Is it just me, or is it time for Al Gore to shut the fuck up? I know Al Gore likes to think of himself as the smartest man alive, and the media likes to gargle his nads, but I have to think that there is a better time to release a global warming book than in November. I mean, it was snowing in South Louisiana about that time last year.
If you live in Minnesota, and you’re freezing your ass off, no shit, I mean you’re shivering, and your ass literally falls off from the cold, do you really want to read some bunk science from Al Gore? Wouldn’t you want to stab Al Gore in the eye with a rusty spoon when you read “The Earth has a fever…” after you just lost your ass to the bitter cold? I’m just sayin’.
I know to dissent from the opinions of the all-knowing Goracle is a hate crime against Gaia and all, and E.L.F. hippie commandos are planning a raid on my house right now (bring it, pussies), but at what point does common sense come in and kick global warming hysterics in the face? I’m no climatological geothermal high priest to the altar of the religion of global warming, but the snake oil these hippies are selling doesn’t pass the smell test. When you can’t accurately predict the weather a week from now, don’t pretend to know what the weather will be ten years from now. Or, in other words, don’t piss down my back and tell me the climate is changing.
Forgive my cynicism, but since when have hippies been right about anything? I mean these people used to be the champions of doing copious amounts of drugs, listening to shitty music, and shagging anything with a hole and a heartbeat. I don’t trust ‘em. They vilify developed nations as being the rapers of the Earth, but they fail to see the fact that the third-world, shithole, “developing” nations pollute the most. And in their eco-insanity, the hippies fight the exportation of modern technology that could clean up these shitholes. When the founder of Greenpeace quits because his little rabble of jolly eco-pirates became raving lunatic commies, that should tell you something.
The problem is that these disingenuous assclowns have an ulterior motive. Be it Marxism like what you see with Greenpeace, or good old fashioned greed like you see with the Goracle, they’re using these environmental concerns as a vehicle to push other agendas. That sets off my bullshit detector.
Well, I will say this about old uncle Al. He is a charitable bastard. He plans to donate all the proceeds from this new book, titled “Our Choice”, to charity. That’s right, he’ll be giving all that money to the Alliance for Climate Protection. Pay no attention to the fact that the chairman of the board of directors for the Alliance for Climate Protection is Al Gore.
Insert pithy comment about JumpOut’s law enforcement humor blog You Should Be Tasered here ________
2004–2010
20 responses so far ↓
1
Angie
// Mar 26, 2009 at 11:48 am
Maybe global warming was responsible for that 93-year-old man here in Michigan who froze to death inside his home 2 months ago when they shut off his power off – even though he had left the money to pay the bill on the table:
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/.....arks-anger
It could just be me, but I’ve seen more than a few Michigan winters – and this is the coldest I remember, even after putting a new roof, doors, and insulation on my house last summer. Propane for my furnace costs an arm and a leg, so we kept it set at 65 and used electric space heaters…. while King Barry had the Oval Office warm enough to grow orchids.
Give them a kick for me, too, JO, k?
2
JumpOut
// Mar 26, 2009 at 12:22 pm
You got it.
3
Les James
// Mar 26, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Don’t know what you’re all so worried about. We all died over 20 years ago. I know this because the same experts told us that if we didn’t stop using oil and stop over-populating the world, and start re-cycling everything, and stop acid rain, and stop deforestation, and something about global cooling, and, and, and,… we’d all be dead in 10 years. That was over 30 years ago.
We didn’t do it, so we must have perished. The problem is, even death doesn’t stop taxes.
4
Eric
// Mar 26, 2009 at 12:54 pm
The Norks and Irani’s will soon be solving the ‘warming’ problem with a nice 10 year nuclear winter. My only hope is they take out our entire retarded government and the 52%’ers.
5
Les James
// Mar 26, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Nuke the ‘tards! Nuke the ‘tards! That beats nuking the moon any day.
6
Angie
// Mar 26, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I ran across that some while back, showing how the doomsayers were moaning about global cooling back in the day. In high school it was all about our ozone hole (I never hear about that anymore, either), then it was global warming and now it’s just climate change.
Algore stole footage from that movie The Day After Tomorrow, so he must have stolen that Dennis Quaid line about global warming causing global cooling and that’s how we got “climate change.” I guess he didn’t steal big enough, though, since Dennis eventually got around to climate “shift.” I don’t think I’ve heard Algore say that one (yet).
7
Elm
// Mar 26, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I’d like to plant my carbon footprint firmly up Al Gore’s ass.
8
Tyler D.
// Mar 26, 2009 at 2:54 pm
+1 to Elm’s comment.
9
USA_Admiral
// Mar 26, 2009 at 8:37 pm
+2 to Elm’s comment.
10
Chris C
// Mar 26, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Gore’s carbon credit companies must not be making money if he needed to write another book.
The worst part is even when you show people actual facts they still think you are wrong. I have a graph on my blog that clearly shows we are not warming anymore, based on the official stats.
I showed it to a co-worker on their blackberry and they said that can’t be right, can’t be true.
Here’s the chart by the way.
Someone please show me how the hell you trend that info up? That is one hell of a spin.
Worse yet, those stats don’t actually have a temperature. It’s always published as a deviation from a mean. You have to take it one step further and convert the deviation to an actual temperature yourself.
Much easier to fool people that way.
The mean by the way is the thirty-year period of 1961-1990, 14 C or about 57 F. Any deviation they speak of is based on that.
Based on that, the formula for conversion from mean deviation to temperature is:
deviation + 14=temperature.
Yes, folks it is that simple. They want us to think all of this is too complex for our so-called puny conservative brains but it is not.
On a side note the mean from 1850-2008 is lower then the golden version: 13.82 C. You’d think they want to go with the lower number.
But they don’t because of one sticky problem: the deviation against that mean is: -.00025. Yes that’s point zero zero zero two five.
Also, using a mean that does not comprise the entire dataset is not legitimate according to the rules of math.
But again they make things up and break the rules of math because it disproves the fact that in the period of 1850-2008 the climate has been up and down short-term but pretty even long-term.
There is no climate problem but of course we know that.
11
Eric
// Mar 27, 2009 at 7:38 am
.00025, hmm, is it a coincidence that this is the same persentage of CO2 that human activity has added to the atmosphere in the last 400 years, or so? Oh wait, it should be HALF THAT.
12 Moron Of The Month #3 Revealed | The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns // Apr 3, 2009 at 8:20 pm
[...] is the reason for his latest need for profit as he shills out another self-righteous, ego-inflating book on global warming: I know Al Gore likes to think of himself as the smartest man alive, and the media likes to gargle [...]
13
Clay
// Nov 7, 2009 at 6:07 pm
To author:
Do you know how ignorant and dumb you sound?
Global Climate Change has nothing to do with “believing.” How can you even try to argue 99% of the scientists on the planet? While there’s no doubt it can be difficult to be taught science by a political figure, there is NO ARGUMENT against global warming. Ya its still cold, you just don’t even understand what he means by warming. A few degrees warmer to most of us sounds pretty awesome, until all the ecosystems we rely on to live begin to break down.
I wish the people who don’t “believe” in global warming would all put their money where their mouth is and see how funny it is when we’re all continuing to live peacefully with the planet and you’re all stuck trying to power your inefficient AC units with all the gas you bought and started storing in your garage when everyone started to switch over to actually intelligent forms of energy.
If you were smart and read with any kind of open mind, you would learn that not only would a mass shift towards sustainability create millions of jobs and help ensure our future, efficiency makes everything cheaper! For you too! You are basically arguing for the sake of being stubborn, and the only thing you have to gain is lower quality air and water, higher energy prices, and wishing in 50 years you had taken that trip to Patagonia to see the glaciers that will soon seize to exist.
You’re ignorant because it’s easier to write about other people who you can bash because you know they won’t come at you when they have way more legitimate issues to deal with.
And hippies? As a relatively open-minded and whole-hearted person, so i think, and one who according to your definition of hippies is in no way fighting technology exportation, “i am a mech engineer student,” the hippies sound WAY smarter than you! Bad music? Well that’s a good judgement of intelligence, when half of the fucking collegiate population listens to tween bopping retard tech-boosted girls, thats hardly an argument. The drugs? Like the “elite” members of society haven’t developed a greater need for pill popping to deal with the most REDICULOUS illnesses. Though i no longer smoke it other than on occasion, marijuana has had a million times better effects on the population when compared to tobacco or alcohol. The sex part? Maybe you just need to get some?
You’re trying to argue with science. PROVEN SCIENCE. Why don’t you argue with gravity or something a little simpler to wrap your mind around. The hippies figured this our LONG before our technology did; the concept that we have to care for our earth, because here is what you completely fail to understand:
99.9999% (that is an exact rounded factual statistic) of all species to ever exist on earth, have eventually gone extinct. Its not about protecting the environment. Its about using it in a way that will allow us to continue to live! The earth will continue to exist LONG after we are gone. The way we live now is proven a completely unsustainable way.
I’ll give you a quick breakdown. you can bash it or whatever you want, but if you read it maybe something will click in your head and you’ll realize how ignorant youve been.
Until the industrial revolution, world population never exceeded 1 million. Since then, its grown 6 fold. We discovered evergy that had been stored by the sun millions of years ago. Until that point, the sun itself was the only energy we had to grow our food and survive. The world was in balance, and human population was at a sustainable level. Once we discovered fossil fuels, we developed with an advantage over every other organism on this planet: not having to rely solely on the sun for energy. This created an unnatural balance. Now, more people are hungry than ever before, more diseases exist than ever before, and the air we breathe is dirtier. If you want to have to live with all robotic parts to be able to survive on this planet than thats fine for you, but i like being human.
You have no argument other than the fact that you don’t like gore. Why don’t you write a book about it if you actually care as much as your sadistic comments seem to reflect. Instead of deleting this post, why dont you try to refute a single thing ive said and try to form a real argument. You’re the pussy, hiding from actual knowledge.
14
Clay
// Nov 7, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Leave a comment or the terrorists win. You think you’re joking, but the more i read your writing the more i realize youre on of those people that buys in to all the bullshit. Enough said. Say something intelligent, i dare you.
15
Angie
// Nov 7, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Hey, Clay?
POT, MEET KETTLE.
Dude, I totally got through like 3 lines of the friggin book you wrote up there. Intelligent speaking (or writing) also includes being concise – oh, and not insulting your readership.
Duh.
*Yet another leftist wiener who does NOT understand the meaning of SATIRE….
16
Les James
// Nov 8, 2009 at 1:10 am
Thanks Angie. You said it all.
It’s like I’ve observed before, these types can’t tell the difference between satire and the news. To them it’s the same thing. No wonder when they feed on the MSM. They’re starving to death on the empty lines and content devoid drivel that’s spoon fed to them by those who call themselves journalist, but in fact are mimics for the fascist, Nanny Staters.
There, that ought to cause a bit of a fuss. I’d be willing to bet Clay can’t even tell he’s been baited. Any takers?
17
Chris C
// Nov 8, 2009 at 4:59 am
Wow Clay that was a 770-word response.
How long did it take you to write that, or did you copy-and-paste from some moonbat website?
18
Clay
// Nov 8, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Satire vs. the News?
First of all we’re talking about a book, not the news.
No it took me about 15 minutes to write that.
Been baited? You think i could care at all about being “trapped”
Lastly, as satirical as it may be, writing such nonsense about such an important issue is only pushing us in the wrong direction. So you think you’re all intelligent making behind the curtain jokes? What about all the other idiots who read these stupid blogs and actually believe it.
How can you argue about something and have no motives to progress in either direction?
Insulting my readership? Is it really an insult to correct a hideous attempt at satire about the most ridiculously NOT FUNNY problem we are facing. I guess it’s good someone attempts to make light of such a sad example of man’s stubbornness.
Its one thing to be satirical of a political figure, another of the global catastrophic time-bomb that is climate change.
19
Chris C
// Nov 9, 2009 at 9:59 pm
“What about all the other idiots who read these stupid blogs and actually believe it. ”
I think a quote from the XM radio jocks Opie and Anthony is very fitting here: “You don’t go to CNN for dick jokes; don’t come here for hard hitting journalism.”
20
Angie
// Nov 9, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Are you gonna tell us a dick joke, Chris? Make sure it’s a good one. I haven’t heard any good jokes in a while, so nearly all of my amusement comes in the form of Les’ photoshop skills.
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