada. France, you might as well surrender now.

Where was I?

Who cares about the losers whining about “Ooh 3000 people died on 9/11.” So! I wasn’t one of them. It really didn’t affect me any. Work got slow for a little while, but that’s about it. That was FIVE years ago. Move on already. 3000 people I don’t know died. 3000 people I don’t know die all the time.

The “terrorists” got lucky. It’s not going to happen again, but it sure made a good pretext for war, didn’t it? We tell everyone, about “terrorists” threatening our way of life, and the public says, “We gotta go to war!” But it’s really just about Capitalist, imperialism, and oil. Sweet, delicious, fattening oil.

So, I definitely support the war. It’s getting tiresome, though, pretending to care about the troops. They’re people I don’t know too. So what?

I’m pretty selfish. I can’t think of even one time I’ve put the needs of others before myself. I’ve never been one to do selfless things, like take care of my girlfriend and her daughter when she was crippled, and unable to walk after a major knee surgery.

Or buy my girlfriend’s house so she wouldn’t lose her home because she was laid off, and in danger of foreclosure. Or take care of her daughter for a year while she worked all week long in a different state, 8 hours away. I just don’t do those sorts of things that other people do when they feel compassion for their fellow humans.

I guess it’s not all that hard to “support the troops,” though. Buy a yellow magnet made in China, and tell people, “I support the troops.” But, it just gets so tiresome. I think the magnet is ruining the paint job too.

I admit it. I’m a selfish prick, and I don’t care about anyone. We pay those guys over there. Quit crying and do your freaking job. We need oil.

Related:I’m Not Xenophobic! I Hate Foreigners
Rotten Children

I don’t know if you noticed, but I haven’t posted anything today. I mean now I have. I’ve been busy laying the smackdown on some politically correct thought police, and it looks like I won.

No need to read the whole thing, here’s the important part:

(One common thug says):

I know someone who can tell you how you can help. If you go here an online Army recruiter can chat with you and probably tell you — and if he or she can’t, you can find a recruiter here.

I know where the nearest recruiting office is located. I’ve been in there. Any further details are none of your goddamn business. I issued a chalenge to you to tell me why the propaganda war is (in your side’s opinion) only allowed to be fought by your side. You failed. I win.

OYE, you say

Operation Yellow Elephant merely asks that those eligible to serve who support the war consider serving,

Now why would people opposed to the war want to encourage people to go to the recruiter. That would seem counterproductive, and hypocritical.

But it’s not, because that’s not the goal. The goal is to shame, humiliate, ridicule, and embarass young people who are supportive of the war into FEELING like that would be hypocritical.

The purpose of which is two fold. First, to stifle pro-war rhetoric. Espousing such will result in humiliation, ridicule, and shame, or the attempt at as much. Sound a little thought-policy to you? It does to me.

Second, to use that shame, humilition, etc. as a vehicle for causeing youngsters to ABANDON their pro war position.

Your position requires nothing, and there is your supposed “consistency.” You advocate nothing and you do nothing.

You people are political correctness, thought police thugs.

Plain, insignificant, common, thugs.

Checkmate!

**

But wait, Operation Brownshirt also says:

If you are not eligible to serve, you’re off the hook.

What the Crap kind of bigotry is that?

So what’s so special about the disabled that they can’t contribute to the war effort? Those guys are not only thugs, thought police, and bullies, they discriminate against the disabled too.

MONGERS!

and don’t forget to help win the war by getting the post over 200 comments.