Oh sure, it sounds logical. After all, the primary task of a cashier is to take money and return correct change. Clearly my logical way of thinking has a fatal flaw - Logic.
On my lunch break, I stopped at the convenience store to make a quick purchase.
The first clue that something was wrong came when the cashier first spoke to me. I don’t know what language it was, but it wasn’t American English. It wasn’t English English. It wasn’t even that jibberish that Australians try to pass off as English.
It sounded something like, “Buzzle gorben fruzen koala.”
On second thought, maybe she was Australian.
The purchase total was $8.63, so naturally she said, “ankle wallaby dunken.” In her native tongue that must mean, “eight dollars and sixty three cents.” I reached forth and handed her a $20.
Where ever her native country or planet is, they must not be used to handling American currency. She looked at me like I had handed her a dry cleaning receipt, rather than cash.
Thanks to modern technology, cashiers don’t even need to calculate the difference between the amount tendered, and the amount required. The machine says right there that the change is $11.37.
Easy enough. A $10, a $1, a quarter, a dime, and two pennies. Right?
Not for our planet hopping convenience store clerk.
She seemed confused about what to give me. Her hand bounced from one part of the till to the next, never selecting a cash amount. Finally she pulled up two fives and a one. Good enough. 37 cents to go.
Still, utterly confused about what to do, she reaches for dimes, and eventually grabs a quarter instead. Then what? Nickles - No pennies. Dime?
I look in my hand: A quarter. a nickel, a penny. “Uh, that’s 31 cents. It should be 37,” I tell her. I brace myself for the convulsions that I’m positive she’s about to break into. She reaches towards the pennies.
“Crap,” I think, “Looks like I’ll be heading home with a burlap sack full of pennies.” She hands me a dime. I give back the nickel and tell her, “one more penny.” The grand mal seizure appears to be only nanoseconds away when I finally get the penny and have my correct $11.37 in hand.
I’m not sure what the qualifications required for “convenience store clerk” are, but they do not seem to include rudimentary grasp of the English language…
Or money counting abilities.
Humor-Blogs.com short-changes me all the time.
Recommended: Dirt
I Broke It You Bought It
It’s Comcastic!
2004–2008
13 responses so far ↓
1
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 28, 2007 at 8:44 pm
How did you not laugh? I would’ve laughed. Not mean, but at the craziness of the situation. If it was a privately owned store, she was family.
2
Wild Bill
// Jun 28, 2007 at 8:58 pm
I would have handed her the pennies and said those should be nickels and if she gave them to me told her to keep the change. She would have had a joygazam and thought she was rich.
Spreading happiness is my job, lol
3
Tyler D.
// Jun 28, 2007 at 11:05 pm
+1 on Bill’s idea.
4
Translator
// Jun 28, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I hate pennies.
5
Damian G.
// Jun 28, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Thanks for the defence, FIAR. You’re a pal.
And for the record, if you don’t like Conservathink, then you hate America.
Because I’m 99.99% right. And I round up. We’re similar like that.
6
FIAR
// Jun 28, 2007 at 11:49 pm
I hate pennies too.
Damian, you are right about all those Unpatriotic, Terrorist supporting, Conservathink haters. I think your .01% wrongness is your wacky Canadian spelling.
7
Damian G.
// Jun 28, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Hey, the British spellings came first!
Screw Noah Webster, that illiterate HACK!!!
My .01% wrongness is that I care too much.
8
eric
// Jun 29, 2007 at 12:08 am
What scares me more is this woman probably votes, will most likely breed, and her offspring will vote.
Anyway, I would consider it an honor and a privilege if you would add my blog “The Tygrrrr Express” http://www.blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com to your list of linked sites if you feel the quality is high. If this is request is redundant, my bad in advance.
I came across your blog through the Rottweiler’s website, since I enjoy his writing.
Happy summer.
eric
[Sorry Eric. This got caught in the spam trap. Obviously it's been released. ~ FIAR]
9
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 29, 2007 at 12:22 am
I like $20 bills. Lots of ‘em. Unfortunately, I have a lot of pennies and no twenties.
10
jimmyb
// Jun 29, 2007 at 1:22 pm
The reason she couldn’t count is because the Rethuglicans cut education funding. We just need to triple our spending on government run education.
Heh.
11
Skul
// Jun 29, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Yippee!! We got a Tygrrrr by the tail!
12 Radioactive Liberty - Useless. Worthless. Pointless. » Dirt // Jul 9, 2007 at 11:36 pm
[...] Cashiers Should Be Required to Have Basic Money Handling Skills I Broke It You Bought It It’s Comcastic! This entry is filed under Pointless Nonsense. You [...]
13 guaranteed life insurance // Jun 11, 2008 at 11:29 am
guaranteed life insurance…
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