It is time to celebrate the swearing in of the first female Speaker of the House! Could anything be better? I mean a woman, climbing the ladder of success, building a career from nothing. No politically influential father, no riches to fall back on…all done through grit and determination!

The Democrats are planning on greeting her with open arms. She will be their leader! She will have all the power to select the leaders of committees, set public policy, decide when the troops will leave Iraq, and most importantly….she will plan parties. She will show the world that a good leader goes to church, looks evil in the face, and seeks relationships that foster the mindset to help our country prosper.

She’s a woman’s woman, not afraid to take charge and to tell the men what she wants to do. She’s not afraid to dictate decor and entertainment! She has the old-boys’ club shaking in its boots!

Well, it seems that everyone I know has fallen victim to a terrible plague. Spacemonkey had it, and he not only gave it to Tyler, he also gave it to me. Tyler gave it Wyatt who gave it to to RT – Chief Mongress, and she also passed it on to me. I can’t escape it. Blog friends are dropping like flies, and succumbing to the terrible Meme Plague.

No one is certain just who exactly is patient zero, but it is clear that the virus is evolving, and becoming more complex than the last time it ran it’s deadly course. It’s spreading, and it is up to me to put an end to it before it is too late. I only fear that it may already be too late.

I cannot think of one thing about me that is in the slightest bit odd. I am the most surrealy well adjusted individual on the face of the planet. You know as well as I do that puppets cannot be trusted. First you put your hand up their butt and wave to make them talk. Next thing you know, they’re plotting your death. We must exterminate all puppets.

I refuse to let this go on further. I do not hate my friends enough to ask them to post 6 Weird Things about themselves. I will consider the option of using it for biological warfare against the fanatical puppet threat, however.

Rotten Puppets!

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2 Random Facts About FIAR

I never thought I would stumble upon a reasonable solution to peace in the Middle East, but Finally I have found it:

Send Atheistic and Secular missionaries over there to spread the good word. Let those guys know that they don’t have to kill or die in the name of some being they’ve never seen. Tell the brethren that life was made to live, not to waste bowing down, chanting and reading some dusty old book. Let them know it’s OK to admit that nobody knows Ultimate Truth for sure. Encourage them to embrace the mystery, not jihad, not Allah. Dying in the name of religion is for chumps!

I bet not one of them will wind up like this.

Or this

They all be successful in their mission because Islamofascists are ever so tolerant of the free exchange of ideas. They are so open minded toward alternate points of view. Most of all, they are among the most non-violent, peace loving folks you could ever meet.