Political Humor |

When You’re Right, You’re Wrong

It seems that every day another prominent Liberal labels us conservatives as racist. I support them. They have the right to libel large portions of the population. I know I want that privilege. After all, it’s The American Way.

Their latest assault is the charge that we Radical Right Wing types are racist for not supporting Obama’s Health Care Plan. Hate to piss in your Corn Flakes Libs, he doesn’t have one. We keep hearing about this vaunted, mind-blowing, Wunder-scheme, but I’ve yet to see a copy.

The President is giving a rare speech this Wednesday evening (Alert the Press!). And it’s going to be in front of a Joint Session of Congress. I’ve even heard he’s going to “flesh-out his vision” for health care.

Two things come immediately to mind. First one is, the President is having visions. Now since he believes he’s The Chosen One, where are the visions coming from? Second thing that pops into my mind is, just how do you do that?

Putting flesh on a vision sounds kind of creepy to me. Don’t you usually put flesh on a skeleton? I guess that’s kind of creepy too. But then I finally understood. This man is brilliant. If you put flesh on a skeleton, it takes on structure and a backbone. Obama wouldn’t want that. If you put flesh on a vision, it has no permanent form. It can be shaped anyway he chooses. Like I said, brilliant.

Back to the Racist Thing

So my question to the Far Left would be, how can I be opposed to something (that up until this Wednesday anyway -fingers crossed) I’ve never seen or even knew if it actually existed? Although, rumor has it the President may consider writing his own plan down. Like on paper and everything.

Get ready to hold your breath. Starting…now!

Still, it’s really difficult to take a stand against an intangible. I can be against an idea. Like, I don’t know, maybe Fascism.  But just how this translates to us hating the President because he’s black is beyond me.

Answer: It doesn’t. Like I’ve said so many times before. Obama’s black because he says he’s black. He’s white because I say he’s white. Which nicely explains the racist allegations. Confused? Read on.

But first… breath.

The Truth Comes Out

The only health care plans I’ve seen from the Dems are the one’s the House and the Senate have produced. I guess we’re being labeled as Racist for opposing the Bills from Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid… which the President might support.

Weird as this seems, by their definition, if the President supports a plan from a couple of white folks, then by extension, I must hate white folks. It’s twisted logic, but still logic.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do dislike some white people, but it’s way too much effort to keep up hate. You see, I’m rather lazy.

On the other hand, I’m white. Most of my friends are white. I’ve owned a white truck and white socks. I use to have The Beatles White Album. I live in a white neighborhood. I separate my whites when I do laundry. Hell, I even married a white woman.

Wow! That really sounds bad. I’m trying way too hard to show I’m not prejudice. This can only mean one thing.  I am a bigot after all. Hum, never saw that coming.

Now that my eyes have been pried wide open, let’s take this nastiness out to its logical conclusion. Using my perverse attitude as a mean, we can extrapolate that the entire Right of Center Universe, every conservative –regardless of his or her race, creed or color- must be the same as me. We are Racist!

Damn Crackers.