On a completely unrelated note to ObamaCare, but related to Halloween, I went to a 6th grade Halloween dance at the school. Now, first of all, I felt a little awkward showing up at the school, because that is the way I felt in school back when they made me go there to learn how to be a good little subordinate of the State – which they failed at, by the way.

Once I got there, I had an exciting revelation. It turns out they were having an election. I didn’t even need to register to vote. This made me suspicious. Is ACORN behind this voting thing? And just what measures were being taken to prevent voter fraud?

I was completely unprepared to vote. There were approximately 200 candidates, and there was no indication just what position each candidate was campaigning for. What were their party affiliations? What if the candidate I voted for “best use of Halloween colors” was really running for “most realistic costume?” Who audits the vote count?

Not only that, but I had no idea where any of the candidates stood on the issues. I assumed that the person with the most expensive costume was in favor of economic growth, and the person that made their own costume probably favored fiscal responsibility, but was the zombie surgeon in favor of Socialized health care, or opposed to it?

I cast my votes, not knowing anything about the candidates for office, which really isn’t any different than anyone else does in a political election. Mostly I voted for people that looked good, or that I already knew. Also, much like a political election.

I do think the vote was rigged, however. My step-daughter did not win for best costume, and I voted for her twice. I demand a recount.

Happy Halloween!

Thanks to Les for letting me hijack his Halloween picture post.

The Planet’s Best Political Humor site sent Eric on Special Assignment for an exclusive interview with Dmitry Medvedev. I must warn you, this post is censored due to strict restrictions on speech in Russia.

First of all I would like to thank The Planet’s Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.Com for graciously sending me to the Federation of Russia to partake in this conversation.

Eric: President Medvedev, Thank you for offering me your valuable time, I must say it is generous that you would allow me to come here for this conversation. An unscripted meeting of this type with a conservative organization such as Radioactive Liberty is now strictly forbidden in America.

President Medvedev: (his English is perfect, with a slight southern drawl) It is my honor to offer the time of the people of the Federation of Russia to such a prestigious and upstanding organization as Radioactive Liberty. They are at the top of my list of blog sites that I check every day. If it were permitted in my country I would hope to attain such an occupation as this. I very much admire the freedoms of America, and wonder what will become of it in the near future.

Eric: Do you think America is moving in the wrong direction?

President Medvedev: Are you F&*king kidding me? Who is this sock-puppet you have installed as president of your country? OMFG, Have you seen what he is doing to your country? Running all over the world, apologizing for American blood, shed in honor, for the liberty and freedom of others, while at the same time stealing money from your own people to give to the most worthless and corrupt, taking over banks and manufacturing. What a Fascist! He’s such a pu$$y, he wouldn’t last 13 days under a real Marxist regime! At least Putin had some balls! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to explode like that I just hate when democracy enables popular amateurs, rather than capable leaders. There is no substitute for leadership.

Eric: You don’t need to be sorry Mr. President, 48% of us didn’t vote for him either. Tell me more about your feelings about Americas’ future.

President Medvedev: I know your constitution, and it is an admirable and priceless contract between government and the people. I wish the writers of our own constitution 20 years ago were as smart as those who wrote yours 200 years ago. I must say however; that I fear for the stability of the entire world if America doesn’t fix the problems it has developed since socialism and political correctness has taken over the opinions of your voting population.

Eric: What would you advise us as Americans to get back to the basis of who you believe we should be?

President Medvedev: WOW! Are you kidding me? American values, American traditions, American ambitions, American leadership, American courage, American honor, American industry. There is nothing on the earth that can stand against these things. Just get that damn Mussolini-wanna-be out of office, along with all his enablers, and put in charge people who believe in the things America stands for, like Sarah Palin, or Michelle Bachman, or any of those HOT ladies on FOX who are REAL conservatives, oh, and Ronald Reagan, God I miss Ronald Reagan. Russia was this close (holding his index finger and thumb nearly touching) to becoming the new America when Reagan was in charge. Oh, and ban all lawyers from any political positions. Lawyers are nothing but… (Russian translation is not possible, envision all lawyers as Gulag detainees).

Eric: Thank you President Medvedev for this time and for your honest words. The value of which is immeasurable to the people of America.

President Medvedev: It has been my honor to speak with the glorious freedom loving people of Radioactive Liberty. P.S. You think you can get me an interview with that hot Sarah Palin?

Here’s a picture Eric sent back. It’s either him and Medvedev or Medvedev and his wife. It was never specified which one, but rest assured, if that is Eric in the picture, we conservatives don’t care about your alternative lifestyle, so long as you take responsibility for it.

And if You Don’t Like It, Screw You

What an Abortion is just a euphemism, get over it. Here you thought a euphemism was a nicer way of saying something like, sanitation engineer instead of garbage collector, right? Well, I’m telling you it is a euphemism and I am being nice. But here’s the deal, I’ve got something to say that’s not very funny, and I’m tired of mincing words, so this is going to get ugly. If you don’t like the direction this is heading, you better bail out now. It’s fixin’ to get a whole lot worse, but not just yet.

I know that most of our readers are high functioning, politically savvy individuals. You folks are going to understand the reason for my rant, if not feel the same way. But for you few who stumbled in here by mistake, I’m going to throw you a bone. Take this for what it is, a gift. So for you knuckleheads, here’s a few sightly more PC examples of what this administration has been doing to our country these last nine months: They’ve fouled-up, bungled, botched, mishandled, muffed, fumbled, dropped the ball and blew it.

Not getting it? No wonder. Those limp specimens of polite and proper speech don’t really convey a true sense of our very serious current situation. They were weak words for weak minds. What? If the shoe fits…

Let’s try this again with some slightly more vulgar examples. It’s sad I’ve got to get down to a level you lost ones can understand, but I’ll do for you anyway. That’s just the kind of guy I am. I think a couple of these might actually be original: They’ve pounded the pig, donged the dog, backdoored the baloney, slipped in the sausage, packed the pooper.

No? Damn, some of you are really dense. Who dressed you this morning? Okay, fine. Swan diving off the sidewalk and into the gutter, here’s something you might understand: They’ve fucked us in the ass! Is that better? Do you get it now? See, it was more polite to say abortion, wasn’t it? Trust me next time.

Where was I? Oh, yeah

I’m glad we got through with that. Now, what’s the result of this sodomizing assault? Well, getting back on topic, we’re about to give birth to the evil twins of Obama Care, and Cap and Trade. They’re going to make Rosemary’s Baby look like that cute little kid on the Gerber labels.

This is one instance where I’m very much in favor of extreme late term abortions. (There’s that word again) I’d go so far as to say that we need to take a machete to the bloated Nanny State, cut out this vile and abhorrent pair, and hack them to little bits. Then finish off the Nanny. Too much for your delicate constitutions? Pussies.

Wake-the-hell-up! These two are going to suckle from the government teat until it’s dry. Then they’re going to grow teeth, and start eating everything in sight. Not just house and home, but industry and infrastructure too.

Are you man purse carrying, tree huggers still here? I’d have thought you’d have gotten bored by the lack of pictures. I’m going to bet you didn’t get that last paragraph either? Fine. Here we go again. I’ll use small words. This is going to cost a whole fucking lot of money we don’t have, and will gobble up so much future income that there will be little left for any cool shit, let alone your groceries. Yeah, that means beer too.

Ah, but there’s another issue. Cap and Trade may be switched at birth. We might get the Copenhagen Climate Treaty shoved down our throats. That will put a UN commission in charge of the environment. In case you haven’t noticed, the environment is everywhere, so their mandates will extend around the world.

Then again, the Supreme Court has already given the EPA the authority over that nasty pollutant, CO2. That agency can impose stringent measures without Congress or the UN even having to get involved. Or, it could mean we give birth to quadruplets. And you thought the Octomom had her hands full.

Barry, Barry quite contrary,
How does your Government grow?
With Tax Evaders, and Right Wing Haters,
And petty little Czars all in a row

I’d Love to Change the World

We lost the War on Poverty, so our government has declared a War on Wealth. It’s much easier to tear down the affluent then to build up the destitute. “Tax the rich, feed the poor, ’til there are no rich no more.” Alvin Lee should be writing Obama’s speeches. Here’s the catch, the affluent are now anyone who has money. Any money. And Obama’s gunnin’ fer it.

If you haven’t figured it all out, Health Care, Cap and Trade, massive give aways, redistribution of wealth, the take over of car companies and financial institutions, telling execs how much they can make, etc, etc, is about Control. Government Control. Big, Fat, Fascist, 1984, Animal Farm, Government Control. Personally, I’m tired of getting porked by these punks. It’s time to reach around and neuter these butt pirates by ripping out their genitalia.

This post is going to be seen around the world. Folks in like other countries and stuff are going to read this. Yeah, I find that really weird too. But all politics are local. It’s here and now. We need to continue to fight at a grassroots level. Water your little patch with a healthy dose of truth and keep it in the limelight. No need for fertilizer, there’s more than enough bullshit to go around already. It will grow out to meet the next patch of resistance, and the next, and the next. The end result will be a nice, healthy lawn of conservatism that spreads from sea to shining sea.

Next, we’ll vote out a chunk these bastards next year, and another chunk -along with The Chosen One– two years later. Then we preform retroactive, way late term abortions on all of their destructive intrusions into the General Welfare. Now, that’s a green program I can get behind. Oh, and we’re not going to cut this lawn, it gets to grow wild… and free.

At no time during the writing of this post was the Nanny State slit open, nor were any politician’s genitals torn out by the roots. Too bad.