The Senate passed the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 Wednesday and this bailout bill is exactly what this country needs to get the political humor flowing again.
I mean economy. Whoops.
The economy is not struggling because Democrats forced banks to make bad loans, then those banks turned around and re-packaged the loans into securities, selling them over and over using their perceived value alone to drive the sales and make more loans until inflation caught up with an ever-increasing money supply, sending the whole mess tumbling down faster then the objectivity of Saturday Night Live’s political humor.
Those are mainstream media lies.
The truth is this is all Bush’s fault. Thankfully, the Senate came to our rescue with a new and improved Economic Stabilization Act. No longer are we talking about our government buying billions of dollars in distressed properties worth nothing or our Treasury department becoming so powerful they might as well appoint Armando Montelongo, famed house flipper as Secretary.
This is serious and finally the real causes of the financial meltdown are being addressed.
The Bailout Bill deals with serious economic cripplers like solar panels. If they were more affordable it would fend off the specter of high fuel costs and restore consumer confidence. The legislation will allow tax deductions for the purchase of solar panels and lead to economic expansion.
What, they cost thousands of dollars? Come on man, use a credit card. Does Congress have to do all the thinking for you?
The Bailout bill will devote tax dollars to wool modifications. If tax breaks on solar panels don’t help, then people will need sweaters in the winter and any improvements in wool would be a huge benefit. This is another way to reduce fuel costs and get the economy moving again, unlike something stupid like drilling for our own oil.
Warmer wool sweaters mean more money in your pocket. Feeling stimulated economically yet? Me too, so much so that I’m thinking of buying Wachovia stock.
There is improved insurance coverage for mental health patients in the Bailout Bill. There are a lot of moonbats and they require medication to maintain their emotional stability. Without this provision millions of wacky liberals will be homeless. We can’t have economic growth if we have all these vagabond Democrats milling about where we live, work, and shop.
The financial health of America is tightly tied into how much excise tax is put on companies that make wooden shafts for arrows for children. The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act includes an exemption to the tax for this crucial cog of the underpinnings of the economic system. This will lead to the end of the credit freeze.
The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 is just what the doctor ordered to fix our ailing economy. It is a good thing Congress did not pull the modified wool over our eyes with a copy of the failed House Bailout Bill, the one we all agreed was horrible a few days ago.
Sleep well America. Your financial future is finally secure.
Chris Cameron writes this political humor insanity every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. He also has his strange view on life at his own humor blog, Angry Seafood.
Humor-blogs.com doesn’t have a bailout plan but they have very funny blogs. Lots of great choices unlike in politics.
2004–2008
26 responses so far ↓
1
Fiar
// Oct 2, 2008 at 11:54 am
For a Hard hitting, objective news site, we’re not doing to well. It’s not a bailout anymore. It’s a rescue.
2
David
// Oct 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm
>>>The economy is not struggling because Democrats forced banks to make bad loans, then those banks turned around and re-packaged the loans into securities, selling them over and over using their perceived value alone to drive the sales and make more loans until inflation caught up with an ever-increasing money supply,
I couldn’t agree more. It is the quite clearly the fault of the McCain Republicans for obscenely deregulating the mortgage and banking industries that made those disastrously risky loans possible in the first place. All the rest of the fecal matter flows downhill from there.
Cheers!
3
Fiar
// Oct 2, 2008 at 2:15 pm
McCain Republicans? McCain’s a Socialist, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I’m glad your opposed to big spending, intrusive government Socialists like Bush, and McCain. Now let’s let the idiots who gave or received bad loans pay the price of their own stupidity so it won’t happen again.
4
JumpOut
// Oct 2, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Jesus, I hate hippies.
5
Les James
// Oct 2, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Wasn’t there also a provision for kids blinded by the wooden arrows?
6
JumpOut
// Oct 2, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Yeah, you get a tax credit for each arrow-blinded-child you have.
7
Fiar
// Oct 2, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Wasn’t there also a provision for kids blinded by the wooden arrows?
It’s called the “No eyeball left behind” provision.
8
Fiar
// Oct 2, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Unfortunately, once you pull out the arrow, there’s no eyeball left behind.
9
doug
// Oct 2, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Obama is teh socialist One size fits all health car eis a socialist policy.
This mess started in the 90’s with teh clinton Administaration saying it was illegal not to give minorities who couldnt afford it the aMERICAN DREAM. nOW WE ARE PAYING TEH PRICE.
10
Fiar
// Oct 2, 2008 at 9:02 pm
The preceding was a paid sponsored message from the literacy council.
11
JumpOut
// Oct 2, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Is teh socialist and teh clinton somehow related to teh funny?
12
Les James
// Oct 2, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Some one please tell me I heard Biden say that there was one hundred million middle class families. My grand daughter is visiting so I couldn’t hear everything. But PLEASE tell me I heard that correctly.
13
Chris C
// Oct 2, 2008 at 10:04 pm
David, I’m not sure you realize this but the Dems are not on your side. You are defending people that are doing nothing to help you.
This bill is garbage and will do nothing to address how we are going to lower the excessive money supply or regulate easy credit that allowed poor people to buy homes or any of us to have an average of eight credit cards.
It is the same bill that failed on Monday with just two changes: more FDIC insurance and the return of the mark to market rule.
We were all mad this past weekend, but when the market crashed and everyone lost a chunk of their 401k people got scared and asked Congress to do something.
What do they do? Give us the same bill we screamed bloody murder to stop. When things even got a little tough we backed down.
The problem is not who did what the problem is us. Because we took on more and more personal debt over the years we can’t say no to a bill like this because the pols can outlast us financially until we give in.
The more debt someone has the less power they have.
We have to shed our personal debt and work hard at doing it so we can get back our power.
14
Chris C
// Oct 2, 2008 at 10:11 pm
@Les: If he said that it would be very funny being that there are around 60-70 million total families in the US.
15
Les James
// Oct 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Just found this at onenewsnow.com
“The middle class under John McCain’s tax proposals — 100 million families, middle class families, households to be precise — they got not a single change, they got not a single break in taxes,”
Thank you Joe, thank you.
16
Chris C
// Oct 2, 2008 at 11:54 pm
hmmm he’s mixing households and families which makes it more blurry. There are about 111 million total households in the US.
Joe “The Gaffe” Biden strikes again!
17
Andrew Abraham
// Oct 3, 2008 at 4:48 am
You seem not the most favorable on this bill… Come on..it has to have some positive merits… In our forums on MyInvestorsplace.com some members are very positive…Don’t you think at least from a small point of view…that it will help some psycologically?? I would like to hear your thoughts… Why do you disagree
18
JumpOut
// Oct 3, 2008 at 8:07 am
Andy, what the hell are you talking about? Besides the fact that the bill will pretty much nationalize the financial industry, and the fact that we don’t have the money to do what the bill wants, I don’t want my tax dollars getting into the mental health business.
What the hell are you Andy? A government operative?
19
Fiar
// Oct 3, 2008 at 9:02 am
If we don’t allow there to be consequences and lessons learned we are setting up for the situation to get worse. In abusive or alcoholic relationships, they call it enabling. Short term pain must be felt for long term gain.
20 Satire | Bush Urges SPCA to Solve Banking Crisis | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Oct 3, 2008 at 11:31 am
[...] What’s Not to Love about The $700 Billion Dollar Bailout Bill? [...]
21
Chris C
// Oct 3, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Andrew you can’t keep creating money and lending it all over the place. All this bill does is buy the bad debt and start the process of borrow borrow borrow all over again.
There is a credit crunch because we have finally reached a ceiling on how much we can borrow. The Bill does not address this problem, and in fact it borrows more money to not solve anything.
We need to pare down our debt, both as a country and personally before the credit will free up. This is basic economics.
The other thing the Bill does is cover up all this bad debt. There has to be way more then $700 billion in distressed property for Congress to want this done so badly and quickly.
I used to think our lack of knowledge in math and science were going to be our ruin but now we need to include basic economics.
22
Chris C
// Oct 3, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Oh and Captain Morgan recently build a new Rum manufacturing plant in the Virgin Islands and now they get a nice tax break from this bill.
Good thing they addressed rum imports, the key drag on our economy. We need it after all to trade for molassas and slaves.
23
jody
// Oct 3, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Here’s some more bailout humor - a really funny song about the Wall Street mess. Anything to lighten up a grim topic: Bailout song
24
Chris C
// Oct 4, 2008 at 12:20 am
If anyone wants a good serious analysis of why this Act will not help us, I wrote one up over on Andrew’s forum for the fine folks over there.
http://www.myinvestorsplace.co.....opic%3A711
25 Satire | McCain Obama Town Hall Presidential Debate Highlights | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Oct 8, 2008 at 8:03 pm
[...] What’s Not to Love about The $700 Billion Dollar Bailout Bill? [...]
26 Flame War Parody #43 | Financial Crisis | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Nov 7, 2008 at 10:00 am
[...] this current climate of financial crisis, many of us will be finding ourselves laid off, or seeking supplementary income. Others will be [...]
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