I’ve long wondered the answer to that question. I don’t know if it hurts to be stupid, or if stupid people live in some sort of Utopian Ignorant Bliss. Maybe being stupid is totally awesome. I don’t know.
The other night while I was gazing hypnotically at the computer monitor, there was some show on Court TV. I don’t know what the show was called, but it was probably something like, “The World’s Most Retarded Traffic Stops.” Maybe it wasn’t called that, but it should have, at least based on the one portion of it that I actually paid attention to.
This moron was pulled over for DUI because he was swerving all over the road. The officer then made him get out of the car for a field sobriety test. The guy couldn’t walk in what even vaguely resembled a straight line. Ultimately, he wound up in the back of the police cruiser, under arrest for DUI.
That’s when the fun began. First he asks the officer how much the officer makes. Then he tells the officer how he’s so important and makes so much money. Smack talk continues and the officer basically ignores him.
The drunk then starts on about how he’s going to get a lawyer and he’ll have the officer’s badge. Blah, blah, blah. “You’re gonna pay,” and all that crap.
Finally, he says something along the lines (I am working from memory here) of, “When my lawyer gets done with you, you’ll be on traffic duty.” Oooh. He thought he really socked it to the cop. The officer responds, “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
D’oh! Moron!
Fortunately, People at Humor-Blogs.com are much more intelligent.
2004–2008
15 responses so far ↓
1 fmragtops // Mar 10, 2007 at 8:14 pm
That type of stupid doesn’t hurt nearly as badly as the kind of stupid that makes people that are so drunk they can’t walk think they can fight.
2 RT - Chief Mongress // Mar 10, 2007 at 9:43 pm
I’d say they felt pain, but it appears that people without sense lack feeling, so maybe they are too stupid to realize they are in pain from being so stupid.
3 Skul // Mar 10, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Heh, FIAR, this is not a place to post your personal problems.
Did they get you on film??
4 Ron Coleman // Mar 11, 2007 at 3:13 am
FIAR makes that kind of dough? I thought he blogs.
5 FIAR // Mar 11, 2007 at 10:14 am
See, Skul! My lawyer just provided incontrovertible evidence that it wasn’t me.
6 Harry L // Mar 11, 2007 at 11:05 am
I think being stupid is like living in a constant utopian bliss. Except for the regular instances in
life where your stupidity bites you on the ass, but since it is beyond your comprehension to understand why it happened, you quickly recover and continue on as before. Unless you wake up in a jail cell with a nasty hangover
7 Skul // Mar 11, 2007 at 2:46 pm
HA!! Hiding behind the skirts of a shyster lawyer only confirms your guilt and carves it in stone. Do they serve Bacon in jail?
8 Ron Coleman // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Yes, in jail all serve Francis Bacon. He’s both a master of the pen and the queen of pen.
But hiding behind my skirts is not proof of guilt. It’s proof of the ability to pay my fee. True, this is almost certainly (and in FIAR’s case is absolutely certainly) proof of guilt, but if you don’t get all the elements right you will be reversed on appeal.
9 Skul // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Appeal is not a problem. I’ll have it heard by the Ninth Circuit. Show that FIAR believes in Family Values, dis-avows “global warming”, eats BACON, and any other emotional clap-trap I can dream up. Declare it’s for the cheeldrun. Appeal will be denied and FIAR gets reversed in jail. See, not a problem. Be strong FIAR.
10 RT - Chief Mongress // Mar 11, 2007 at 9:29 pm
“Fiar gets reversed in jail.” Heh…reversed in jail.
11 FIAR // Mar 12, 2007 at 10:15 am
Ron, you just argued that I’m guilty.
Your honor, I’d like to request one of those bad… trial… thingies.
12 Ron Coleman // Mar 12, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Now, now, FIAR. Put another coin in the meter and you will find your counsel to be immensely more effective (the word your were looking for was “inneffective”) than you thought…
13 Skul // Mar 12, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Ron doesn’t HAVE to argue the extent of your guilt. We, your victims already know. Can we get to the punishment phase now?
14 RT - Chief Mongress // Mar 12, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Can I inflict the punishment? (sorry, bad mongress!)
15 RT - Chief Mongress // Mar 12, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Sorry. That should be: May I inflict the punishment?
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