The political roundtable continues with the greatest minds conservative politics has ever seen, or ever will see. This week we take a look at whether or not polar bears should be put on the endangered list.
Les: I don’t believe they’re actually endangered… yet. Just wait until this 10-12 years of global cooling kicks in. Icebergs floating around the Jersey shoreline, littered with hungry bears looking for seals. East coast pimps will demand their white fur coats. That’s the problem that I foresee. Let Greenpeace step in front of that group.
Chris: Polar Bears > Inuit. If I were them I would train polar bears to attack and kill moonbats. Then bring the animals down to Oregon where they can go nuts and bite hippies’ faces. It will be like a Native American Sherman’s March against stupidity and liberalism.
Of course the Democrats will counter with a casino plan to appease the Inuit.
Fiar: You may think you would do some pretty crazy things for a Klondike bar, but a polar bear will rip your head off and sh*t down your neck. Then it will poke out your eyes and skull f*ck you. Then it will take your Klondike bar.
And will Greenpeace be there to help? Help hold your disembodied head, maybe. No, there will be no good times at the casino for you. Thanks to the protected polar bear.
No Klodike bar either.
What do you think? Should polar bears be put on the endangered list?
Humor-Blogs.com is giving away free Klondike Bars.
2004–2008
10 responses so far ↓
1
Les James
// May 24, 2008 at 11:38 am
Like most states, if you take out the major cities -in our case Portland- this place would be a republican strong hold. Not that I’d be all that much happier with them in power, look at Gordon Smith.
The point being, is that the bears need to be let lose in Portland, they would then chase the hippies into Eugene-astan. There we could round them up and extract their oils to power our SUV’s. The bears can have whats left. Win, win.
2
Eileen
// May 24, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Do polar bears eat seals?
3
Chris C.
// May 24, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Sometimes I think we live in some alternate Earth where facts and common sense have been removed from life.
In a way that might be cool because the people that would possess these important skills would be considered endangered. They would have to have sex with lots of women to spread their genes to ensure the species survives and thrives.
Count on me to be the first to volunteer.
4
Chris C.
// May 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Yes they do Eileen. Seals are their main source of food. I’m curious to find out why you ask.
5
Alex L.
// May 24, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Maybe shes a big fan of his. I know if a large mammal ate my favourite singer I’d be saddened.
6
Alex L.
// May 24, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Thats a horrible joke I’m sorry everyone.
7
Eileen
// May 25, 2008 at 12:09 am
If Polar bears eat seals, then I am in favor of protecting Polar Bears.
8
diesel
// May 25, 2008 at 12:29 am
I think pole dancers should be on the endangered list.
9
Chris C.
// May 25, 2008 at 1:59 am
@Alex: There are no horrible jokes, only horrible people like Rachael Carson and Al Gore.
@Eileen:…which would lead to less seals. They make annoying noises. I like your thinking.
@Diesel: Great idea but there are reproduction issues. In order for the pole dancing species to survive we will need to enact selective breeding which goes completely against a pole dancer’s programming.
10
Fiar
// Aug 27, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I’m just thinking about Eileen’s response. Why not just kill all the polar bars and then balance out the seal population with a baby seal clubbing marathon every weekend? We should do the baby seal clubbing marathon either way if you ask me.
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