Undeterred by his recent set-backs, President Obama and his band of Merry Men (Hillary included) wants to take untold billions, maybe trillions of U.S. dollars and give it all to a non-working, non-taxpaying, non-US citizen, minority.
With no mailing address, no phone number, no email, no way of even verifying whereabouts, we’re all ready to just give our hard earned money to a nebulous entity. Okay,it’s not really our money, it’s China’s. They’re just letting us play with it for a while.
Doesn’t at all surprise any of us does it? You know, spending all this money for something so necessary that if we don’t do it right now, absolutely horrible things will happen. Except this time we’re not going to hear the droning, left-wing mantra “Do it for the children,” because these child abusers are doing it to our children.
So if it’s not for the kids, and I’ll tell you right now it’s not for you or me, then just who is the beneficiary of this loathsome pecuniary levy?
Surprise! It’s the environment. Isn’t that just peachy?
It seems it needs a lot of money, but the environment deserves it, it worked hard this year. Call it a bonus.
You know what a government bonus is, right? No? That’s when we taxpayers bend over, and they bonus! Okay, not original, but still funny.
Multi-billions is a staggering amount, so just how are we going to deliver all of this cash? Well that’s easy really. As the money comes in, it’s going to be placed under a very large pillow. Then in the middle of the night, the Climate Change Fairy will sashay in and take it to the environment. It’s all for a good cause, you know, health care…just not yours.
We’re going to raise the prices on everything produced, through Cap and Trade, to try to bring down the environment’s fever and no, I have no idea where the thermometer goes. And another thought that crosses my mind, how do we know what the correct temperature of the environment is? Has anyone asked it?
I’ve never seen the environment interviewed on TV, so I’m not sure if we know that it wants it’s temp lowered, or anything else for that matter. I mean, we’re flying kind of blind here. Does the CIA, NSA or NOAA have any good intel on this issue? We don’t what this to become another WMDs in Iraq fiasco.
When you think about it, the environment is kind of scary. It’s REALLY BIG. Not only that, but it’s not a member of NATO, the EU, the UN, or any other organization I can think of. Is it rogue? Surely it’s not still mad at us. We got rid of George W. Bush.
These are important questions with far reaching implications. What if the environment goes on strike, or holds its breath until it turns blue? It could be like, totally bad. Isn’t it time we held talks with the environment, without pre-conditions? Do you think it will welcome us as liberators?
Les James has all the right answers. The problem is, the questions are all wrong.
2004–2010
12 responses so far ↓
1
Elm
// Mar 30, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Funnily enough, my daughter just lost a tooth today. I hope to God the Tooth Fairy doesn’t look like Barney, or I’ll have to sit up tonight with a shotgun.
2
JumpOut
// Mar 31, 2009 at 5:37 pm
You ever see the movie Darkness Falls? Bunny Fwank is the bad guy in that movie too.
3
Jr
// Mar 31, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Seriously, putting the “bonus” joke right before that God-awful pic of Barney was an error in judgment.
I nearly hurled.
Maybe I’ll have the strength to finish reading the essay later. Right now, I have to go splash some bleach on my eyes.
4
Les James
// Mar 31, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Elm – So was it Barney? Did you blow his wittle wings off?
JO- Haven’t seen it, but I’ll have to check it out.
Jr- Cool! I’m an essayist!
5
Elm
// Apr 1, 2009 at 6:40 pm
It was Geithner.
6 Questions About Global Warming Climate Change | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Apr 3, 2009 at 3:57 pm
[...] humans can cause climate change, then what is the optimal average global temperature we should shoot for? if we have the ability to [...]
7 Earth Day, Global Warming, and Hippies | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Apr 23, 2009 at 2:19 pm
[...] I Believe in the Climate Change Fairy. Beat reporter Les James captures this exclusive and undoctored snapshot. You won’t want to miss it. [...]
8 Jeff Foxworthy Parody, You Might Be A Terrorist | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Apr 24, 2009 at 12:00 pm
[...] you think that burning an American flag somehow doesn’t contribute to global warming, you’re just a totally screwed-up moonbat. Oops, how’d that get in [...]
9 Glenn Beck Meets the Black Knight | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Jun 17, 2009 at 6:55 am
[...] Sir Glenn: “With what? Besides, do I look like Barney Frank?” [...]
10 Political Humor and Conservative Satire Scraper Edition | The Planets Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.com // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:51 am
[...] warming, and asked a few intelligent questions about global warming, then you would know that the climate change fairy is not real, so it won’t be on any global warming top 10 [...]
11 Eric Massa: He Tickles, He Gropes | The Planets Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.com // Mar 10, 2010 at 12:43 pm
[...] to offer our limited edition, Tickle Me Massa Doll. Tickle Me Massa has been tested and approved by Barney Frank, and comes naked as a Jaybird, ready to be poked in the chest by No Towel Around His Tush [...]
12 Eric Massa: He Tickles, He Gropes | Daily Political news // Mar 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm
[...] to offer our limited edition, Tickle Me Massa Doll. Tickle Me Massa has been tested and approved by Barney Frank, and comes naked as a Jaybird, ready to be poked in the chest by No Towel Around His Tush [...]
Leave a Comment or the Terrorists Win!
If you're wondering how to get an icon next to your name, go to gravatar.com and sign up for a free account.
Remember, only terrorist sympathizers don't have a gravatar.