Why is it that the staple gun always runs out of staples right at the exact time that I’m trying to staple something? Why can’t it run out when I don’t need any staples? It seems oddly suspicious to me.

It’s not just staples either. I always run out of Cap’n Crunch when I’m pouring myself a bowl! You would think that it could run out when I don’t want any. You would think that it would kkep itself in a plentiful supply when I want some. I cry foul.

Did you ever notice that after you eat the last piece of pizza, there’s none left? Coincidence? I think not. I blame Bush. No, scratch that. I don’t want the Bush junta to track me down and lable me an enemy combatant, and torture me repeatedly. I know their spying on me. I see the hits from the NSA at my site.

When I drink the last beer, I have no beer left. That just won’t do. I won’t stand for that. Live free or die, right?

I would blame Canada, but I already did that on the past Friday the 13th. Plus they just elected a “conservative” leadership, which is to say they’re slightly less socialist. It’s a step in the right direction, though. I’ll spare them my wrath.

Someone needs to take responsibility though. Someone must be my scapegoat. Someone must pay.

I blame the French!!!

Linked on Mudville Gazette

Category: Humor