Political Humor | Barack Obama’s Comments on Small Town America

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Barack Obama’s Comments on Small Town America

A recent Rasmussen telephone poll revealed that 56% of voters “cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

The poll asked participants how they felt about Barack Obama’s recent controversial comment about “bitter Americans clinging to guns and religion.” 56% of respondents disagreed with Senator Obama’s statement about small town Americans.

The survey goes on to show that 25% of voters hate small town, gun clutching, bible thumping, xenophobes, and agreed with The Democrat Presidential frontrunner.

19% are not sure whether they hate more: America or foreigners.

In completely unrelated news, Barack Obama is trailing Senator Hillary Clinton by 20 points in the run up to the Pennsylvania Primary.

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16 Responses to “Barack Obama’s Comments on Small Town America”

  1. don says:

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    Do you people have any idea how hard it is to type while clutching my gun?

  2. Squeak says:

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    Wuts wit all dem dare big wurds n such?

  3. Fiar says:

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    I know, Don. And with a copy of the Bible in the other hand. Plus I have to bounce back and forth between strangling a foreigner and typing.

    Us small town Pennsylvanians just aren’t that good at multitasking.

  4. Alex L says:

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    ‘The survey goes on to show that 25% of voters hate small town, gun clutching, bible thumping, xenophobes’

    Wow that many people hated Charlton Heston…

  5. Fiar says:

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    Yes, Alex. I think even some of the undecided 19% hated him as well.

  6. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Barack Obama’s Comments on Small Town America [...]

  7. Chris C says:

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    I heard Wright had a tear in his eye when Obama gave that speech. The student has become the teacher…

  8. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] every year, the people of all 58 States of this embarrassing country still have not stopped clinging to their guns and bibles long enough to learn a new language. Nor have they learned the key to unlimited oil [...]

  9. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Are you a bitter American that can’t stop clinging to guns and religion? [...]

  10. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] no such thing as a ‘metre,’” declared one small town American we interviewed on the shocking [...]

  11. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] why I think Obama needs to be President. Don’t be bitter Americans, clinging to your guns and religion. Vote for Obama. Vote for [...]

  12. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] cling to their Bibles while Democrats search them for talking points. When it’s politically expedient, [...]

  13. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] don’t know about your part of the country, but here in Southeastern Pennsylvania we’re clinging to our guns and bibles, and heading into leaf control mode. As I collect together the dead leaves, it occurs to me that I [...]

  14. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Look at Barack Obama. He has been involved with some shady people but yet he is about to become President. He is a shining example of how ridiculous it is to judge anyone by the company they keep no matter how dirty or radical they are. I am also sure that anyone with Obama’s background and social circle would put that all aside and do the right thing for all of us Americans, even the ones clinging to our guns and bibles. [...]

  15. Jibmo Jamesh says:

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    OBAMA REVEALS TRUE POLITICAL AGENDA

    ______

    “Liberal? My Ass,” He Confides to Fox News

    “…But I Really Had You Guys Fired Up”

    _________

    Discloses Billions Held in Overseas Trusts;

    Mother Sole Beneficiary of Howard Hughes Estate

    ________

    Chicago (AP) November 5, 2008 – President-Elect Barak Obama told a shocked and incredulous nation that he actually is “more conservative than Genghis Khan” and that his years-long posturing as a community activist and liberal politician was a lark.

    “I just wanted to see how long I could be something I wasn’t,” he laughed. “And just to see how long I could get away with it.”

    Fox News Chris Wallace’s listened in stunned silence as Senator Obama elaborated that “with all my money, I can do whatever the f*** I want. And giving away my money to some welfare bum isn’t one of them.”

    When Wallace stammered, “But, Mr. Obama, you’ve just been elected President of the United States….”, Obama interrupted him, “If you think Reagan was a hard-nose, just wait. And,” he added looking into the camera, “you better watch your ass, Pootey Poot” in a reference to Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

    When informed of Obama’s disclosure, his former political rival Sen. John McCain said, “That Barak! I always knew him to be one for practical jokes in the Senate – planting whoopee cushions during a live C-Span feed — but this is way over the top.”

    As press reports jammed the wires with this electrifying and sudden turn of events, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) who was seen hurriedly leaving an Arlington, VA, Motel 6 declined comment while Rep. John Murtha (D-PA), leaving the same motel from a different exit, declined comment as well.

    On the financial markets, the Dow gained an unprecedented 967 points in ten minutes prior to trading being halted as the international markets absorbed the news. The S&P 500 Index rocketed…

  16. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Personal Finance Bible
    sometimes we are presented with opportunities to make money in ways that aren’t completely legitimate. It could be anything from returning a product to a store where it wasn’t purchased, to stealing something that isn’t ours and selling it. This verse talks of how important it is to have integrity, and how if you don’t have integrity, having a fortune doesn’t really matter.

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