John McCain is dangerous for America. He will rape the Earth, eat your baby, and send the Death Star to destroy the world. He also hates black people.

John McCain is a war monger. According to certified idiot, Pat Buchanan – Who has never held a credible opinion in his life – John McCain “will make Hitler look like Ghandi.” Actually, he said Cheney, not Hitler, but we already know that the difference there is trivial.

John McCain hates foreigners. Sure he favors amnesty for illegal immigrants, but he doesn’t even know any foreign languages, just like typical embarassing Americans. When Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. John McCain doesn’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in Spanish. Obama may have his head stuck in a bucket, but at least he knows that much.

John McCain wants to see women punished with childbirth. He wants to take the tender, succulent babies and eat them with A1 steak sauce. A1, yeah. It’s that important. He will take the tougher, stringier babies and send them off to die in Iraq. We look to this MoveOn.Org video where a distressed and confused mother is holding her baby, and feeding it drano. She’s terrified that John McCain will take her baby away. She even breaks into a Ramones song parody.

John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took him away. Away from me. John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took my boy. He took my baby away.

See the terror that is inflicted when people are punished with babies? John McCain is a terrorist.

John McCain wants to kill Iranians with cigarettes. That’s not even efficient. We all know that Global Warming is going to kill us all in the next 6 months, or 6 millenia. The difference there is trivial. We should kill the Iranians with SUVs and LCD screen TVs.

Wait! No. We shouldn’t kill the Iranians at all. We should hand deliver them scones and missiles, and apologize profusely for being ignorant Americans that don’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in their native tongue. That’s what Barack Obama will do.

John McCain doesn’t even have a detailed plan for the impending global climate crisis. Has he proposed any floating lilly pad cities? No. He seems to be of the opinion that we should just let global warming kill ‘em all and let Gaia sort them out. In fact, he scored a 0 — yes, zero — from the League of Conservation Voters last year.

Obama will impose rations, raise gas taxes to unaffordable rates, and stop people from being punished with babies, which will lower consumption further.

John McCain is a threat to America and the American way of life. Whether your baby is tender and succulent, or tough and stringy, it is imperative to their future that we keep John McCain out of office.

Yeah. It’s that important.

I’m John McCain and I approve this Walmart.

McCain Walmart greeter photoshop by Les, just for Chris.

Humor-Blogs.com knows Obama Spanish. That’s the one where “Merci beaucoup” isn’t French.

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Category: Political Humor Tags: Barack Obama Humor, Editorial Satire, Iran Missiles, John McCain Humor, noads, Obama Spanish