My car hasn’t been performing as well as it used to. So, I called the mechanic to schedule an appointment to have it looked at, and fixed. I told him what the symptoms were, and he told me it sounds like my car needs a tuna.
I thought, “That sounds pretty simple. I bet I can do it myself.” Plus, then I’ll save on the $647,000/hr. of labor I would be charged. I’m not particularly knowledgable about cars, but I figured, I have a website and upwards of 6 readers, and one of them must know about cars, and be willing to offer instructive assistance.
One thing is, do I need a fresh catch, or is the canned variety acceptable? If the canned variety is OK, does it have to be the solid albacore, or can I use the cheapo kind, like I mix in the doggies’s food. I guess I should stick with the good stuff. I wouldn’t use cheapo oil, so I shouldn’t use cheapo tuna either. I assume I should use the kind that comes in oil, not water, unless of course, I need to use a fresh catch tuna.
I also can’t figure out where the tuna goes. I see places for oil, brake fluid, power steering fluid, anti-freeze/coolant, but no “add tuna.” Where’s it go? I would really appreciate any input anyone can offer.
I just thought of something. I may have heard him wrong. What if he said I need a turnip? Maybe I shoud just pay the guy the $647,000/hr to do it.
Suggestions?
- Passionate America Linked with Carnival of Comedy Idol
2004–2008
14 responses so far ↓
1
fmragtops
// May 23, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I think the tuna goes in the AC vents, and the turnip goes in the muffler.
2
von
// May 23, 2006 at 5:23 pm
turnip justa little differnt an tuna. tuna mean you gots summin wrong wit da radyo, anna antanna mite be broke.
Turnip meanin’ you gotta opun uppa hood. Summin’ wrong witta engin’.
3
jt
// May 24, 2006 at 10:27 am
Just check you headlight fluid levels. That should fix it…
4
FIAR
// May 24, 2006 at 11:22 am
Where’s the Headlight fluid go? I should just take it to the guy.
5
Mike
// May 24, 2006 at 12:07 pm
I bet you drive one of those SUV gas guzzlers that only gets 2 mile to the gallon. Serves you right for hating our environment. You probably want to invade Alaska and kill the caribou so we can take their oil. Or do you want to set up oil rigs in the gulf? No wonder you hate tuna so much. Maybe if you bought a hybrid like anyone else who considers themself a good citizen of the United Nations you wouldn’t have this problem. Have you ever considered that? Or are you too busy counting the oil companies’ profits?
6
fmragtops
// May 24, 2006 at 12:24 pm
You know it!
7
Sssteve
// May 24, 2006 at 5:05 pm
I think I answered yes to all those questions from Mike! HA
I don’t like tuna because it reminds me of a bad date once!! I think I paid $647,00 for that tuna too!
8
The Cranky Insomniac
// May 25, 2006 at 1:21 am
You sure it’s not just operator headspace and timing?
9
jimmyb
// May 25, 2006 at 5:05 am
Heck, you should get lobster or crab legs for that price!
10
fmragtops
// May 25, 2006 at 8:53 am
It could be a short between the driver’s seat and steering wheel.
11
FIAR
// May 25, 2006 at 9:12 am
I’m short, so I have plenty of headroom, Cranky.
Mike, Not an SUV, (6 cylinder sedan) but I’m all in favor of invading Alaska and killing the caribou.
Jimmy, can I do that? I definitley like crab legs better than tuna.
Yes, FM, I am short between the driver’s seat and the steering wheel.
12 Passionate America // May 25, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Carnival of Comedy Idol…
Welcome to the show! Im Wild Bill and Ill be your host today for the 56th edition of the Carnival of Comedy……
13
SeanS
// May 25, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Oh FIAR, the CoC was cruel, indeed.
Apparently some people don’t care for feigned ignorance. Now what did I do with that can of albacore…
14
Wild Bill
// May 25, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Sorry I wasn’t trying to be cruel. This was the first Carnival I have hosted. I’ll crawl back into my hole now.
Doesn’t the tuna go in the radiator?
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