Political Humor

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Category — Empowerment

The Tragedy in Tuscon

I wish to extend my sincere condolences to the victims of the despicable act of this Saturday last. The senseless murder and wounding of so many is difficult to fathom. We will ask why, but may never fully be able to comprehend. The uncertainly and unanswered questions become a part of the continuing tragedy.

In the wake of the act of this criminal, I turned to introspection. It was only this morning I thought I was able to write without a cloud of emotion. I needed the distance of time to assure my objectivity, and not respond in a knee-jerk fashion. So I have kept silent until now. For me, this was the correct response.

Those who spoke in haste or anger, in the hours following the shootings in Tucson, may live to regret those words. I certainly hope so.

I currently have three posts waiting to see the light of the small flat screen. While they are irreverent, they in no way advocate violence. To the best of my knowledge, we at Radioactive Liberty have never purposed acts of violence, and I can’t imagine we ever will. What you will read is not anti-government, but rather anti-policy. We are pro-government- as it was intended by the Founders. Still, it seems somehow wrong to publish those at this time. I will wait for a while out of respect for the dead and wounded, and their families and friends.

The postings here reflect reactions to the political environment. The three writers have created characters. These characters voice opinions that may not even be those of the writer. This is no different than the SNL troupe or other comics. Writers and actors create fictions characters to act as vehicles for humor, drama, conflict, satire, spoofs and opinions. Les James is my creation. At times he becomes the voice of those I wish to spoof, mock or criticize. Other times I speak directly through him- this is one of those times.

There is no doubt in my mind as to the guilt of Loughner. Many years from now, I expect he will be found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. This does not meet the needs of his victims or society. He is a disease, and as such needs to die.

We don’t pity animals with rabies by putting them in cages to live out their lives, neither do we take out cancer from the body and place it in a culture medium to continue its existence. A grizzly or lion that has tasted human flesh is tracked down and killed, not placed in a zoo. This individual should be treated no different. He has forfeited his life when he took those of others. I don’t advocate violence against him, I demand his elimination. There is a distinct, lawful difference.

A swift trial and a swift execution is the right and proper response to such an obvious case. There is no good to be had or great lesson to be learned from spending years and hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on this mass murder. No profit will be gained in giving him undue voice or being subjected to his protracted time on this earth. The media will remind us of this perversion as long as he draws breath. In no way are the victims or society well served under this scenario.

Some are seeking to advance political or social agendas on the backs of those who suffered at the hands of this abomination. They play upon raw emotions. I find this deplorable. Anyone who would use such tactics should continue to be exposed and publicly admonished. I know I will. If there is sickness in our society, surely it will be found in those who would exploit the loss and anguish of others for their gain.

We must remember, or come to understand, the only person responsible, accountable and culpable for this unforgivable, violent, heinous act is the perpetrator himself and as such, must pay the ultimate price. I place the blame where the blame belongs and call for a just, quick sentence. I hope you will too.

January 12, 2011   4 Comments

The Democrat Car Wreck

I ran into a liberal on Monday. Actually, it was the other way around, the lib ran into me. This is a true story. It isn’t funny, but I believe it’s worth telling.

Stuck indoors for the last few weeks -while the Pineapple Express sent one warm, wet storm after another our way- I’d contracted cabin fever.

Here in Central Oregon we’re use to snowy winters. But once in a while the gulf stream shifts in such a manner, as to allow the moisture to come in the form of cold rain and wet snow. Those gray, Seattle-type winters make me very aware as to why Democrats living on the west side of the Cascades are such a miserable lot.

Monday, we had a break in the abysmal weather, and I wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip by to get some sunshine. I jumped into my little car and took off. The 32 MPG Aspire had 241,000 mile on it, but still ran like a top. With front wheel drive and studded tires, it beat the hell out of driving my four wheel drive truck in the wet and icy conditions I knew I would encounter going over the mountains.

So, no shit there I was, minding my own business. Off to enjoy a beautiful day. Driving through slushy snow and crossing patches of black ice is not something I like to do, but it’s something I’m pretty good at. Since conditions were poor, I was going all of about 35-40 MPH, on a major highway that cuts across the Cascade Range.

Here’s where the story gets interesting. While I was carefully negotiating a long, sweeping left turn, I saw a red car -coming the opposite direction- slide across the highway, hit the guardrail and proceed at a high rate of speed, right at me.

Let’s recap. I was driving very conservatively. I’d adjusted to the current conditions, not over extending my resources or taking wild chances. I obeyed all the laws and carefully planned out my future path. In other words, doing everything right. Doing everything a good citizen should be doing in that environment. Yet, there was a car in my lane, going the wrong direction.

No matter what the driver did, their failure to read the lay of the land meant that a major crash was inevitable. Panic took the wheel in the red car. The front tires jerked frantically from side to side, but the surface was slippery. The car was now out of control, and we were going to hit head-on.

Calmly observing all of this, I knew I couldn’t brake hard, so I applied slow, steady pressure to the brake pedal. At the last second, I turned my little Aspire so the impact was on the front right side, and not square into the grill. The force of the blow sent me and my damaged property across two lanes, and straight into a snow covered guardrail.

The air bags deployed as the vehicle came to a very sudden stop. If you’re wondering, no, I didn’t die. I knew I hadn’t died, because the pain from being slammed into from the side and then impacting into the guardrail -causing the airbags to smash into my chest and face- was intense. I had difficulty hearing for a good hour.

Remember, I did everything right, but my car is gone, I’m bruised, suffered a minor concussion and can’t get rid of the headaches, but it could have been a lot worse.

The young woman who was diving the red car was very shaken-up, but aside from some scrapes on her face from the airbags, in pretty good shape. I hope she’s learned something, but if the bumper stickers on her car were any indication, she’ll most likely blame it on everything, except her own poor judgment.

I’m left to pick-up the pieces. What I’ll get for the car won’t replace it. I’ll be sore for a while, but will heal. I think the headaches will be with me for a longer time. I’ll find a way to replace what I’ve lost. Until then I’ll drive the gas guzzler. I’ll get another smaller car. It may take a while, but I will get a replacement… and it will be better than the last one.

There’s a lesson here, a teachable moment. The red car can be seen as current political policy, and driving it is Obama and the Democrat Congress… in our lane…going the wrong direction. I’m pretty sure a few Republicans are in the back seat, along for the joy ride.

I, just like most of our readers, have played by the rules. We’ve worked hard, been productive, paid our “fair share” of taxes, and asked for very little from anyone, other than to be left alone. Now, our out of control government is bearing down on us. A head-on crash is inevitable, but it’s not going to be an accident.

After the crash, we conservatives will do what we’ve always done. We’ll pick up the pieces, put them back together as best we can, and get on with rebuilding our lives. It may take a while, but we will rebuild… and it will be better than before.

On a side note, I’ve only been in two accidents. In a bizarre coincidence, I’ve only owned two small cars. Both of them met an early demise at the hands of young women who were into sharing. That is, sharing my lane. Conclusion: These women are very attracted to me when I drive a small car, or -and far more likely- Younger Women Can’t Drive!

January 24, 2010   2 Comments

To Make Money Online, You Need to Know Business and Marketing

Maki at Dosh Dosh asks readers, “What’s the best way to make money online?”

One of the things I like about Dosh Dosh is that it really covers just about every method you could use the internet as a source of income. It’s not just about blogging for money, but includes things like: membership sites, selling your own product, eBay, affiliate sales, and leveraging an existing business. It really is a site about making money online.

Maki went on to ask:

If someone came up to you and said that they wanted to know the best way to make money on the internet. What would you tell him or her? Let’s imagine that the individual in question is eager and willing to learn what is needed for real results.

He asked readers to respond as if “talking to a friend who trusts your opinion and experiences.” The “Best” way to make money was defined as, “the method that brings the greatest amount of potential income, while being practical, cost-effective and do-able.”

My response deals with the first two parts of the question. As for the last part, I don’t think I’m in any way qualified to offer advice on the “best” way to make money online. I know that I intend to use blogging as an avenue for various means of income. I’m sure the many readers will share their advice on the topic. I’m also sure that everyone will overlook a key piece of advice.

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October 4, 2007   21 Comments