Image Credit: Pengrin
The Flame War Parody made a rousing debut! Apple Pie was declared more American than Mom in a heated and controversial vote. Sorry Mom, but you’re just not American enough.
RT - Chief Mongress took the lead, noting that “my mom is the daughter of an immigrant.”
Joining in the consensus that Apple Pie is more American was part-time Radioactive Liberty correspondent, and head fisherman of Angry Seafood, ChrisC.
Chris had the most logical and well reasoned argument in favor of Apple Pie, noting:
Apple pie because you can have sex with it. Ok, I guess you could plow your mom but that would be way too weird and wrong. Go for the pie.
Skul threw away his vote, opting for third party candidate, Pumpkin Pie.
Rich J seemed to side with Apple Pie as well, but his vote was a hanging chad. He belligerently protested, “Your mom knows what kind of pie I like.” Ultimately, it went to the Supreme Court to rule on how this vote should be counted.
VapmireKlown was the first to really stir things up, boldly declaring that “Apple Pie is a PINKO COMMIE FAG!!!!!!!!” Von took the bait and returned the volley, defending the honor of Apple Pie, and hurling the gay label right back at VKlown, who responded by trying furiously to pray the gay away.
Skul proceeded to throw away yet another vote, this time opting for the Ron Paul of the debate, baseball.
Pope Terry seemed confused, and went on an anti–Swedish tirade. Don’t blame him, though. He is a floppy-eared Australian, and doesn’t understand the intricacies of American Politics.
Swinging to the controversial side of things, RT - Chief Mongress and Kate teamed up to voice their disdain for America by vehemently denouncing pie in all it’s forms. Even though the female participants agreed that Apple Pie was indeed more American, they could not help but show their contempt for it.
Monday, the decision came down from the Humor-Blogs.com Supreme Court as Chief Justice Diesel ruled Apple Pie “would never run off with an insurance salesman from Duluth.”
Reports are coming in that JT has plans to protest the vote count in Ohio. No word yet on whether VampireKlown, in FLorida, will join in the protest.
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2004–2008
15 responses so far ↓
1
Rosemary
// Dec 4, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Hey dude. What’s up? Did you hear about the court case of Ramos and Campeon being heard yesterday? I cannot find any links to it! Please help me. I know if anyone can find them, it would be you.
2
von
// Dec 4, 2007 at 3:41 pm
WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!!>?
3
Rickey Henderson
// Dec 4, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Apple pie rocks for this reason:
when served apple pie, one has the option of screaming “A LA MOOOOOODE!!!!” at the top of their lungs.
Wait staffs at restaurants love this sort of thing.
4
Skul
// Dec 4, 2007 at 4:40 pm
The vote was freaking rigged I tell you.
Why the great effort to excude Pumpkins and Cherrys?
Afraid of other fruits perhaps?
I demand baseball win!
5
Chris C
// Dec 4, 2007 at 7:52 pm
I think my reasoning was not retarded enough. Can’t wait to see the next one hehe.
6
RT
// Dec 4, 2007 at 9:56 pm
I don’t remember voting for apple pie.
7
Rhubarb Pie
// Dec 4, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Apple pie is a weenie.
8
Pope Terry
// Dec 5, 2007 at 1:30 am
Oh come on I cant help it if I get confused, I’m still getting over my last bout of head trauma.
9
Vampirklown
// Dec 5, 2007 at 10:18 am
I in fact do rebuke the findings in this “argument” as I have it on good authority that multiple people poled have had sexual relations with said pie. I call for a recount
10
jt
// Dec 5, 2007 at 12:39 pm
You mean we were supposed to count something?
11
richj
// Dec 5, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Johnny Appleseed was a dirty hippy. Apples are a anti-American dirty hippy conspiracy. I’m changing my vote to MILF, I mean, Mom.
12
Vampirklown
// Dec 5, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Here, Here. Although I am willing to concede that banging a milf on a table covered in apple pie
is well, what the founding fathers would have wanted.
13
Fiar
// Dec 5, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Indeed. Thomas Jefferson has just shed a tear of pride.
14
Chris C
// Dec 5, 2007 at 5:21 pm
In a bit of irony Johnny Appleseed used to have s3x with his mom because he actually hated apple pies.
True story.
15
Vampirklown
// Dec 5, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Wait a minute does this mean if you bang your mom your anti-American. Ah not that I’m worried or anything I was just asking for a friend is all
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