So it is too late for us to ask for a new republican candidate. But if Hillary Clinton can hang around with her chances hinging on some kind of ‘unfortunate accident’ happening to Obama, why can’t we have alternatives to John McCain?
Or should I say McCainatives.
M.C. Hammer
Okay, technically he isn’t a Mc but he belongs here. He could help poor people. One pair of his old Hammertime pants could cloth a family of four. Foreign policy? Dude, he has toured around the world from London to the Bay. I don’t know which bay that is but a lot of countries have them.
President Hammer…Can’t Touch This
Vince McMahon
He’s built the WWE into a huge billion-dollar enterprise. Imagine what he could do as President. Issues could be settled in the ring, like say the Iron Sheik comes back to fight John Cena. If The Sheik loses, Iran can’t build nukes. This would work out until the inevitable day Steve Austin drives onto the White House lawn in a monster truck calling Vince out while asking tourists for a “Hell Yah!”
Ronald McDonald
This one is tough. On the one hand clowns are funny, but on the other hand they scare small children. Thankfully, kids don’t vote. Well not yet but you never know with the liberals in charge of everything these days. Once they pass minor voting laws old Ronald is off the list.
John McClane
A President able to address the terrorist problem single-handedly is someone we could use. He could go into a place where there are insurgents, yell out “Yippie-kay-yay!” and the bodies would hit the floor in methodical fashion.
On a side note I’d love to see a movie where they teamed up Bruce Willis’ character with Chuck Norris’ Col. James Braddock. That would freaking rule. Maybe Braddock could be Vice President?
Doug and Bob McKenzie
What list of McCainatives would be complete without the Canadian brothers that love their beer. I think it goes without saying there will not be a return to the days of Prohibition on their watch. And if anyone gives us crap we can just tell them to take off eh! I know, there is that rule about being born here, but we were ready to repeal that law for the Terminator and he turned into a liberal.
Duncan MacCloud
Of the MacCloud clan.
This is a tricky McCandidate choice. There is no age factor because a Highlander lives forever but he would only be able to serve two terms. Or wait a hundred years and run under a different name or something.
And could the Secret Service deal with all these opposing Highlanders trying to chop MacCloud’s head off? Or what if another Highlander became the leader of a country like Iran or North Korea? That could be interesting.
So don’t tell me the Republican race is over. Not when there are still some great McChoices better then McCain.
Humor-blogs.com is a better McCainative for President then John McCain.
Chris Cameron writes this insane drivel every Thursday here at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd and strange brand of humor as his own blog, Angry Seafood.


8 responses so far ↓
1
Fiar
// May 22, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Whoops! I got so caught up in this whole planning to be away all next week that I forgot to get your post out. Sorry.
Unlike Ronald McDonald, there is no happy meal with McCain.
2
lesjames
// May 22, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I’m sure it was just an oversight, but you left out Ron McKuen. Alright, he’s McCain’s age, most likely a flaming liberal and he’s not a A list performer anymore (?), but at least he would be entertaining!
3
Chris C.
// May 22, 2008 at 11:11 pm
No worries Fiar. I’m sure the readers of RL were busy with their Memorial Day weekend plans as well.
I also left out Kristy McNichol who starred in ‘Little Darlings’, a movie about two teen girls who have a bet over who can lose their virginity first. I figured since she was an actress she probably was a Democrat.
4
Fiar
// May 23, 2008 at 5:59 am
she probably was a Democrat.
Well, so’s McCain, so what’s the problem?
5
richj
// May 23, 2008 at 9:43 am
Pinky and the Brain ‘08!
On second thought, I guess we’ve kinda had that since 2000.
Ok, lets just go with Dick, then.
Dick ‘08!
6
Dave
// May 23, 2008 at 10:19 am
How about Ewan McGregor, aka young Obi-Wan Kenobi and the heroin addict Mark Renton in Trainspotting? I’ve researched this guy and he doesn’t have a crazy reverend!
7
RT
// May 23, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I vote for Duncan! The watchers alone are more powerful and smarter than the FBI and CIA combined! (Not to mention that Duncan is HAWT!)
8
Jeff
// May 24, 2008 at 3:39 pm
These are good. I could easily see Bruce Willis, er I mean John McClane in da house. Although after Bill Clinton we haven’t had any hosers in there since, so maybe Bob and Doug would be a good fit too.
Otherwise I would like to nominate Paul McCartney, and then maybe we’d all be amazed.
Great post.
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