Yesterday was my Birthday. So, I was thinking that for this week’s flame war parody, we would tackle a birthday related question. Remember to have and defend a vehemently incoherent position. As always.

On my birthday, am I another year older or another year wiser?

Discuss.

There are a lot of things to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day of eating, drinking, watching football, and hanging out with family and friends.

Okay I think that about wraps up what I am thankful for. Have a great…

[Ed Note from cell phone: Chris you still have three hundred words left]

Great.

While everyone else at this conservative humor blog has already gone home I apparently have to write a full column. Okay fine. I’ll grab a few Harpoon IPA’s out of Fiar’s fridge and wing it…

I am thankful there is no reality show about Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all their kids. Yet.

Speaking of kids, they have no idea how easy they have it. We had to walk to school and back uphill in a snowstorm (there was no global warming then) both ways, using our belt to carry our books no less. Naturally, it took forever to get there because we had to keep pulling up our pants.

Today kids wear their pants halfway down their ass. Where is the thanks?

Next thing you know there will no longer be a ‘kids’ table at Thanksgiving dinner. When will the madness end?

I am thankful that I am able to buy Christmas decorations in October.

Speaking of holidays how come Christmas is the only one that has so much music? There’s no Easter music or Labor Day music. Sure, there is Halloween music but that is a no brainer.

Okay I think the beer is getting to me so it is time to sign off. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his strange sense of funny at his humor blog Angry Seafood.

Also check out Politically Correct Thanksgiving. The contribution Chris made last year.

I’ve decided I am supporting Vladimir Putin for President of the United States in 2012. Now, this is my own opinion, and I do not know how the other humorists, and satirists of Radioactive Liberty feel about my decision. This is not a blanket endorsement from this blog, only from me. I’m sure Fiar will be supporting himself as usual. Chris C will probably support a tuna or something, and I guess Les is going for Pennywise (the demonic clown not the crappy band). While those are all solid choices, I think Mr. Putin is far and away the best choice to lead this country going forward.

See, Congress has just spent a hundred gazillion dollars buying up private property, and shares in corporations. All hundred gazillion of those dollars belong to the American people. I feel Putin could have saved us a considerable amount of taxpayer dollars. He probably would have just taken all that stuff by force without paying for it. The end result is the same, except for the executives that might have been executed for speaking out against Putin’s takeover, but it would cost far less money.

The Democrats in Congress are wanting to resurrect the “Fairness Doctrine” which would, in effect, end conservative talk radio. See, liberal talk radio loses money every time. Conservative talk radio makes money. By forcing conservative talk radio to add liberal talk radio, talk radio is no longer profitable. All the stations will be playing light airy favorites of the seventies and eighties. Then, the only media voices you’ll hear will be Keith Olbermann, and Joy Beharr. What fun. President Putin on the other hand would end conservative radio, liberal radio, and would likely execute the hosts of The View for being insufferable cunts. That’s a policy I can get behind.

There’s an old saying that goes “If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly bear.” Maybe in this case it should be “If you’re gonna be a bear be a Soviet bear.” The point is the same. Why do things half-assed? At least Putin will defend our borders, and make sure islamofascists are afraid to mess with us. The bright side is we won’t have to suffer through another one of those lame “Chill wind” speeches from Hollywood types. They’ll either embrace the new administration or die. Preferably the latter.

If you liked this, you’ll love the law enforcement humor and political satire of JumpOut’s own blog: You Should be Tasered.