Political Humor |

About a week ago, I was asked to look at a proposal for a new rock opera. A well meaning, middle-aged conservative met me at a local coffee shop. For the sake of privacy, I’ll call this man Sam. Over a cup of Joe, I listened to his idea for a remake of the classic Tommy, by The Who.

I’ve taken the liberty to condense the conversation and lyrics down to a manageable level.

Sam: “Les James! Wow, what an honor it is to met one of the funnest bloggers in the world.” (OK, he really didn’t say that, but I could tell he wanted to. What he really said was, “Dude, you’re late. That’s really rude.” You can see how I could get that impression.)

Les: “Thanks. You want my autograph?”

Sam: “Uh, do you think we could just look at my work instead?”

So, I put my Sharpie away. I really didn’t want to sign his bare chest anyway. The following are excerpts from the lengthy script:

Barry, The Musical

It’s a Boy
(It’s a Boy)

[Nurses]
It’s a boy, Ms. Obama, it’s a boy.
It’s a boy, Ms. Obama, it’s a boy!
A son! A son! A son!

[Fellow Travelers]
Hear the joyful celebrations in the square!
The first savior born in over 2000 years!
We’ve won! A son! We’ve won!

Do You Think it’s Alright?

[Grandmother]
Do you think it’s alright,
To leave the boy with Bill Ayers?
Do you think it’s alright;
He’s just blown up a building tonight!
D’you think it’s alright?

[Ms. Obama]
I think it’s alright, yes I think it’s alright.

2010
(1921)

[Teabaggers]
Gotta feeling 2010 is gonna be a good year,
Especially if you and me see it out together.

Yes, I think that 2010 is gonna be a good year.
We’ll rally now and see it out together.

Socialist Journey
(Amazing Journey)

Sickness will surely take the mind
Where minds can’t usually go.
Come on the socialist journey,
And see things you don’t want to know.

A vague haze of delirium creeps up on him.
Daily speeches make your mind twist and spin.
He is your leader, he is your guide.
On the socialist journey,
He’ll take you for a ride.

The Talker
[The Hawker]

[Teabaggers]
And Barry doesn’t know what praying is.
He thinks he’s Jesus and that’s the way it is.
How can we be saved?
From becoming his slaves?

Barry can you hear me?
Barry can you hear me?
Barry can you hear me?
How can we be saved?

Political Wizard
(Pinball Wizard)

He’s a political wizard
There has got to be a twist.
A political wizard,
Got such a bag of tricks.

‘How do you think he does it? I don’t know!
How can he read so well?’

He ain’t got no detractors,
Not that the press will say
Got his Chi-town posse
Behind him all the way.
Always comes out smilin’,
never takes his licks…
That half black and white kid
Sure plays mean politics.

The Acorn King
(The Acid Queen)

[Barry]
If your country ain’t all it should be now
I can fix it here.
I’ll show you what it could be now
Just give me ten years.

I’m Barry – the Acorn King.
Pay before I start.
I’m Barry - The Acorn King.
I’ll tear your world apart.

Go to The Teleprompter
(Go the the Mirror)

[Teabaggers]
I often wonder what he’s thinking.
Has he ever heard any of our fears?
Look at him at the teleprompter dreaming
What’s happening between those big ears?

[Barry]
Reading you, is like listening to music.
Gazing at you, it’s like I’m in heat
Reciting you, I’ve gain the power
I get excitement that can’t be beat!

Right behind you, I see the billions
Blazed ‘cross you, I see the glory.
From you, I get my opinions
From you, I get the story.

We’re Not Going to Take It
(We’re Not Going to Take It)

[Barry]
Welcome to my Camp,
I guess you all know why you’re here.
My name is Barry
And I became President last year

You didn’t want to follow me,
So, I’ll treat you like a pinball.
And box your ears
Pull hard on your eyelids
Then I’ll bounce out off the walls

Hey you thinking thoughts, so sorry!
I’ve got you sussed.
Hey you watching lying Fox News!
This is a bust!
Hey hung up old Mr. Right Wing,
Don’t try to gain my trust!
‘Cause you ain’t gonna get rid of me any of those ways
Although you think you must

[Teabaggers]
We’re not gonna take it
We’re not gonna take it
We’re not gonna take it
We’re not gonna take it

Les: “Let me guess, Twisted Sister jumps in with Dee Snyder wearing a dress, and starts singing, “We’re not gonna take it. No, we ain’t gonna take it. We’re not gonna take it anymore.”

Sam: “I hadn’t thought of that. What a great idea.”

Les: “Right. OK, I think I’ll be leaving now. Good luck with the project.”

More Les James can be found at Political Satire and Humor at Sideshow Mirrors and Climate Change Hoax by Mild Max