[...] year I didn’t throw a New Year’s Eve Party. The reason was, I couldn’t find anyone I wanted to attend. Not a problem this [...]

That tipping head just freaks me out.

How do you take Mark Steyn off the list? I know he’s Canadian but come on

Might have been before your time Eric, but I’ve written before about the fact that on the “right” side of the Cascades, we only allow hippies to pass through. There is an annual hunt, every fall. We don’t need any frozen, smelly hippies thawing-out in the spring.

Thanks for thinking that I really want friends, but when I do, I’ll get a dog. Speaking of dogs, Rosie roasting would smell as bad as thawing hippies.

Being in the boonies no conservative party could be complete without a pig roasting and hippy hunt. May I suggest Rosie and Jeneane to fill these positions. Should you adequately advertise these events I’m sure you would not only have people bringing more consumable beverages, but you might make some new friends too.