?egnahC: A Vision of the Apocalypse

And then on the fourth day, teh Messiah had risen to power set to reign for four years, and he brought with him the minions and ghouls of the Underworld known as Congress. And Lo the most merciful Lord Obama sent out the Whore of the Bay whose face was stretched in hideous, and terrifying fashion. With her she carried four seals.

And when the Ghoulosi opened the first seal the Earth beheld a white horse. His rider is always right, and he was given a satirical bow and crown. He was given the power of conquering, and to conquer small, oil rich countries, and the blogosphere. He rode forth and trampled many hippies, and moonbats beneath the white horse’s jackboots.

And ye then did she open the second seal, and the earth beheld a red horse. Power was given unto it’s rider to distort the images of the web, to make them attack those that may be in them. A great sword of humor and satire was given unto him that those who did not find his work funny would laugh anyway.

When the Whore opened the third seal, there emerged a black horse. The rider carried with him a pair of balances. Ghoulosi said unto him a measure of satire for a penny, and three measures of humor for a penny. The rider replied,”You mean I get paid for this? Sweet!” to which the whore replied, “We get it all back in taxes, but take with you this Angry Seafood to unleash upon the earth.”

The fourth seal was then opened, and behold a pale horse. His rider’s name was JumpOut and humor and satire followed with him. And power was given unto them to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. Hilarity ensued.

I’m here bitches, tremble.

Image Credit: March of the Undead by Lainmoon

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http://radioactiveliberty.com/ The Planet’s Best Political Humor 2011

When I demanded nomination from The Monger Horde™ for the 2006 Weblog Awards, I promised that I would ridicule the competition. I intend to keep this promise… for at least one day.

Now, above all else, the Weblog awards are supposed to be fun. So I intend to do my best to suck every drop of fun from it for my opposition. That’s the sort of thing that a Supreme Monger Overlord and aspiring Cruel, Deranged, Bloodthirsty Despot of the Universe does. Soon, they will all be crying for Mommy.

First of all, Joust the Facts. Joust the Facts? Has anyone ever seen the episode of Family Guy where he was a jouster in the Renaissance Fair. That’s what I’m thinking, Ren Fair geek.

Decision ’08. Now that’s just retarded. I keep thinking of Glenn Beck doing Jeopretardy and the category “08 Basement.” That’s the knuckleheads that are planning for the ’08 election before there are even serious candidacies. Yep. I just voted but I’m all geared up for an election that’s over 700 days away. Do I know how to have a good time or what? BTW, what happens to the site after the 2008 election. I guess they’ll call it ’12 Basement… uh… Decision ’12.

Hooah Wife and Friends. What’s this, the Justice League? Superman and friends? When do they hold the Hannah Barbera games? You gotta be kidding me. When do they add “Power hour” to the end of the blog title?

Well, that’s all for now. Remember you can vote once every 24 hours per computer, so keep the votes coming.

Open Trackbacks Weekend, Point Five

I’m proud to announce that there are six 2006 Weblog Awards finalists from the War for Oil blogroll, unless I missed some and there are actually more. I think this is a clear indicator of the correlation between being a successful blogger and being a member of the War for Oil. There can be no other explanation. War for Oil is the best of the best of the best. Bacon®!

War for Oil members in the running:

• Best of the Top 501 – 1000 Blogs – Radioactive Liberty
• Best New Blog – Texas Fred’s
• Best Individual Blog – Blue Star Chronicles
• Best of the Top 250 Blogs – The Median Sib
• Best of the Top 251 – 500 Blogs – Point Five
• Best of the Top 3501 – 5000 Blogs – Insolublog

Although not a War for Oil member, and in spite of being Canadian, I must also endorse the founder and CEO of PERV, People for the Ethical Rights of Vegetables, a meatitarian advocacy group. I am sure that even though she is Canadian she recognizes that Bacon® is important, and that Canadian Bacon is ham, and not Bacon®. I hereby also endorse:

• Best Canadian Blog – Samantha Burns

YOU VOTE NOW!

If you don’t, the terrorists win!

Well, the 2006 Weblog Awards have arrived, and I don’t notice a nomination for Radioactive Liberty in the Best of the Top 501 – 1000 Blogs category. Now, I’m allowed to nominate myself, but if I have to do that, then what’s the point of even having a Monger Horde™?

Am I just supposed to sit and accept my mediocrity? You should know me better than that. I don’t expect to win, of course, but that’s not the important thing. What’s important is that you feed my delusions of grandeur.

It’s not whether you win or lose that matters, it’s whether or not you injure your opponent in the process.

I work best when I am insulting people. Blog award competitions are a treasure trove of potential victims. Or would you rather I spend the next month insulting you?

Now get to work before I start cracking skulls. My megalomania must be satiated.

Pertinent information:

http://radioactiveliberty.com/

Feed

http://feeds.feedburner.com/RadioactiveLiberty

On a related note, I nominated Insolublog for the Best of the Top 3501 – 5000 Blogs. Go support that nomination as well.

UPDATE: Von is a worthy member of the Monger Horde™. Now go prove your worthiness by seconding, thirding…

After seeing the comments of barfly, and sam hose, I have decided to revisit a post I made in the beginning of my blogging adventures. I know it’s a waste of time because idiots like this lack the intellect to comprehend these things, and have no respect for those that keep them safe while they sleep. They have no honor, and no sense of duty. They feel they owe no one. The idea of debt is alien to them. See The Religion Of Liberalism.

To you lefties:

Where were you on 9/11? Were you with everyone else? Were you huddled in the corner? Were you afraid? Were you shocked? Were you shedding a tear as almost 3,000 of your fellow citizens died?

How did you feel when death rained from the sky? Death driven by evil itself snatched the life out of 3,000 civilians while they were at work. It came from nowhere. The victims had done nothing to provoke their attackers. Where were you?

I imagine you were with most people. Standing there watching TV wondering why. Angry, confused, hurt. Formulating an idea of the US should respond to this cowardly act of mass murder? Does that make you a coward? Of course not.

It just happens that I was called out of my bed on my day off to suit up in my body armor and my handy dandy utility belt complete with Glock 23, expandable baton, hell in a can, portable radio, and Peerless handcuffs, jump into the blue and white battle-star and patrol the numerous chemicle plants in my jurisdiction that were deemed high value targets. With our eyes towards the skies, my coworkers and I mobilized to defend our citizens against any more violence that may have been planned that day.

You weren’t there. Does that make you a coward? Of course not. That’s just the way things were.

Where were you when my agency had been reduced to almost a skeleton crew because alot of our guys were called up to go to Afghanistan and then Iraq? Where were you when we were dealing with every suspicious mail package like it contained Anthrax? Where were you when we were dealing with bomb threats against the aforementioned plants on a daily basis?

Where were you that night I responded to call from a security gaurd at a chemicle plant that said he saw a group of men breaking into the plant? A plant that contains some of the most deadly chemicles known to man. I don’t remember seeing you there when we went into this plant in the dark of night with our weapons drawn to confront this group of men. My Sgt. picked me and two other guys to go into the plant with him while the rest of the shift secured the perimeter. Where were you?

Truthfully, it doesn’t matter where you were. You were doing your thing, and I was doing mine. The point is, just because people aren’t in Iraq doesn’t mean their opinion is worthless. Just because you weren’t with me doesn’t mean your opinion is worthless. It doesn’t make you a coward that you never picked up a weapon to defend the flock from the wolves.

The difference is in this, you don’t believe in the big bad wolf, or you see the sheepdogs as the wolves. The rest of us now that there is evil. We know that morals aren’t relative. We know that Osama Bin Laden isn’t the end of terrorism. As long as there are states sponsoring our enemies, financing our enemies, and harboring our enemies we won’t be safe. We believe terrorism is the big bad wolf, and we have to find it and kill it wherever it may be hiding.

So, the next time you want to call someone a coward for sitting behind their keyboard, don’t forget you’re sitting behind a keyboard too. And don’t make the mistake of coming out from behind it. There are wolves out there.

Crossposted on Shoot A Liberal and Fmragtops Spews

In January, I made some predictions for this year. So far, I have had one prove at least half right. My last prediction said:

FMRagtops will resume blogging, occasionally contributing a guest appearance on Radioactive Liberty.

That’s just one step closer to proving that I’m always right.

Yay! I’ve been nominated (By myself) in the categories of:

Best blog With the words “Radioactive” and “Liberty” (both) in the title

and

Used to actually write creative stuff, but now it’s just pointless screen shots.

Go to Striving for Average for all the nominations and to cast your vote. There are many great??? categories that need your vote.

Image courtesy of CyberVassals