You can have a perfect day by starting it out contemplating, “What would Jesus do?”

You might be surprised to know that I do this. I get out of bed in the morning, jump in the shower, and ask myself, “What would Jesus do?”

As a result of this deep introspection, I’m fairly certain that Jesus would eat a Bacon® egg, and cheese sandwich and tell the effeminate vegans, “Suck it!”

Give this a try the next time you start your day, and I bet you’ll have a perfect day too.

Welcome to this weeks short links and short thoughts. One thing I should mention is not to take the subject header for a link too seriously all the time. Sometimes it’s accurate, and sometimes there’s a joke in there. Many of the links are to humorous posts, and some are serious. You’ll just have to click to find out.

Media → Penguin Pete’s reports that The Internet Finally Killed a Newspaper!

Blogging → Wild Bill has a Blogging scorecard. How To Score Yourself For Better Blogging

Public Relations → Frank J analyzes what not to do when trying to look like a human with a sense of humor. Humor & Politics: What Not to Do.

Humorless Dolts → Frank J again with Perhaps a More Appropriate Name for Them Would Be an Angry Exclamation of “That’s Not Funny!”

Religion → Johnny Virgil discusses what can and cannot be done with the light of Jesus.

That’s all for this late edition of SAST. Hopefully the next one will be on time.

If you wanted to increase your productivity, you already blew it the moment you opened up your internet browser.

Clearly, there is something else that you ought to be doing. It’s just as clear that you have no intention of doing it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

I know as well as you do that what you want are tips on how not to get things done.

Here are 5 tips on decreasing your productivity:

↓ Read a blog

You’re already doing this one, so it’s an easy choice. Just keep clicking through the recent posts or the archive. You could also follow some of the links to others that I have provided you, like Humor-Blogs.com. Whatever you do, stay on the internet.

↓ Sleep

Sleeping feels good. When you do it, you’re unconscious, so obviously you’re not being productive while you sleep.This one does come with a warning label, though. It’s possible that when you wake up you will fell invigorated, motivated, and energized. I suggest following this one with the next tip.

↓ Watch TV

Not only is watching TV unproductive, it has the added bonus of making you dumber. The more you watch, the less you do, and the dumber you get. Watching TV is a great way to avoid productivity.

↓ Get a job

There’s almost nothing more unproductive than having a job. You spend over half your waking hours being told what to do, when and where. During this time do you get to read a good book, spend quality time with friends and family, or fulfill your life’s purpose? Do you get to enjoy your hobbies, absorb the beauty of nature, or set your own schedule? If you do, you’re probably not a very good employee. There is one thing more unproductive, and that’s our next tip.

↓ Plunge into an addiction

Whether it’s pr0n, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or whatever, having a destructive addiction is the #1 way to be an unproductive person. When you’re drowning in debt, your wife has left you, you have no income, and you have sold out every bit of humanity you have left to get your next high, you won’t be accomplishing anything worthwhile at all. Congratulations! You’ve reached the pinnacle of unproductivity.

Good luck, and keep avoiding doing anything meaningful.

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