Just when it seems like all the old friends are hanging up the keyboard, Wonder Woman dashes to the rescue with her Lasso of Truth.

I have an admission to make, now that I am under the influence of the Lasso of Truth and I cannot lie, even if I wanted to. You know how in my Comments Policy Reminder I said that if you don’t leave comments the terrorists will win, and all the rest? I’m sure you were probably all thinking that it’s all just hyperbole, and Fear Mongering, or maybe just shameless comment whoring.

Well, what I told you was an absolute, complete, 100%, utter

…

Fact.

The Lasso of Truth forbids me from lying, so you know I am being honest. Leave comments, or the terrorists win. That rule holds true for Wonder Woman’s site too.

I would like to take this time to remind you all (Yankee speak for “Y’all”) of the Comments Policy of Radioactive Liberty:

Leave Them!

Remember, if you don’t leave comments, the terrorists win. When you don’t leave comments, the helpless, innocent, little, tiny, 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus cries. When you don’t leave comments, the Hildebeast kidnaps a toddler and eats it alive, and Nancy Ghoulosi desecrates the corpse of a Veteran, and the Taliban stones a young girl to death for the “crime” of being raped.

This begs the questions, why do those of you not commenting hate America? Why do you hate The Children™? Why do you hate women? Why is your heart so full of hate that you want the baby Jesus to cry? Why is there no terrorist that you didn’t want to hug?

Now, you America-Hating, terrorist hugging, misogynist, baby Jesus hating, child murderers better start leaving some comments.

In a display of arrogance and hubris, President Bush denounced Congressional Democrats on Wednesday for a new Iraq War spending bill, that is needed to provide food and supplies to our baby killing troops. He vowed to veto any bill that included a provision to bring our children home from their torture training centers in Iraq. Bush is determined to have his stolen Iraqi oil, no matter how many uneducated soldiers he must kill in order to have it.

In his speech, Der Fuhrer said:

Third, the House bill would add billions of dollars in domestic spending that is completely unrelated to the war. For example, the bill includes $74 million for peanut storage, $25 million for spinach growers. These may be emergencies, they may be problems, but they can be addressed in the normal course of business. They don’t need to be added on to a bill that’s supporting our troops. There’s $6.4 million for the House of Representatives’ salaries and expense accounts. I don’t know what that is — but it is not related to the war and protecting the United States of America.

It figures that the knuckle dragging frat boy wouldn’t see the correlation between peanut storage and supporting our troops. He’s never been known as having even the intelligence of a dead mosquito. It must have been all that booze he swilled. However, next time you hear about how our marines have massacred the bridesmaids and guests at an Iraqi wedding, remember that it was BusHitler that vetoed the bill that would have allowed them to have peanuts.

Both Senate and House bills included set dates for our redeployment to Okinawa, which prompted the Chimperor to respond by saying:

The consequences of imposing such a specific and random date of withdrawal would be disastrous. Our enemies in Iraq would simply have to mark their calendars. They’d spend the months ahead plotting how to use their new safe haven once we were to leave. It makes no sense for politicians in Washington, D.C. to be dictating arbitrary timelines for our military commanders in a war zone 6,000 miles away.

What does the Chimperial Draft Dodger know about wartime strategy? Nothing. That’s what. Dan Rather proved that. The only military record Dubya has is the record time it took for him to get out of going to Vietnam because he had a dentist appointment.

One thing that has always disturbed me about the Pretzeldent, straight from the get-go is the way in which he has alienated our allies. Right from the start, he lied to rush us in to a War for Oil in spite of the objections from our allies. Amerikkka was left to wage it’s racist war in solitary instead of solidarity. We invaded Iraq with a “coalition” of only 26 nations including:

Albania, Armenia, Australia, Azerbaijan, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Czech Republic. Denmark, El Salvador, Estonia, Georgia, Iraq, Italy, Japan, Kazakhstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, Mongolia, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, South Korea, United Kingdom, and Ukraine.

Since that time, our fragile so-called coalition has crumbled. Spain and El Salvador withdrew form Iraq and the United Kingdom has pledged to flee back to the Island from whence they came. Yet, ever the pretentious, arrogant, self-important cowboy, Bush is willing to go it alone. So alone, in fact, that he doesn’t even care about the will of the people, or the Constitution he swore to uphold before he stripped us of every last vestige of civil rights we had remaining.

While resilient Democrats work hard, and in bold defiance of the President, to secure our defeat in Iraq, President bush just continues to scoff at the American people, piss on our allies, and shit down the throats of our peanutless, child murdering troops.

They still have peanuts at Humor-Blogs.com, at least untill our Nazi “President” takes them away. Find more Presidential Satire on our homepage.