My car hasn’t been performing as well as it used to. So, I called the mechanic to schedule an appointment to have it looked at, and fixed. I told him what the symptoms were, and he told me it sounds like my car needs a tuna.

I thought, “That sounds pretty simple. I bet I can do it myself.” Plus, then I’ll save on the $647,000/hr. of labor I would be charged. I’m not particularly knowledgable about cars, but I figured, I have a website and upwards of 6 readers, and one of them must know about cars, and be willing to offer instructive assistance.

One thing is, do I need a fresh catch, or is the canned variety acceptable? If the canned variety is OK, does it have to be the solid albacore, or can I use the cheapo kind, like I mix in the doggies’s food. I guess I should stick with the good stuff. I wouldn’t use cheapo oil, so I shouldn’t use cheapo tuna either. I assume I should use the kind that comes in oil, not water, unless of course, I need to use a fresh catch tuna.

I also can’t figure out where the tuna goes. I see places for oil, brake fluid, power steering fluid, anti-freeze/coolant, but no “add tuna.” Where’s it go? I would really appreciate any input anyone can offer.

I just thought of something. I may have heard him wrong. What if he said I need a turnip? Maybe I shoud just pay the guy the $647,000/hr to do it.

Suggestions?

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Category: Pointless Nonsense