Washington, DC (AP) Despite the pending house vote today and fearing that Congress, left to it’s own devices, could not correct the country’s current fiscal course, Bush took action.
In a desperate move, very early this morning, The President called upon the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) to help bring an end to the financial crisis that -without a huge infusion of capital- would have toppled mortgage giants Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac. This is the same train wreck in the making that has brought down major banking and insurance icons, and caused panic on Wall Street.
In a 3 AM call placed from his bedside phone, Bush urged the sleepy society’s board to take immediate steps to aid the ailing economy. Later in an interview with partisan, extreme right-wing lap dogs at the Wall Street Journal, he reveled the content of that call. “Being a lame duck got me pontifafying ’bout animals,” he told the Journal. “You know, those animals that can’t defendicate themselves.”
When asked how the SPCA could possibly help the worse banking failure since the Great Depression, Bush replied, Government and corporate leaders have failed the American people. We’ve screwed the pooch repeatedly on this one and that’s animal abuse.” He added, “Once the public understands the ramificational aspects of this horrendiferous act, Congress will be forced to do the right thing. Mission Accomplished.”
The SPCA’s board of directors could not be reached for a comment.
More of Les James’ factual reporting and other crap can be found at Satire and Military Humor at Sideshow Mirrors.
2004–2008
16 responses so far ↓
1
David
// Oct 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm
You’ve really nailed that “Bushism Generator” word generatal function thingy.
I was hoping he would reveal the substance of the conversation but it really is more like W to revel in the fact that he could figure out how to use that phone at 3 am
Great post - Cheers
2
Fiar
// Oct 3, 2008 at 2:10 pm
David, take it easy. The poor guy isn’t here to defendicate himself.
3
Les James
// Oct 3, 2008 at 2:45 pm
If anyone defendicates around here, I’m not cleaning it up.
4
Insolublog
// Oct 3, 2008 at 7:11 pm
We will ALL wind up cleaning it up.
5
RT
// Oct 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Well, they can all go ramificate themselves.
6
Chris C
// Oct 3, 2008 at 11:12 pm
It’s funny, when Bush makes up words he reminds me of the Oswald Bates character on In Living Color except it’s almost opposite of a malapropism (the substitution of an incorrect word for a word with a similar sound, usually to comic effect).
7
Alex L.
// Oct 4, 2008 at 2:17 am
Is there lipstick on that pig??
8
Jr
// Oct 4, 2008 at 9:14 am
Bush may be able to put lipstick on this pig but it’s sort of like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped and unless he can come up with a plan that kills two birds with one stone, I fear our goose has been cooked.
9
jody
// Oct 4, 2008 at 10:03 am
Here’s some more bailout humor - a really funny song about the Wall Street mess. Anything to lighten up a grim topic: Bailout song
10
Les James
// Oct 4, 2008 at 10:25 am
There was lipstick on that pig but it has worn off due to all of the ass kissing.
11
RT
// Oct 5, 2008 at 4:53 am
Pigs are kissing donkeys, now?
I think Old Mac Donald needs to know what it going on in his barn yard.
12
Skul
// Oct 5, 2008 at 8:18 am
I was hoping the SPCA would provide free neutering for the legislature. Lord knows, we don’t need those people to procreate.
13
Les James
// Oct 5, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Lipsticked pigs kissing donkeys, horses escaping, legislators being neutered, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together -mass hysteria!
14
RT
// Oct 5, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Well, if they still can’t do anything about the Penacoli and gerbils issue…
15
JumpOut
// Oct 6, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every dollar bill in your wallet exploding at the speed of light. Total economic reversal.
16 The Obama-Biden Plan & New National Anthem | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Nov 3, 2008 at 10:17 am
[...] selection of funny pictures about Election 2008, featuring Barack Hussein Obama and Joe Biden by political humorist and photoshoper extraordinaire Les James, who’s own blog of conservative humor and satire at [...]
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