Political Humor | Conspiracies Abound

Why is it that the staple gun always runs out of staples right at the exact time that I’m trying to staple something? Why can’t it run out when I don’t need any staples? It seems oddly suspicious to me.

It’s not just staples either. I always run out of Cap’n Crunch when I’m pouring myself a bowl! You would think that it could run out when I don’t want any. You would think that it would kkep itself in a plentiful supply when I want some. I cry foul.

Did you ever notice that after you eat the last piece of pizza, there’s none left? Coincidence? I think not. I blame Bush. No, scratch that. I don’t want the Bush junta to track me down and lable me an enemy combatant, and torture me repeatedly. I know their spying on me. I see the hits from the NSA at my site.

When I drink the last beer, I have no beer left. That just won’t do. I won’t stand for that. Live free or die, right?

I would blame Canada, but I already did that on the past Friday the 13th. Plus they just elected a “conservative” leadership, which is to say they’re slightly less socialist. It’s a step in the right direction, though. I’ll spare them my wrath.

Someone needs to take responsibility though. Someone must be my scapegoat. Someone must pay.

I blame the French!!!

Linked on Mudville Gazette