Imagine a world without Democrats…
I’m starting to feel happier already. I know what you’re thinking though.
“But Fiar, who’s going to control us with fear of an ecological holocaust? Who’s going to remind us what failures we are? Who’s going to save us from our own ignorance? Who’s going to take care of us from cradle to grave? Who’s going to make sure that the grave comes before the cradle?”
Nicely played, young apprentice. You make me proud. Look how many reasons you’ve already provided for ridding the world of Democrats. Keep watching and learning from Grand Master Fiar, and one day you will be as great and wise as me. Then you too will always be right.
Now it’s time to take a journey with me and discover five reasons why the world would be a better place without Democrats:
Democrats want you to hand over your money.
Careful there strong-willed one. You are getting close to being one of the evil “wealthiest one percent.” You need to pay your fair share in taxes for providing employment and products and services to so many. We Democrats are here to remind you that all your hard work and contributions to society mean nothing unless you pay higher taxes.
Democrats want you to hand over your responsibility.
Well hello there, Joe Bob Joe. Just look at all those children you have there, running around in bare feet. We can provide you and your children with free health care, free education, and freedom from parental responsibility. Look, little Joe Bob Joe Jr. looks a little hyperactive. We have some pills that will make it easier to manage him and make him into a good little zombie of the state.
No, Joe Bob Joe. Don’t go teachin’ them there chillun about your values. What do you know about values anyway? Look at how you live. We Democrats drive fancy cars, live in fancy estates, and went to fancy universities. Can you say “You-nee-ver-si-tee?”
Close enough.
Clearly we Democrats know more than you about what’s best for you children.
Democrats want you to hand over your free will.
Hi there Thomas. You look like a fine African-American. Are those beautiful children yours? Oh, that’s your niece and nephew. We Democrats can provide you with public housing and food stamps to help you raise your sister’s children.
Wait, where are you going? You just started your own small business and your off to meet with some new potential clients? Careful there Uncle Tom. Your skin tone is looking a little light. Why don’t you sit down and have some Oreos with the children and think long and hard about where your place is.
Democrats want you to be a victim.
Look. It’s migrant worker Juan. I see you’re doing the work that Americans won’t do. We Democrats want to help put you on a path to citizenship so that you can vote for us and receive minimum wage for your work. We’ll make your employer provide you with benefits too.
What’s that? You came here legally? Well then, I’m starting to fear that some racists might think you’re just another dirty brown person and harm you. Democrats can protect you by keeping guns out of the hands of the law abiding, and making hate-crime legislation. You need us, Juan.
Democrats just don’t trust you.
Congratulations Sally! Your pregnancy test just showed that you have a fetus in the womb. Now you can show your independence and remove that barrier to your success. You can thank Democrats for preserving your right to choose.
What? You want to have the baby? Think how much more fulfilling your life will be if you orient your life around a career. We Democrats gave you the right to choose, and you chose wrong. That’s OK though, Sally. We Democrats will be there every step of the way to make sure that your daughter makes the right choice.
It’s easy to see that Democrats will only exist if you need them. If you
- Believe that the money you earn is yours to choose how to spend or save
- Embrace responsibility
- Exercise your free will
- Empower yourself
- Trust yourself to make better choices for you than the government will
Then you have already taken the first step in creating a world without Democrats by not needing them.
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world…
Humor-Blogs.com is a corner of the internet without Democrats.
To learn more about making the world a better place Subscribe to Radioactive Liberty.
2004–2008
36 responses so far ↓
1 RT - Chief Mongress // Jul 25, 2007 at 10:19 am
Excellent. Now if all the politicians would stop making me hand over lots of my money, I’d be really happy, out of debt, and a homeowner. But, you know…we wouldn’t want me contributing to the economy or anything.
2 Skul // Jul 25, 2007 at 10:59 am
Just the thought of that makes me happier than a twelve pack.
3 Uber // Jul 25, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Nice touch with the tunes. Almost like actually being there…
4 Diesel // Jul 25, 2007 at 2:54 pm
You WISH it was a corner without Democrats. Now I have to smash all those delicate right-wing hopes and dreams. Is that what you want? IS IT?!?!
5 richj // Jul 25, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Democrats are welcome to sit in any corner of the internet that they want, as long as they keep the dunce cap on.
6 richj // Jul 25, 2007 at 5:00 pm
And we get to beat them with rulers.
7 Chris C // Jul 25, 2007 at 11:57 pm
There has to be the opposing force to the Republicans. It is like the Matrix. Their purpose is to offset each other, and perhaps the only solution is for both of them to die.
Imagine….
Guliani and Clinton duking it out in a mud hole in the pouring rain while hundreds of Clinton clone agents watch from above…
Finally Gulianni realizes the only way is to die and allows Hillary to thrust her hand into Rudy’s chest and take his lifeforce….
Hillary explodes moments later after asking “Is this it? Did I win the election?” as a cascade of images of her awful Sopranos parody rain down….
The world is a better place and as Serif, the Oracle and the little girl look up they see the image of all our great presidents from both sides that didn’t have to deal with the bs nowadays in politics.
Then the artitect shows up and he’s really Ross Perot! Ahhhhhgggggg!!!!
8 Chris C // Jul 26, 2007 at 1:11 am
I don’t know why but whenever I come here your posts give me inspiration for stuff like you see above.
9 Skul // Jul 26, 2007 at 3:10 am
Yer a sick puppy Chris. I like ya.
10 RT - Chief Mongress // Jul 26, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Please refrain from using the words Hillary and thrust in the same sentence. It makes me queasy. Thank you.
11 Wild Bill // Jul 26, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Dugg, stumbled, and sent to the post pimpers. Thanks for making me blow tea from my nose.
12 FIAR // Jul 26, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Chris, that was awesome!
RT, what’s wrong with thrusting Hillary? I don’t get it.
WB, thanks! And you’re welcome, I think.
13 RT - Chief Mongress // Jul 26, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww….now I’ll have nightmares! Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
14 psychochick // Jul 27, 2007 at 1:07 am
You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!
15 Eileen // Jul 27, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Chris,
I agree, They both need to die.
Just think,
We can get X% improvement if there were no Democrats and 2X% improvement if there were no Republicans.
I am proud to say I belong to neither of the above groups, and find vote against both groups more and more often.
(But I admit that I used to be a Democrat.)
16 Chris C // Jul 28, 2007 at 12:25 am
True, but unfortunately they would sprout up again in another form, like lawyers or people who think a song about an umbrella is music gold.
I think the latter would be the democrats because they blather on and on about how much we need them like a broken record. Republicans are perfect lawyers because like all politicians, they walk away with the money.
ella…ella…ella…ella…
17 Rosemary // Jul 28, 2007 at 5:03 am
Too logical. The dems will be offended, but they won’t know why! lol
18 Why Do Today What You Can Put Off Until Tomorrow? // Aug 15, 2007 at 10:13 pm
[...] 5 Surefire Ways to be More Unproductive Five Reasons Why the World Would be a Better Place Without Democrats 12 Simple Rules Guaranteed to Improve Your Blogging The Lazy Man’s Guide to Making a Million [...]
19 Tangwystl // Sep 6, 2007 at 4:30 pm
“Who’s going to remind us what failures we are?”
And you do need reminding. Constantly.
20 Rick // Sep 7, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Um…hey…have you noticed the state of the world with the current REPUBLICAN president that most of YOU voted for?
Case closed.
21 Rick // Sep 7, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Oh, and Radioactive Liberty is a failure. Just wanted to remind you.
22 Patty // Sep 7, 2007 at 2:58 pm
So glad to see all that Republican think tank money has gone to good use.
23 Fiar // Sep 7, 2007 at 3:21 pm
So… Who exactly is a Republican here? If no one else, Patty at least should have enough familiarity to know that I hate “both” parties. In fact, I find the idea of even accepting a premise of “two parties” repugnant.
I just find Traitorcrats are even more vile and anti-America than the Republitraitors.
24 Rick // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Oh and one more thing:
Why don’t you google “Abramoff forced abortions” and learn a little something of your former head lobbyist of the Republican party.
25 Patty // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:40 pm
FIAR- Ok, I’ll give you that. Only because I laughed at the Fred Thompson = Hitler post. Not what I expected from you at all.
(FIAR remembers me…Patty the troll….awe…)
Last time I “trolled” on your site you were going to make some changes. (many months ago)
I’ve read many of your recent posts and have been quite impressed. The mood has lightened up quite a bit. I actually enjoyed reading most of your posts except for this one.
But who really gives a shit what I think. I’m just a troll.
26 Patty // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Calm down Rick.
27 Chris C // Sep 8, 2007 at 1:47 am
One thing we can all agree on is NOBODY in Washington gives a crap about us. The problem is until the 50’s nobody gave a crap about them. The real emphasis was on local and state politics before the Cold War.
It is ironic we concern ourselves with federal matters so much when these days when fed funding is much much lower what it was 50 years ago as a % of tax revenue.
If ever we need to worry about our local governments and who is in charge there. Is it a good thing that your town zoning board allowed the building of three new drug store chains in the same block?
Our way of life and how much government effects us begins in our towns and states, not in Congress. It is time we started telling them they are no longer relevant until they start giving our states more federal tax revenue.
Of course I know this will never happen. But it should.
28 Fiar // Sep 8, 2007 at 11:56 am
Chris said:
I disagree. One of the primary reasons for the FedGov becoming as overly intrusive as it has is the fact that federal funds are given to states. It’s time for the states to refuse federal funding and go back to self sufficiency. That will sever the strings attached to the federal funding, and work toward restoring the intention of the Constitution that all powers not specifically granted to Fed are powers of the states, localities, or individuals.
Government is the problem, not the solution. That was essentially the point of this post.
Thanks for leaving such a non-troll comment, Patty. Keep it up and you won’t be a troll anymore.
29 Patty // Sep 10, 2007 at 11:55 am
Thanks FIAR!
I’m with Chris C. We need smarter Government at the local and state levels. I believe all the money Bush borrowed from the SS Trust Fund and the various FedGov funded programs would have been better spent as intended and not used for the Iraq War.
The states I live and work in (MS, & TN) were hit hard. Basically we are broke!
30 Chris C // Sep 10, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Fiar,
Since 1960, federal taxes going back to the state and town level has diminished greatly. The dollar amount is literally the same as it was 50 years ago but the percentage has sunk like a rock. I can’t find the link, but the charts are out there.
This is why our towns and cities have been struggling to make ends meet with their budgets. Sure, when times are good they do well, but any downturn screws us because there is no money coming from the Feds.
Your idea is in action right now, where the states and towns are relying on themselves for tax revenue. But when I see firemen standing in traffic light intersections hitting me up for money to fund the local fire department, I realize that local funding only doesn’t work, or that our local leaders suck.
Either way your reply underscores it even further that we need to pay more attention to the politics at home and not in DC.
Government, or any leadership works only when the people who give it its power pay attention to what they are doing. Our local government needs our attention a lot more then a bunch of people in Congress who have passed more resolutions congratulating college sports teams then passing anything that actually helps you and me, the average Joe.
@Patty: Every president has used the SS fund to their advantage. Tennessee is broke eh? Too bad Al Gore doesn’t care more about his home state. How much of his earnings from global warming could be used to turn things around there?
31 Fiar // Sep 11, 2007 at 10:21 am
Chris and Patty I have to disagree. It’s sad that states lack the funds to take care of themselves, just as it’s sad when individuals lack the funds to take care of themselves, but it is not the government’s job to take care of states, nor is it their job to take care of individuals.
In both cases, it’s nothing but Socialism. It accomplishes nothing, except to make people think they are not responsible for their own lives, and the lives of their neighbors.
It is the duty of individuals, not the government to take care of themselves. Putting that on the Gov. is the very cause of people abdicating that responsibility.
“That’s not my problem. That’s the government’s job.”
No. It’s yours.
32 Chris C // Sep 11, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I agree with the onus being on us. But since we are way past the point of the validity of taxation, we need to manage the money better.
I agree that re-distribution of wealth is the wrong way to go but that’s the system in play. Our only other option is watching where our money goes and putting pressure on our local leaders to spend it wisely.
You wrote an article about procrastination, which was very popular and is what we all do. You can’t expect us to then not be this same way about our personal finances, especially in an economic system that bases 3/4 of it’s value on it’s citizens spending their money.
I can take care of myself, but I cannot do anything about being taxed. All I can do is turn the crews on the people that manage it.
We can debate until the cows come home but until ALL of us say no and stop paying taxes, the system will be in place.
I won’t be holding my breath for the former that’s for sure hehe
33 peoplearepeanuts // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:20 pm
of course the war in Iraq isn’t costing any tax dollars?
this is a funny site though
34 peoplearepeanuts // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:24 pm
i agree with Eileen back a ways
“We can get X% improvement if there were no Democrats and 2X% improvement if there were no Republicans.”
i don’t like the media either
it is just out to make money and there is too much about Brittany Spears on all the news channels. five minutes twice a day of celeb gossip news, it’s on every time i turn on the TV that is not news!!
35 I’m Disappointed With My Lack of Fascist Credentials // Oct 15, 2007 at 12:37 pm
[...] over the citizens. Based on the results, one could concievably get the impression that I think individuals do a better job at deciding what’s best for their lives than the government [...]
36 Bob // Nov 23, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Sweet, now that the Republicans are in power I guess I can stop paying taxes.
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