This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about Gore’s firing, Obama’s newly-found testes, and light bulbs.

Gore Told to Stay Home

Al Gore has warned the world about CO2 being a pollutant as far back as the first time he figured out he could profit from a society ignorant in basic science knowledge.

I am kidding of course. Al Gore does not much about science either. He gives a hell of a sales pitch though, enough to win a Nobel Peace Prize.

Yet, for all the tireless work he has done to con-vince people CO2 has killed millions of every species on the planet already, Nancy Pelosi told him to stay home last week and work the phones instead:

“It’s a question of what was energy efficient for the vice president,” Pelosi said of the decision to keep Gore in Tennessee. “We were narrowing the list of the undecideds. We had a great narrowing of the undecideds.”

Wow. I know Pelosi thinks she runs the Democratic Party but she essentially told the spokesperson for the Climate Change Boogeyman to do the job of a political staffer.

Does Jerry Lewis tell his celebrity guests to man the phones during his telethons?

Even though Gore lost his job as Head Whiner On Climate Change he is probably crying crocodile tears. He does have that cap-and-trade company of his to fall back on.

Obama Talks Tough About Democracy

Our President recently let his thoughts on democracy be known:

In Washington, Obama said the United States will “stand on the side of democracy” and work with other nations and international groups to resolve the matter peacefully.

Was he talking about Iran?

No, silly. They have nukes. He said this about Honduras, a nation following the historic tradition of Latin American countries over the weekend:

Police and soldiers clashed with thousands of protesters outside Honduras’ national palace Monday, leaving at least 15 people injured, as world leaders from Barack Obama to Hugo Chavez demanded the return of a president ousted in a military coup.

The key to Democratic diplomacy, well besides appeasement, is only say harsh words about countries that you know you can easily beat. Or the ones that oust other leftist leaders.

The moonbats do have to stick up for their own after all.

“We believe that the coup was not legal and that President Zelaya remains the democratically elected president there,” Obama said.

Yeah, that is the funny thing about a coup: they don’t check with their lawyers first.

Obama Rewards GE With Light Bulb Sales

File this one under the “taking care of those who got me elected” section…

Aiming to keep the focus on climate change legislation, President Barack Obama put a plug in for administration efforts to make lamps and lighting equipment use less energy:

“I know light bulbs may not seem sexy, but this simple action holds enormous promise because 7 percent of all the energy consumed in America is used to light our homes and businesses,” the president said, standing alongside Energy Secretary Steven Chu at the White House.

Au contraire Mr. President. Revenue enhancement is very sexy to General Electric, a company which coincidentally gave over $2 million dollars to the Democrats in 2008.

Of course it is also just coincidence that GE put off selling their lighting division back in December.

Funny, when it comes to the Republicans everything they do is a concerted conspiracy. When it comes to Democrats these things are simply coincidences.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his other weekly column here every week as well as his own humor blog Angry Seafood.

Independence day weekend is rapidly approaching, and that means that the 2009 summer blockbuster movie season is upon us. As a brief respite from our usual political humor, I offer you this preview of some of this summer’s most eagerly anticipated movies.

Dumb and Dumber

Obama and Biden are two lovable and friendly, but very stupid friends, who struggle with every aspect of life. Obama is the President of the United States. Biden is his more experienced, but equally stupid sidekick and Vice President. Watch the two bumble their way through the misadventures of running the United States government in this hilarious comedy, destined to be a classic (Hilarity may not applicable to United States citizens). Comedy. Opens July 3.

Ice Age: Return of the Dinosaurs
After the events of “Ice Age: The Meltdown”, life begins to change for Manny and his friends: Fossil fuels still exist, but they have been cap and traded to developing nations. Manny and his friends struggle to make ends meet as a new ice age erupts in the face of hysteria over global warming. Animated Comedy. Opens July 3.

The World According to Gore

Al Gore is Gore. He’s got a funny way of looking at life. Opens July 10.

Obama Brasco
Barack Obama goes undercover inside a radical Islamic extremist terrorist cell. A low level flunkie in the terror cell befriends Obama, and soon Obama is one of the most trusted members of the group. However, a moral dilemma confronts Obama when a mole is suspected and he realizes that ending the undercover operation will put his friend at risk. Based on a true story. Drama. Opens July 10.

National Lampoons Iranian Vacation
Iran has a long and storied history, dating back to the very beginning of human civilization… Until the Obama family pays a visit for their summer vacation. Obama has trouble speaking English when there is a teleprompter in front of him. Without a teleprompter or a translator, there’s sure to be one zany disaster after another in the cradle of civilization. Comedy. Opens July 17.

They Call Me Senator Boxer

With the right kickbacks, anyone can buy a title. Drama. Opens July 17.

Air Force One
The President of the United States is on a mission to secure public relations photos for Air Force One when the plane sweeps in on a near miss of the Statue of Liberty, sending New Yorkers into a terrified panic. Action. Opens July 17.

The Crying Game

When a Supreme Court Justice appointment unexpectedly opens, President Obama appoints Sonia Sotomayor to the position. However there are some things that even Obama doesn’t know about Sotomayor. (Same surprise ending). Political Thriller. Opens July 24.

Snakes on a Plane

Hair raising thriller featuring Nancy Pelosi… On a plane. Action and Adventure. Opens July 24.

Please submit your own summer movie previews in the comments section.

Concept by Fiar, Movie Posters by Les James.

Q: What do Governor Mark Sanford and Elvis have in common?

A: Both of their careers died with pants around the ankles.

Some of you may have heard that Michael Jackson died yesterday, thus ending his career too. But unlike Elvis, you almost never see a troop of Michael Jackson impersonators (Although it could be argued that Jackson was a bad impersonation of himself) And if you did find one, I wouldn’t hire him for a kid’s birthday party. Well, Jackson’s death might bring the financially strapped family some money in the form of movie and TV rights. I’d like to suggest a title for a movie, MJ: The Pedo File.

I’m waiting for Congress to vote for a bail-out for the Jackson Estate. It’s been estimated that he owes between 400 to 500 million dollars to various banks. Is the Kink Of Pop too big to fail? We’ll have to wait to see. I can hear Obama saying that he doesn’t want to run the Michael Jackson Estate.

Elvis is known as The King, Jackson as The King of Pop, and Sanford was looking to the 2012 Presidential elections. He was The Man Who Would Be King. Coincidence?

So, Governor Sanford’s and Jackson’s and Elvis’ careers are dead. Sanford’s just doesn’t have the grace to go to room temperature. Instead Sanford has decided to take a page out of the Obama Version of the Democrat Play Book. He’s going on an apology tour. Politics and monkeys sure make strange bedfellows.

In related news: Michael Jackson has just been spotted at a gas station in Memphis.