… Only if you’re a sub-retarded Hollyweird writer would you think that.
With all the evidence to the contrary, like: Jayson Blair, Fauxtoshopped pictures that add in more smoke, staged fauxtos of Israeli “atrocities,” fake but accurate National Guard documents, et cetera, et cetera.
Passing through the living room the other day, some movie or TV show was on. I don’t know what it was, but it had cut-rate acting, and no doubt, an insipid and tedious plot.
How do I know that the movie sucked? It only took a few seconds of the pathetic acting and hack writing to convince me.
Woman: You’re a reporter. You’re supposed to report facts, not conjecture and innuendo. You’re supposed to be able to back up those facts with evidence and corroboration.
Reporter: Do you think I would have reported that if I didn’t have my facts straight?
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Stop! My sides are splitting! “News” reporters report facts? The BBC says no. In fact they are apologizing for reporting factually correct information.
The BBC apologized this week for referring to Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, and promised not to repeat “the mistake,” following a complaint by four British organizations. [H/T Misha]
That’s right, the “News” actually reports accurate information for once, and they are publicly and formally retracting because Islamic Rage Boy is threating and all night CarBQ Block Party™.
I quit! I give up. I can’t parody this shit anymore when the Lunatics running the Asylum insist on making themselves look more ridiculous than I could ever hope to do.
How am I supposed to write for Humor-Blogs.com when the Reality Freebased Community keeps out doing anything I could possibly come up with?
2004–2008
12 responses so far ↓
1
Uber
// Jun 22, 2007 at 1:04 pm
This is what I’ve been sayin’! They’re making this oh so very, very difficult.
CarBQ, though? That’s definitely an original funny!
2
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 22, 2007 at 4:41 pm
They know if they report false information and fix their “mistake” later that more people will hear, remember and believe the false information than those that hear the correction.
3
Damian G.
// Jun 22, 2007 at 5:03 pm
And did you hear how journalists contribute to liberal and Democratic causes over conservative and Republican causes 9-to-1? Shocker!
4
fmragtops
// Jun 22, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Here’s some news! I am, in fact, still alive. Lots of training for my new job is keeping me busy. I haven’t forgotten y’all.
5
Skul
// Jun 23, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Good to see you FM. Happy to hear things are working out for you.
6
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 23, 2007 at 7:50 pm
YAY! FM!!!!!
7
Chris C
// Jun 24, 2007 at 12:12 am
I hear yah on the parody difficulty lately. If the truth is stranger then fiction mantra didn’t come true every day, then it’s accusations you are copying the Onion.
Like they invented news parody.
The other day Russia’s natural gas monopoly announced that they would love to play ball on the whole global warming thing, but only if they are paid to do so.
How can we compete with the brilliance of reality???!!!
8
Wyatt Earp
// Jun 25, 2007 at 12:06 am
Who is this “FM” everyone is gushing over?
I heard the news proclaim that Philly homicides are up to 196. But that can’t be right, since the Dems are in control. Oh, never mind.
9
Skul
// Jun 25, 2007 at 1:39 pm
That’s “Frequently Moderated”. Although lately it’s been pretty Un-frequent cause the stinker hasn’t posted in a while. Guess that makes him Absently Moderated now.
10
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 25, 2007 at 8:46 pm
“A petty reason perhaps why novelists more and more try to keep a distance from journalists is that novelists are trying to write the truth and journalists are trying to write fiction.”–Graham Greene (English writer)
11
psychochick
// Jul 4, 2007 at 5:57 am
This allegation came from “The Jerusalem Post,” and it is nowhere to be found on the BBC website. That makes me kind of skeptical as to its veracity.
(wonderful blog–you rule and we should shower you with gifts)
12
FIAR
// Jul 4, 2007 at 12:06 pm
I trust the J Post more than I trust the Beeb.
Leave a Comment or the Terrorists Win!
If you're wondering how to get an icon next to your name, go to gravatar.com and sign up for a free account.
Remember, only terrorist sympathizers don't have a gravatar.