Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty is proud to announce its monthly, right leaning, political humor writer’s contest, which started today, or yesterday, or whenever this gets posted.

You are vying for the honor of having your work published at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty for all to critique. The idea is to give those without a blog, a chance to see their hard work torn to shreds by the sniveling cowards who didn’t enter.

The contest is absolutely free and prizes barely exceed the entry fee. Hey, you get what you pay for.

Each month a new topic will be announced. Entrants may tender multiple submissions.

For further information and contest rules please visit the political humor writers contest page. You will also find the link in the navigation bar at the top of the page. The url is http://radioactiveliberty.com/writers-contest/

Why are you still here?  The first topic awaits.

Editorial Note from Fiar: Although the contest is not currently open to bloggers, non-blog owning frequent commenters are permitted to enter. (This would be a good time for frequent commenter RichJ to delete another blog to be compliant with the rules).

We would greatly appreciate the efforts of any bloggers who help publicize the event. You’ll probably want to offer your readers some good reasons why it’s desireable to be published on Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty, so here goes.

Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty ranks on the front page of Google for conservative political humor, and ranks on the top two pages for dozens of related terms, such as conservative satire, political humor, John McCain political jokes, global warming satire, obama 58 states, and too many others to list them all.

We also rank on the front page of the prestigious Humor-Blogs.com directory, and receive consistent traffic from StumbleUpon and other social media outlets. Needless to say, the winning entry will reach a large and highly targeted audience.

Enough of the sales copy. Spread the word or the terrorist win.
PS – Happy Independence Day

We here at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty strive to bring you the best political analysis that our collective, and vastly superior minds can bring. As a result, the logical thing to do is to compress the opinions of all 3 of our contributors into one, single, superconcentrated dose of conservative opinion.

We will be bringing this feature on a weekly basis. All participants will get about 50 or 60 words each. Please use as directed, consult your physician if you suffer from heart conditions, or suffer abdominal pain. Normal side effects include dizziness, nausea, and rectal bleeding. This week we cover:

McCain’s New Epiphany on Global Warming/Climate Change

Chris: Is McCain still running as a Republican? I thought he might have joined some hippie third party after hearing that speech. Or Al Gore hooked him up with some cash. If he doesn’t win the general election he gets my vote for Most Pandering Politician of 2008.

Fiar: First, there is no need for a dirty hippie third party. They already have the Democrats. Second, McCain is a maverick. A man of principle, who is unafraid to oppose the conservative base. Even if it’s on every, single, solitary issue. I will welcome our fourth straight Democrat President in November. Whomever that may be.

Les: Maverick, huh. Which definition fits best?

• A Marvel Comic’s Super Hero? Definitely not.
• An unbranded or feral bovine? Maybe.
• A roller coaster ride? Possibly.
• A former Senator who coined the word “Gobbledygook”? Getting warmer.
• A current Senator who use to be pro-choice? Bingo!

I have faith in an old man who can so deftly leap from bandwagon to bandwagon.

Humor-blogs.com did not consult their doctor first.

I’m pleased to announce that over the next 6 weeks, I’ll be publishing a series of essays by Les James. Les contacted me to see if I would be interested in publishing six somewhat related essays that he had written.

He calls the series “Proclamations from the Mountaintop.” I took a look, and liked what I saw.

He has a style that’s a little different from what many regular and recurring visitors here are used to. Chris and I tend to make quick, quippy observations about the most recent news, and current events. Les has more of a storytelling, long-form style. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Who are we to judge Les for his alternative lifestyle? He can’t help it. He was born that way.

Even though his style is different than the usual fare here at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty, I found his essays to be entertaining and enjoyable. I hope you will savor his work as much as I did.

Les is new to the whole blogging/addicted to your own ego on the internet thing. I don’t know what plans he has after this series has concluded, but I wish him luck, and thank him for the contribution. With any luck, he’ll be joining us among the addicted masses.

I’ll now hand over the introduction to our new friend.

Meet the Author: Les James

Original Image: Misty Mountains by wit

Having climbed some of the world’s taller peaks, I have first hand experience in the effects of decreased atmospheric pressure. In short, it assures that not enough oxygen reaches your addled brain. I’m here to tell you that there is not a wise man to be found on top of any of those I’ve visited. I suspect the rest of the mountains are the same.

The series title should clue you in as to what to expect. I’ve never claimed to be wise or an expert – I’m very suspect of so called “experts.” Instead I consider myself to be a Subject Matter Advisor (SMA). As an SMA I absolve myself of all accountability. I just advise. You make up your own minds.

Isn’t that convenient for both of us?

So enough about me. What should you expect in tomorrow’s and future instalments? Well, they are designed to be controversial. The idea is to give my slightly tweaked vision of the world around us. They are intended to be fun, but with a ring of my idea of the truth. I may well take an opposing, or way out in left field view (no political witticism intended). Just to infuriate.

You should also know that I am not a linear thinker. So don’t expect a blow-by-blow accounting or an unswerving tale – I have a hard time staying on subject. I don’t do very good research. Nor do I spend a lot of time checking facts.

This stuff comes off the top of my head and is mostly opinion. Hmm, maybe I should have been a TV or newspaper reporter. So don’t go writing to the editor decrying my errors or omissions.

I do enjoy playing with words, and also revel in sarcastic, dark, and obscure humor. I take pleasure in poking fun at subjects that I believe need a good poking. I hope you do too.

Wow! I guess it still was all about me. Then again, what did you expect? That’s what happens when you give a person with an overly developed sense of self a keyboard and a forum. Anyway, let the good times roll!

I invite the Humor-Blogs.com prowlers to welcome Les to the site.

I received an unexpected announcement earlier this week that my Mom was having surgery on her shoulder to repair a disgruntled widget, or something.

She lives by herself, so I’ve been over her place every night this week, offering food and assistance that she refuses to accept. As a result, I’m a little behind in finishing up the formatting on this week’s articles.

Chris C is back from his Moustache Mishap with an attempt to make sense of the Ohio and Texas Democrat Primaries.

Also, fellow Humor-Blogs.com member, and author of the outstandingly funny Ominous Comma, will reveal his own secret of writing humor at Humor Blogging.

Both should be up and running no later than 1pm Eastern Time. Thanks for your patience. Chris and Brent, thanks for your contributions.

Tonight I witnessed the Lunar Eclipse. Unfortunately, I have a crappy digital camera with only 3x optical zoom, and a very shaky hand, so I stole a picture instead. You can find the original and more at the National Post.

By my clock, it was a nearly complete Lunar eclipse at just about 10PM exactly. I’m in southeastern Pennsylvania, for your time zone and latitudinal reference.

Now, while it’s really awesome to see the full moon enveloped by the Earth’s shadow, it’s also a time of great sorrow. No, I don’t mean to fall into the superstitions that it’s some sign that the world will end soon, or anything uneducated like that. But there is something that happens every time there is a lunar eclipse.

Hillary Clinton feasts on an unborn child.

Let us take in this moment of cosmic wonderment, but at the same time, remember the innocent child lost at the hands of the blood demon Hillary.

Click the Humor-Blogs.com link or Hillary Clinton will feast on another child. No joke. Do you want that on your conscience?

Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty.

Here’s something that can be a fun time waster.

I was playing with the Google AdWords Keyword Tool that I learned about from How To Make Your Blog More Comprehensive Through Keyword Research on Performancing.com. The purpose of the tool is supposed to be to help you create an advertising campaign through Google’s AdWords, by helping you select relevant keywords.

I’m familiar with other keyword tools, such as the Free WordTracker Keyword tool. WordTracker allows you to enter a keyword. Then it will tell you variations on that keyword, and how many times it gets searched.

The AdWords tool does the same thing, but also indicates the “competitiveness” of the keyword. That let’s you know which ones cost more to buy for an ad campaign, and which ones cost less. You could also use it for the reverse, and build a site, post, or webpage based on this information.

But that would be using the keyword tools for profit. Here’s the fun part. The Adwords tool lets you put in the URL of your site, and calculates the keywords and keyword derivatives based on what it finds on your page. Look to the left. You’ll see that it says

How would you like to generate keyword ideas?

By default it has Descriptive words or phrases checked off. Switch the selection to Website content and the box to the right of that will switch to one that has the http:// part of a web address already filled in. Put in the URL of your site, click the Get Keyword Ideas button, and wait a minute.

When I put in the URL for Humor Blogging, it gave me Humor and many derivatives, and Blogging, plus various derivatives. Then there were some lesser keywords, like business blog, funny, funny jokes, and jokes. Pretty straightforward. Nothing unexpected.

When I put in the URL for Radioactive Liberty, that’s when it got fun. Apparently Radioactive Liberty is primarily about Santa Claus, Santa, Merry Christmas, Letter to Santa, Argument, Prediction and Christmas. It’s supposed to be about political humor!

I didn’t realize we were so festive with Christmas Cheer. It actually comes up with a pretty extensive list, so I won’t name even all of the top level words it gave me. It did eventually mention Bush, Election, Presidential Election, and Political Blogs.

Since this isn’t really an SEO (Search Engine Optimization) blog, I’m pretty sure many of you are not highly focused on targeting a specific keyword to dominate, so I bet you will have as wildly unexpected results as I did for this site.

Try it out, and offer your top results in the comments.

I’m going to be away from the computer for most of the time until at least Wednesday. I suggest the following:

But, if you must spend time on the internet, then why not drop me some links. Let me know what you’ve found, or written that is funny, interesting, inspiring, or entertaining.

Let me emphasize, don’t be afraid to promote your own work.

Merry Christmas.

Santa Claus never delivers presents to Jewish people despite the fact he is secular. Just because they celebrate an alternate version of Christmas earlier in the month does not give Santa the right to simply bypass them all together.

I wonder if it is a personal issue. Is Santa Claus envious that Jewish people aren’t fed up with Hanukkah like the Gentiles and Christmas? You never see a Jew stressed out this time of year because their holidays aren’t complete pain-in-the-ass events.

Everyone talks about how much things cost these days, and for Santa surely there are higher expenses hitting the production end. With the recalls and lead in Chinese products, he is forced to buy American, which in turn drives up prices. Maybe it is too costly to train the elves to make dreidels, so toy-making for the Christians is a cheaper option.

The fuel prices alone must be killing the old man lately. I don’t know if they make hybrid sleighs, or what Rudolph’s carbon footprint is, but the rumor is that Santa’s workshop uses more energy in a month than Al Gore’s mansion uses in a year.

But this is not about St. Nick and his eco-friendliness. It is about why he does not give Jewish children presents. Even though the last thing he needs is more people on his gift list in a time of rising costs or environmentalists breathing down his back, there has to be something else behind this conspiracy at the North Pole.

Perhaps Santa doesn’t hate the Jews. He has to prioritize his gift giving to those who believe in a holiday that technically has to do with another potentially fictional character.

When we were children we were told that if we didn’t believe in Santa Claus he would pass over our house. Instead of the first born male child being slain, it was coal in the stocking.

Maybe if more Jewish children believed in Jesus then Santa Claus would climb down their synagogue and leave them chocolate coins on Christmas Eve.

Chris Cameron and Angry Seafood wish you and yours a safe and happy holiday season, even if you believe in Festivus.

Humor-Blogs.com believes in Hanukkah Harry. Go there now for a prize.

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Old-school gaming combat meets the 2008 Presidential race in “DC Smackdown”, a new videogame from Adrenalan Studios. Harkening back to the days of Street Fighter-style scrums your goal is to defeat all of your opponents and become President.

There are a bunch of characters to choose from in “DC Smackdown” and each has their own signature moves, taunts, and attacks. Mitt Romney’s primary attack is a flip-flop sandal. One of Giuliani’s taunts is: “I’m America’s governor!”

In addition to the Presidential candidates there are media whores as well, like Rosie O’Donnell who throws pizza slices and yells “Eat me!” A few of the past politicians like Jesse Jackson and his “Rainbow Coalition” special attack round out the selections.

Like with past games of this style, you attack while also trying to block your opponent’s attacks until you build up enough power to be able to pull off your special move. The controls are simple to pick up and you can also use a gamepad which is a nice touch.

If you make it past six rounds you face-off against Reverend Al Gore and his “CO2 Fart Blast”. Beat Saint Al and you move on to the final fight versus George Dubya and his patented “Karl Rove” attack. Don’t lose or you end up in Gitmo!

There is no experience more enlightening then watching politicians and media icons getting into some fisticuffs, especially when you control one of them in a videogame. Think British Parliament but without the bad teeth and English accents.

“DC Smackdown” is a fun game but simple. If you are feeling nostalgic for those great console titles from the mid-90’s mixed with politics and humor from the present you will enjoy this one.

“DC Smackdown” costs $4.99 and can be downloaded directly from their website. Chris Cameron received no compensation from Adrenalan Studios for this review and is disappointed to be honest.

You can read more of Chris Cameron’s odd writing, interviews, and strange things at Angry Seafood.

Go to Humor-Blogs.com to find out their favorite videogame. Not really, but you will find funny blogs there.

By Chris Cameron

Listen up all you 911 Truthers, the time has come to reveal who was really behind the conspiracy behind the horrific events of September 11, 2001.

It was not the government. Please, they run the IRS and the DMV. Giving someone a license is pretty basic and look how easily they screw that up. Professional mathematicians can’t understand the US Tax Code. The government excels only in incompetence.

It was not Al Qaeda. Well, maybe they were the ones that carried it out but they were hired hands. Who do you think bought them?

It was Disney. The super corporation that stands for shoving fun and Hannah Montana down our collective throats was behind it all. Speaking of Hannah Montana, when does she turn eighteen? I want to mark that day on my calendar so that I know when impure thoughts about her are legal to have running through my devious mind many would call a gutter.

Where the hell was I?

Ah yes, Disney was the mastermind behind 911.

You may ask “how can a nice friendly mouse kill thousands of people and basically ramp up the rise of radical Islam?” Or maybe “what the hell are you smoking?” To which I would reply, “Perfectly legal cigarettes.”

It all began in the late 90’s. Disney had it all. They were in all the malls in America. They had theme parks in California, Florida, and even France. The “I Surrender” ride was a big hit over there, but the rest of the park – not so much.

They had a vast library of films, mostly ones that followed the same plot line: parents get killed and the main character’s conflict directly relates to that past event. They started up their own cable channel and even had a sports team with a really stupid name, the Mighty Ducks.

But was this enough for Eisner? Apparently not, he wanted more, and in 2000 an evil plot was hatched. Bin Laden was already planning an attack on the United States but he was lacking in the business sense. His group wanted to blow up government buildings, but Osama knew there was something missing in the plan.

While on a tour of Euro Disney, Eisner reached out to Bin Laden and persuaded him to target the World Trade Center in order to topple an icon of financial and commercial success of the United States. He saw this as his opportunity for expansion of the Disney brand name, and a means to an end.

With the World Trade Center removed as that icon, there would need to be something to replace it that would be equal in symbolism. What better way to do this then with a Disney Theme Park right in Manhattan?

The dragging of the feet on the memorial is just Disney’s attorneys slowing down the process enough so that Eisner can buy the land and begin construction on Disney NYC.

Six years later the land where the World Trade Center stood remains undeveloped and Mickey Mouse is now being marketed to extreme Islam.

Coincidence? I think not!

Chris Cameron is a writer of odd and different humor. You can read more of his strangeness at Angry Seafood.

humor-blogs.com is not the group behind 911 but they are still on the hook for where socks go in the dryer.