Political Humor

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Posts from — May 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Obama Has a Bucket Stuck on His Head

Many people are confused over one of the most important issues of our time, and that issue is President Obama and his propensity for getting a bucket stuck on his head. Some are even unfamiliar with the concept.

In a recent poll that I just made up, 32.5% of American citizens are not even aware that Obama has a bucket stuck on his head. 52% didn’t care, so they voted for him.

Obama head stuck in bucket during the inauguration

The Obama-Bucket-Head conundrum was first observed by Frank J. of IMAO.US Right Wing Humor. He explains the phenomenon thusly:

Obama is an intellectual, so whenever he sees a bucket he is inevitably going to ponder whether his head would fit inside it. To satiate his academic curiosity, he will try putting the bucket on his head and often get it stuck. Source.

I would have opted with Ockhams’ Razor, which would state that the simplest explanation is the most likely. In other words, Obama has a bucket stuck on his head because he is stupid. Since Frank’s explanation does not seem to satisfy me, and it seems to be in opposition to my theory, I have come up with the top ten reasons that Obama has his head stuck in a bucket.

10. He heard Tim Geithner’s back taxes were in there.

9. Michelle Obama got mad and slammed it on his head in one of her she-hulk rages.

8. He was told that Arlen Specter‘s conservative principles were in the bottom.

7. He was informed that Colin Powell‘s conservative credentials were in there.

6. The name of an honest Cabinet candidate was supposed to be in the bucket.

5. Joe Biden’s last remaining real hair follicle fell in and he was trying to save it.

4. His real birth certificate was there and he needed to remove it to securely shred it.

3. An advisor told him the last remaining copy of the 2nd Amendment was in the bucket.

2. He just really gets a kick out of putting on the bucket and saying “Luke. I am your father.”

1. He heard the economic recovery was in there. Wait, that’s the reason his head is stuck in the toilet.

What other reasons do you have?

May 29, 2009   13 Comments

Great Ideas For Thwarting Climate Change

chunobelprize

Yesterday, the Obama Regime’s Energy Minister Stephen Chu floated an interesting idea for addressing a warming planet, despite the fact the Earth is more on the lukewarming side:

“US Energy Secretary Steven Chu said Tuesday the Obama administration wanted to paint roofs an energy-reflecting white, as he took part in a climate change symposium in London.”

Did DuPont lobby for that one?

The suggestion also includes roads too. Yeah, that is a great idea having road surfaces be adverse to absorbing heat, especially in places where there is snow and ice in the winter.

But the idea of spreading soot on the Artic ice when the world was naturally cooling thirty years ago was insane right?

It would not have been insane if some company backed the idea with campaign contributions however.

With that said here are some more great ideas for thwarting Climate Change.

Feed Cows Beano

fartingcowThe Global Warming scientists say we should be as concerned about methane, a miniscule greenhouse gas, as we are about CO2, the other very-minor gas.

And what animal produces a lot of methane?

Cows.

To combat this problem GlaxoSmithKline, maker of Beano will lobby the government to provide the product to our nation’s dairy farmers.

Ban Chain Restaurants

nofridaysThey use a crapload of electricity and natural gas, not to mention water. They have the daily carbon footprint of ten million Hummers idling in a parking lot for a year.

What? You say it will put millions of people out of work?

No problem. They can just collect the extended unemployment benefits Obama passed a few months ago.

They can also go work for all the supermarkets that lobbied to put the chains out of business, all for a good cause of course.

The environment.

No More Whipped Cream Cans

whipitSince Nitrous Oxide is considered a Greenhouse gas we must stop the propellant from being used in whipped cream cans as well as college parties.

Sea levels will rise if we don’t.

Kraft has stepped in with their green alternative Cool Whip and plenty of campaign funds for the Democrats.

These are just a few of the many things our companies could do to help stave off Global Warming, I mean Climate Change. What corporations or industries do you think could offer some planet-saving ideas?

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Chris Cameron writes this weekly column as well as Political Humor Quick Hits here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read funny but odd posts at his own humor blog Angry Seafood.

May 27, 2009   6 Comments

RL Political Humor Quick Hits 10

rlquickhitslogo

This week’s Political Humor Quick Hits, dealing with a traditionally slow news week is about Colin Powell, and North Korea…

But Powell Is a Republican Right?

powellrinoFor someone who says he is a Republican, Liberal Attack Dog Colin Powell sure has an interesting way of driving home the point:

He said the reason he endorsed Barack Obama for president last fall — a decision that prompted a wave of conservative discontent with Powell — was he believed Obama was “best-qualified” to lead.

Let me get this straight: a leader in the Republican Party voted for the candidate in the other party because he felt that person was the best leader?

Talk about a mixed message. Of course he voted Republican before he voted Democrat:

I am still a Republican,” Powell said, noting that he “voted solidly for Republican candidates” for president for 20 years, spent 10 years of his life serving in Republican administrations and spoke at two GOP conventions.

Notice all the past tenses? “Voted”, “spent”, “spoke”. Powell is still in the Republican Party in the present, he just hasn’t voted for any current presidential candidates.

Don’t believe Powell? Just ask him.

Bad North Korea!

So North Korea tested another nuclear weapon the other day. Not to worry because the U.N. is all over it:

In an AP interview in Copenhagen, U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon deplored the test as a “grave violation” of council resolutions and called on the council in a statement to send “a strong and unified message” aimed at achieving the denuclearization of the Korean peninsula and peace and security in the region.

Quick Hits has obtained a copy of that letter:

Dear North Korea,

Please refrain from testing nuclear weapons in the future or we will be forced to send you another strongly-worded letter. Even though we said 2006 was the last time we would tolerate this behavior, this really will be the last time.

Sincerely,
Ban Ki-moon
U.N. HAIC

Maybe we should call upon the Super Rich Friends for assistance in this crisis.

superrichfriends

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his other weekly column here every week as well as his humor blog Angry Seafood.

May 26, 2009   4 Comments