It’s the return of Short Attention Span topics! Links and Random thoughts for the week.

What?

Technology → Nightmare: Apple Ships 500,000 iPhones with short “i”. Via Point Five.

War Reporting → TJ’s Anti-Contrarian Blog uncovers a faux news story.

Blogging → Bloggrl tells us 11 Mistakes Your Blog Makes In Bed.

Blogging → 11 Things Before You Publish This really turned into a debate about the “Read More” function used by many bloggers. My take on it was that it’s annoying. It seems to me that most of the people defending it’s use seem to have all the good “blogger” reasons for justifying it, but not much of a “reader” perspective on it’s use. You’re readers. What do you think of clicking through for the whole post?

Copyrights → Steve Pavlina discusses The Truth About Piracy. What do you think about this one? Do you agree with his point of view? Discuss.

Vocabulary → Increase your word power with Remulak MoxArgon.

Writing → Brian Clark of Copyblogger asks, Do You Make These Mistakes When You Write?

Reviews → Conservathink gets reviewed by Humor-Blogs.com

2nd Amendment → Defend My Rights? You Betcha I Will. There is no equal to the Emperor.

From The Fallout Shelter → Rotten Children. Out of the Radioactive Liberty archives.

Link Pimpin’ → Wild Bill’s 2nd installment of Friday Blog Linking. Lot’s of great stuff to read there too.

Enjoy your weekend!

Create your own financial independence!

How would you like to quit your job, be self-employed, and work from home on your own schedule?

Well, now you can. All you have to do is monetize your blog. Studies indicate that 1% to 2% of readers click an additional link during the course of their visit – Usually by accident. Why not turn these erroneous clicks into cash? You pour your heart into your blog, and it’s time to get something in return.

You already live in a Fairy Tale world where people actually want to read your insipid collection of cat photos, links to posts that everyone has already read, YouTube videos, and monotonous details about your dull, trite life. Now is the time to plunge full force into your retarded fantasy that your blog blight on the internet can earn you money.

The only thing that prevents your pitiful blog from being an unqualified embarrassment is the absence of ads. Why not wreck your abomination of a template with obtrusive ads?

Live the American Dream and indulge your pathetic delusion of adequacy at the same time. In a few months, you’ll have earned yourself a cool nickel.

Monetize your blog right now. Once your site is an absolute calamity of advertisements, all that is left is to just sit back and finally come to the realization that your entire life is an abject failure. You’ll never make any money either.

Please visit our sponsors. And give me back that nickel. It’s mine, you thief.

Humor-Blogs.com

Related: 12 Simple Rules Guaranteed to Improve Your Blogging
10 Proven Ways to Drive Traffic to Your Blog
The Lazy Man’s Guide to Making a Million

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Oh sure, it sounds logical. After all, the primary task of a cashier is to take money and return correct change. Clearly my logical way of thinking has a fatal flaw – Logic.

On my lunch break, I stopped at the convenience store to make a quick purchase.

The first clue that something was wrong came when the cashier first spoke to me. I don’t know what language it was, but it wasn’t American English. It wasn’t English English. It wasn’t even that jibberish that Australians try to pass off as English.

It sounded something like, “Buzzle gorben fruzen koala.”

On second thought, maybe she was Australian.

The purchase total was $8.63, so naturally she said, “ankle wallaby dunken.” In her native tongue that must mean, “eight dollars and sixty three cents.” I reached forth and handed her a $20.

Where ever her native country or planet is, they must not be used to handling American currency. She looked at me like I had handed her a dry cleaning receipt, rather than cash.

Thanks to modern technology, cashiers don’t even need to calculate the difference between the amount tendered, and the amount required. The machine says right there that the change is $11.37.

Easy enough. A $10, a $1, a quarter, a dime, and two pennies. Right?

Not for our planet hopping convenience store clerk.

She seemed confused about what to give me. Her hand bounced from one part of the till to the next, never selecting a cash amount. Finally she pulled up two fives and a one. Good enough. 37 cents to go.

Still, utterly confused about what to do, she reaches for dimes, and eventually grabs a quarter instead. Then what? Nickles – No pennies. Dime?

I look in my hand: A quarter. a nickel, a penny. “Uh, that’s 31 cents. It should be 37,” I tell her. I brace myself for the convulsions that I’m positive she’s about to break into. She reaches towards the pennies.

“Crap,” I think, “Looks like I’ll be heading home with a burlap sack full of pennies.” She hands me a dime. I give back the nickel and tell her, “one more penny.” The grand mal seizure appears to be only nanoseconds away when I finally get the penny and have my correct $11.37 in hand.

I’m not sure what the qualifications required for “convenience store clerk” are, but they do not seem to include rudimentary grasp of the English language…

Or money counting abilities.

Humor-Blogs.com short-changes me all the time.

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