Barack Obama Needs a New Best Friend Forever
Now that the Wright debacle is behind him Barack Obama needs a new guy pal for his mantourage. But with the radical label surrounding him, Obama needs someone who has wide appeal. It must be someone who appeals to all kinds of Democrats, especially in this time when fences must be mended.
Simply put he needs a new BFF, a new best friend forever.
Nana’s Vote
Old people vote early and often, mostly because the early bird specials start at 4pm at Bickford’s. Obama’s new BFF will have to be someone older and famous to appeal to this voting bloc. It would also help if this person could connect with young people in some way.
Sorry William Shatner, you are too dramatic.
The Gay Demographic
Obama’s BFF needs to reach this important group and it does not even have to be someone who is openly gay, just someone who has the effeminate part down. It could even be someone so ambiguous that both gay and straight people are confused as to their sexuality.
Popularity
Barack’s BFF needs to be a celebrity that everyone likes. He lost Oprah months ago and Chuck Norris is already taken. Most of the B-list is taken up by the reality shows. This part will be a tough hurdle.
I said a celebrity everyone likes Carrot Top.
Serving a Purpose
Some of Obama’s manpals don’t really bring anything to the table for his Presidential Cabinet. A BFF has to be able to do more then teach the finer points of rhetoric or build bombs. His or her purpose must address something all of us are concerned about.
There is only one person I can think of that would be perfect for the job.
He has the gay and asexual vote covered. He can attract the Boomers and old people. He might not be able to connect with today’s youth, and perhaps that is a good thing, but he is a celebrity and supports health care. He even has an afro.
Yes that is right, it is Richard Simmons.
*Editor’s note: Chris, John Edwards is Obama’s new BFF. They announced it yesterday*
What? This is not supposed to happen. It is supposed to be Richard Simmons! Then Bill Clinton was supposed be named the Vice-President to complete the Holy Trinity of Ridiculous Government!
Humor-blogs.com wants you to be their new BFF.
Chris Cameron writes this weekly column here every Thursday. You can also read his odd humor at his own blog Angry Seafood.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Barack Obama, Carrot Top, noads, Political Humor, Richard Simmons, William Shatner
2004–2012
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My pick would’ve been Ryan Seacrest.
He would have the gay vote, the old vote, and he would also have the all-elusive “We Hate Simon Cowell” vote.
But, I guess Richard Simmons, makes sense too.
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Richard Simmons scares me… Chuck Norris would have been ideal!
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Ryan Seacrest does have potential but I fear he fails the androgynous requirement. Everyone is fairly confident he has man bits in his junk drawer even though no one thinks he knows how to use them.
I fear Dicky Simmons is too high energy and gets too much attention to let the candidate be the one in the spot light.
This could prove difficult. Hey what about Clay Aiken – he could bring all those couch potatoes who are used to voting on-line for contest-shows and I understand his alleged music is popular with the blue-collared uneducated types.
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What about Ellen? She’s liberal. She dresses like a guy. She dates women and Michelle could have new friend too. I’ll bet she even bowls.
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Hmm didn’t even think of Ryan Seacrest and a Clay Aiken w/ Obama pic was actually in the first draft. No kidding
Funny, a guy can have a crazy minister and a man who was a terrorist as friends but Richard Simmons is too scary.
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I always thought that John Edwards was kind of gay.
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I have to agree with David. Richard Simmons is a little too high strung.
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