[...] it hit me. Fiar is not too far from New York City! The French visit the Big Apple from time to time! He could get a Frenchman instead! Yeah I know, gender bias. [...]

[...] eating fat-back bacon and playing hockey, don’t you? When in fact, these scheming, conniving, French speaking, bastards have infiltrated our government to its highest [...]

French roll?

Sorry couldn’t resist an easy one…

That’s just how I roll…

Jeez Augusto. Why do you have to make it sound so delicious?

>>>Show yourself you linguini spined slug!…you are a yellow-bellied, jelly-spined, gutless, surrender monkey.

I see your point with the yellow-bellied, jelly-spined and the escargot-esque qualities being home grown en France but wouldn’t they have to import the linguini and monkeys?

But now that I look more closely, I see that you have revealed their spines are linguini in a jelly sauce so that does sound French, probably Parisian.

At least the French gave Jerry Lewis a good reason to stay out of the country for months at a time.

That should be worth something.

I will celebrate this day by surrendering to another country.

Haha! Best search query that led someone here:

why Bastille Day sucks. The top ranking page for that query is France sucks screw Bastille Day. Now I’m feeling the buyers remorse. I should have used that title.

Well, at least they came to their senses and voted against it.