Barack In Charge
Hey someone turn up the thermostat! It’s only 80 in here. How the hell am I supposed to run this country like a Central American dictatorship if it doesn’t feel like Central America?
Miffer Preffadent?
What do you want, Rahm?
Firr, iffs abouff the econfffamy
What? Hell man, get your face out of the carpet! Damn, I love seeing my subjects prostrate on the floor in front of me, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying. Now, get up on your knees and try that again.
Mr. President, the economy is in the toilet.
You think I don’t know that? The Democratic party worked for years getting it to this point so I, Obama, Bringer of Hope and Change, could fix it.
But I thought the Republicans and George Bush were the cause, Mr. President.
You’re not the brightest compact florescent bulb in the ceiling, are you? Besides, what have I told you people about thinking? I told you to forget about it, I’m the only one who needs to do any thinking around here. But I’m feeling generous today. Do you care to guess where the idea came from to spend so much money?
Ah, the people?
Wrong, dipwad. The people are morons! Didn’t you hear all of that crap I fed them during the election? They actually believed me. The people are stupid sheep and I am Barack the Shepard, leader of the dump flocks! Only I can fix this mess! I gave Bush the ideas. It was mind control! Did you really believe he was that slow and poor of a speaker? He was waiting for me, Obama, the Puppet Master to tell him what to say.
Sir, so you do, ah… have a… solution?
Silly little man. Of course I do. I’m Barack Obama, the Magnificent. I’ve been pulling the strings of this government since I was a little boy in that madras in Indonesia.
Yes, sir. I didn’t…
Of course you didn’t. That’s why I hired you, and you never will.
But…
I hired you to make me look even more brilliant. Why do you think I keep bringing on people like Geithner, Emanuel, or Panetta . That was a good one…Panetta for the CIA. Anyway, you get the idea, don’t you?
Err, sir, I’m Emanuel…
Whatever. Don’t bother me with facts. It’s obvious you really don’t get it, do you. They’re all pawns, stooges. Dis-pos-a-ble. Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m not Dan Quayle you know. I can spell. I’m Barack, the Clean and Articulate! I showered not two hours ago. And look at my hair. Perfect. Admittedly, not Ron Blagojevich perfect. That man has some nice hair. But still, in a -not a nappy ho kind of way- perfect.
Ah…
Then there’s Hillary. I can’t wait to embarrass the pantsuits off her every time she turns around. Or maybe not. Just the thought of that makes my stomach turn. Oh, look who finally decided to show-up. Tim, I’m sooo glad you could make it.
I’m very sorry…
You certainly are. Now, are you wearing your swimsuit like I told you?
Yes, Mr. President, but I…
Shut up, Geithner. Listen, that insignificant person over there -the one on his knees- well, he’s stated the obvious. He said the economy’s in the toilet. Now, I need you to strip down to your trunks and dive in.
Sir, I’m not wearing trunks, I’m wearing a speedo.
What the…? I haven’t gotten that image of Hillary out of my mind, now you go and tell me that! Where’s the red, white and blue swim trunks I’d sent to you.
Well sir, the trunks didn’t show off my firm…
I think I’m going to be sick. Some one bring me a bucket!
But sir, the speedo is very form fitting, and I’ve been told by both Barney Frank and Larry Craig that…
Enough already! I, Barack the All Powerful have spoken! You will wear the trunks I had made out of the Betsy Ross flag, and you will dive, head first, into the economy!
Sir! No one can survive that. I’ll drown!
And you’ll be given a patriot’s funeral. I give you my word. For I, Obama, the Chosen One, has promised, and you can take that to the bank. Any of them, because soon enough, I’ll control them all!
Away with you, and on your way out, tell my secretary to get me the Bill of Rights. That colon cleanser has kicked in.
You can find more of Les James’ caustic humor and rapier wit at Sideshow Mirrors
Category: Political Humor Tags: Blagojevich, economy in toilet, Funny Pictures, Geithner, Hillary Clinton pantsuit, Humour, Obama dictator, Political Humor, President Obama satire
2004–2012
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Once again you have chosen to demean the character of the choice of the people. When are you right wing losers going to understand that you are only hurting yourselves. The vast majority of America and the World wants President Obama to raise this tired nation up and set us on the right course. He will guide us through the filthy waters left by the failed programs and deceitful dealings of the Bushit administration. Do not blame the deficit on this President, he inherited a disaster worst than the great depression and you and your kind are to blame. You should all hang your heads in shame but instead you boast, you make fun of the only one who can free us from the bonds your buddy George has forged. A new day of equality and justice is coming soon. You will no longer be able to spread your lies and make money for doing it. You are the whores of the news world. Please just go away and die.
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You know we don’t care, right George?
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My, my, my. Steve/George has wished death on Les? In his own way, didn’t he say that was a conservative’s manner? George is becoming a conservative?!
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JO- I just like to print out his comments and use them for what they are best intended. And then I flush.
Snig- You really aren’t trying to understand the rantings of blathering idiot, are you? You’d be better off trying to understand that guy who walks down the street talking to himself.
What ticks me off is that he get more comments than my post. OK fine, I’m insecure, I crave the attention. So?
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C’mon, Les, comments are not a measure of how good your post was. It’s probably everybody thought the post covered the topic perfectly, and there was nothing more to add. Now quit being such a moe.
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What does that make you, Curly?
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Snigs patpats Les.
Les, your post was marvelous, outstanding, amazing, wonderful, much appreciated for the truth it tells.
Now, for my sexual harassment reply of the day- So you’re saying Jump is bald? And he’s a cop…so he has handcuffs…and wears jackboots…and from all his posts we know he’s very testosteroney… Lawdy have mercy, I’m just gettin’ the vapors again.
This concludes Snigs’ sexual harassment reply of the day. Please feel free to file a complaint with someone who cares.
(Damnit, I really missed the usual Sunday post here. Now I’ve got all this built up snark and nowhere to aim it)
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“Do not blame the deficit on this President, he inherited a disaster worst than the great depression and you and your kind are to blame.”
Uh uh. It’s Obama’s problem now. He’s in charge so anything he does from here on out it is his fault.
You Dems cried and whined about not being in charge. Well now you are so these are YOUR problems now.
You Dems wanted the power well now you got it. Now fix everything damnit. What the hell are you moonbats waiting for?
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And didn’t the dems deregulate the banking industry anyway… isnt the financial crisis their fault.
But i’m guessing Steve wont be happy until America is a fascist state, since he doesnt seem to understand the point of people have differeing opinions to people in charge.
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To be fair Alex, the fault lies with both parties, greed by people in the private sector, and Greenspan’s notion of 100% housing as the key to keeping the engine of the economy going.
But it really started with our leaders doing nothing about manufacturing in this county way back 40 years ago.
Until we get back to making things in America then our products to the world will always be financial schemes.
In the 80′s it was junk bonds. In the 90′s it was internet stocks. In the 2000′s it was debt repacked as products.