Caution: The following post contains mean spirited sarcasm and black humor.   Liberals should not attempt to read this without the help of  a trained, conservative guide, restraints and amble medication.  Side effects may include, nausea, vomiting, uncontrolled anal discharge, bleeding from the eyes and ears, increased inter-cranial pressure, screaming fits of rage, lacerations caused from broken keyboards and monitors, spotty hair loss, genital warts, and very rarely, a chuckle.

I Wish I Could Have Met You

Today is Martin Luther King Day or as a good friend and pastor likes to call him, Martin Lucifer King. Oh, was that politically incorrect? Try this. Go back and you’ll see he was just another bleeding heart, liberal that got in the way of a speeding mass of lead.

Still, his death sure opened the doors for his family didn’t it? Funny how that works. JFK buys it, and now his daughter thinks her Senate seat is paid for.

Rumor has it, that Caroline K and MLK the third are going to record a duet. They’ll be covering Filter’s Hey Man, Nice Shot. All of the profits will go to their bank accounts favorite charities.

Those crazy kids.

The Rule of Three Initials

RFK murdered. JFK murdered. MLK murdered. W only used his middle initial. Nobody knows who GWB is, so by the Rule of Three Initials, he was pretty safe.

However, not all of the one or two initial Presidents are immune from close calls with  sudden on-set heavy metal poisoning syndrome.

Squeaky Fromme  tried to off Ford -so ineffectual a President, he managed not to screw-up the country any further, that he should be considered a Republican hero.  And then there’s John Hinckley Jr.  His poor marksmanship is cause enough for a statue in the far-left hall of fame. By missing Regan, he was instrumental in getting the Brady Bill passed. Thanks, John.

No wonder Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t want his middle name mentioned.  LBJ and FDR dodged that bullet but why take chances. Besides, what psycho’s  going to want to be remembered as the guy who got rid of BO? Unless you’re a deodorant company exec.

Now I’m not saying that profit is bad.  Far from it. A lot of individuals and organizations have made a tidy sum on the deaths of  influential people. Elvis, like a lot of other musicians and artists, are worth more now dead than when they were alive. Why not score on that? The Catholic Church -as well as many other sects- have made major bank on the backs of their dead religious figures. Some have even opened banks.

Who am I to begrudge them a little pocket change? They’re doing God’s work, right?

A Day by Any Other Name…

MKL Day, huh? Fine, he gets a day. Lincoln and Washington -arguably far more important in our country’s history- have to share one. Even Jesus only gets one day. Why do we give Martin a whole day to himself? Because we needed another holiday? I don’t thing so.  Still, don’t try to get anything done with all major institutions closed and the kids underfoot.

In celebration speeches across the nation, Obama -who already thinks he’s Lincoln- will undoubtedly be touted today as the new King.  With his coronation tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll even draw a parallel or two himself. Don’t get me wrong, I think we should celebrate this man’s life but not for the reasons most liberals would like to consider.

Some will try to tell you we commemorate this  day because he was a nice, black guy who just wanted us all to get along. [Rodney King (no relation) wasn't very original was he?] Then again, you might believe Martin Luther King died trying to right civil wrongs. Fine you can look at it that way if you’d like. As I mentioned earlier, I have a different take.

I’m going to celebrate his life (and subsequent death) in a manner that will have secularist holding their heads and wailing “Noooo!” For I believe today was intended to be a celebration for a Holy Man of God, who was struck down for his religious beliefs. That’s right, you followers of Radical Islam, today our government shut down the nation to honor a Christian martyr.

Stuff that in your jihadist hookah and choke on it.

And you that thought I was politically incorrect.

More Les James humor can be found at Sideshow Mirrors.

I think it’s high time that we admitted that the whole “War on Terror” thing is nothing more than bumper sticker sloganeering. After all, you can’t fight wars against an abstract concept, like: Oppression, slavery, tyranny, fascism, Nazism, despotism, or terrorism. How do you fight an abstract concept? You can’t.

We use the term “War on Terror” to make a “big, scary enemy” of civilization to rally the morons around our cause. Of course, our cause is really to pile up as many dead Muslim babies as we can.

Mmm. There’s just nothing that beats the feeling we get when we see a mountain of charred remains of innocent Muslim children.

No one wants the “big, scary enemy threatening them, but clearly there is no terrorist threat.

The time has come to dispose of the “War on Terror.”

Bush lied, people died.
No blood for oil.
Grim Milestones™
Support the troops by bringing them home.
Stolen election.
Culture of Corruption.
9/11 was an inside job.
Fire can’t melt steel.
PNAC.
Diebold.
Halliburton.
Abramoff.
Global Warming.
PATRIOT ACT.
Domestic spying.
Hurricane Katrina.

Are all coherent and in depth arguments that address the concerns of the American People. “War on Terror,” on the other hand, is just an empty, meaningless catch phrase. Let’s throw it on the ash heap of history.

In an appearance on ABC’s “This Week,” John MurthaFucker – traitor, liar, gutless chickenchickenpussy, military backstabber, terrorist enabler, and surrendermonkey -PA, towed the official Al Qaeda line that killing terrorists just makes more terrorists. Obviously, if this is true, it just means that we aren’t piling up the bodies fast enough.

MurthaFucker told Gulp Slurpalottajizz:

“Our presence in Iraq, our occupation of Iraq gives these people the inspiration.”

The senile assweasel also doesn’t understand which side in the conflict is which.

Murtha, chairman of the Defense Appropriations Subcommittee, also called plans by the Army’s top officials in Iraq for 2008 troop reductions, as reported by ABC News this week, “not satisfactory.”

Army Gen. David Petraeus reportedly proposes a drop in troop levels from 150,000 to 130,000 by December 2008, with additional reductions in 2009. Lt Gen. Raymond Odierno proposes having an estimated 100,000 troops remaining in Iraq by the end of 2008.

The Cowardly Congressmen added that “the first step to stability in Iraq is redeployment.” It’s not clear if he meant redeploying the retarded, illiterate, barely competent, bloodthirsty, babykillers Stuck in Iraq™ to Okinawa, or if he meant redeploying the Migrant Workers from Jordan, Syria, Iran, Yemen, and Saudi Arabia from Iraq – where they sever the heads that Iraqis won’t sever and blow up the schools that Iraqis won’t blow up – to America, where they will be granted Full Amnesty thanks to our non-existent immigration enforcement.

MurthaFucker summed up his efforts by stating,

We’re inspiring these al Qaeda to go after our troops…

Indeed he is.

H/t TAIR