Eric reveals the double secret knowledge behind the 1 million jobs that have been created or saved by the economic stimulus package.
In an exclusive, I have discovered the source of millions of created or saved jobs. Now this isn’t some creative calculator art or fishiness, these are real, genuine, factually created or saved jobs. These jobs are funded and backed by and have been saved or created by the stimulus. Now you may ask how I can prove such a thing. So here is my proof:
Every two weeks I receive a check ($44) that is clearly labeled
THIS FEDERAL ADDITIONAL COMPENSATION (FAC) CHECK IS BEING ISSUED TO YOU AS A SUPPLEMENTAL UNEMPLOYMENT AS ENACTED IN THE AMERICAN RECOVERY AND REINVESTMENT ACT OF 2009.
Clearly funds are being used to keep me in my current employment, thus saving, or creating 1 (one) job. With these checks being issued, every single individual check issued in this method can be counted as a saved or created job.
It doesn’t matter to the mulatto mendacity that my current job is being unemployed, I’m being paid for doing it with stimulus funds.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure that every extra person on unemployment receiving this check is another positive use of stimulus funds. Just last month another 190,000 jobs were created adding all these valuable jobs to the payroll of unemployment, not to mention the 5.6 million, or so saved unemployment jobs.
So the next time someone asks you, you can proudly say you personally know at least one job that was created or saved by ARRA2009 (stimulus). HOPE AND CHANGE.
Image Credit: Unemployment Olympics 2009, Tompkins Park by Clementine Gallot
2004–2010 
4 responses so far ↓
1
Angie
// Nov 17, 2009 at 12:28 am
Nazi Piglosi is planning to single-handedly solve the unemployment crisis with her healthcare bill, creating 111 new bureaucracies to fill with a whole bunch of new positions. VIOLA! The unemployment problem is solved! You won’t need those $44 checks then, Eric, because you’ll be employed by the Federal Givernment through healthcare deform, paying taxes in order to pay your own wages.
It’s like magic or something.
2
Eric
// Nov 17, 2009 at 12:36 am
I’ve already been notified that after my first $2600, 10% will be extracted for taxes. Nice to see you up and kicking back Angie.
3
Angie
// Nov 17, 2009 at 1:47 am
Ah, I never stopped kicking. The Piglosi will try to wipe out me and my ilk with healthcare deform, but I’m a stain not quite so easily eradicated.
4
Les James
// Nov 19, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Where do I sign-up? I missed out on Soviet welfare since a guy named Reagan and some British chick screwed that up. No way could I move to China, I’m way to tall to fit in. Besides, they wear those funny hats. Praise be to Obama!
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