John McCain is dangerous for America. He will rape the Earth, eat your baby, and send the Death Star to destroy the world. He also hates black people.
John McCain is a war monger. According to certified idiot, Pat Buchanan – Who has never held a credible opinion in his life – John McCain “will make Hitler look like Ghandi.” Actually, he said Cheney, not Hitler, but we already know that the difference there is trivial.
John McCain hates foreigners. Sure he favors amnesty for illegal immigrants, but he doesn’t even know any foreign languages, just like typical embarassing Americans. When Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. John McCain doesn’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in Spanish. Obama may have his head stuck in a bucket, but at least he knows that much.
John McCain wants to see women punished with childbirth. He wants to take the tender, succulent babies and eat them with A1 steak sauce. A1, yeah. It’s that important. He will take the tougher, stringier babies and send them off to die in Iraq. We look to this MoveOn.Org video where a distressed and confused mother is holding her baby, and feeding it drano. She’s terrified that John McCain will take her baby away. She even breaks into a Ramones song parody.
John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took him away. Away from me. John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took my boy. He took my baby away.
See the terror that is inflicted when people are punished with babies? John McCain is a terrorist.
John McCain wants to kill Iranians with cigarettes. That’s not even efficient. We all know that Global Warming is going to kill us all in the next 6 months, or 6 millenia. The difference there is trivial. We should kill the Iranians with SUVs and LCD screen TVs.
Wait! No. We shouldn’t kill the Iranians at all. We should hand deliver them scones and missiles, and apologize profusely for being ignorant Americans that don’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in their native tongue. That’s what Barack Obama will do.
John McCain doesn’t even have a detailed plan for the impending global climate crisis. Has he proposed any floating lilly pad cities? No. He seems to be of the opinion that we should just let global warming kill ‘em all and let Gaia sort them out. In fact, he scored a 0 — yes, zero — from the League of Conservation Voters last year.
Obama will impose rations, raise gas taxes to unaffordable rates, and stop people from being punished with babies, which will lower consumption further.
John McCain is a threat to America and the American way of life. Whether your baby is tender and succulent, or tough and stringy, it is imperative to their future that we keep John McCain out of office.
Yeah. It’s that important.
I’m John McCain and I approve this Walmart.
McCain Walmart greeter photoshop by Les, just for Chris.
Humor-Blogs.com knows Obama Spanish. That’s the one where “Merci beaucoup” isn’t French.
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2004–2010
18 responses so far ↓
1
richj
// Jul 9, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Can we still vote for McCain as long as he promises to just eat muslim babies and an occasional polar bear?
2
Chris C.
// Jul 9, 2008 at 3:47 pm
hehehe
3
Les James
// Jul 9, 2008 at 7:17 pm
What happened to the baby eating dingos?
4
Rich
// Jul 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm
is that baby-eating dingos or just as you typed it baby eating dingos? I would love to see a baby eating a dingo.
5
Alex L.
// Jul 10, 2008 at 12:23 am
Oh come on Mc Cains not that stupid, everyone knows baby is white meat you’d have apple sauce with it!
6
diesel
// Jul 10, 2008 at 1:13 am
If John McCain worked at Wal-Mart, I bet he would get sick of people asking him if he could get something down from a high shelf for them.
7
Les James
// Jul 10, 2008 at 9:18 am
Damn it Rich. First Chris C whines until he get’s a McCain Walmart greeter pict, now you want one of a baby eating a dingo.
8 John McCain’s First Term | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Jul 17, 2008 at 9:01 am
[...] I did some digging on this story during my writing break and I am proud to announce I have obtained John McCain’s diary from the future if he were elected. The journal was odd in that it wasn’t [...]
9 Hippie Humor | Why I Hate Hippies | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Jul 23, 2008 at 2:31 pm
[...] honestly don’t know where this even comes from. I love babies. In fact, I never tasted a baby that I didn’t like with just the right marinade. Sure, I’ve had a few platters that [...]
10 Rick Warren Interviews Obama, McCain, Fiar | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Aug 17, 2008 at 6:02 am
[...] Rick Warren interviewed Presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain at the Saddleback Church Saturday night as part of the two hour forum on faith. Due to time [...]
11 Fiscal Crisis - Super Obama Will Save Us | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Sep 26, 2008 at 9:01 am
[...] Obama is ready to lead all 58 states out of the current financial crisis. With John McCain vowing to suspend his campaign until a bailout bill, an unidentified reporter asked Obama: [...]
12
Joe B
// Oct 24, 2008 at 9:39 am
What the hell is this. McCain is against Pro-Choice. This site is total BS. Stop making articles that have false statements you liberal-nut. John McCain is probably the most American person to run for president since friggen Washington.
Um…no, we dont exactly know if humans are causing global warming. For all we know, the methane produced from humans when they pass gas could be polluting the Ozone. The world is a HUMUNGOUS place and would take 500 years for us to die out from global warming. Hell, we might get so close to the sun that we frie before the Ozone deplets. And yes, McCain does have a plan on pollution unlike you pussy liberals that just complain about it and make plans for it but you wussies don’t have the balls to go through with it.
BOOYAH!!!!
13
kimimaru
// Oct 24, 2008 at 9:40 am
get out now you horrible people i think you are stupid you should reseach the person before you talk about them .get out your stupider than peter griffin on family guy. I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 Vote for McCain Because Old People Are Thrifty | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Oct 30, 2008 at 11:29 am
[...] a reason lacking all sense of political humor and silliness for why we should all vote for John McCain: old people are [...]
15 The Real Differences Between Democrats and Republicans | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Nov 8, 2008 at 4:40 pm
[...] John McCain (owner of thirteen or thirty cars and a dozen or so houses, he thinks) is quietly pushing for a private supply of ethanol free gas for his Mexican (Americans in Waiting) gardeners. Many states mandate some blend already and the rest are sure to follow soon. In case you weren’t aware, that ethanol crap clogs up small engines like those in lawn mowers, weed eaters, and leaf blowers, rendering them useless. [...]
16
watev
// Oct 11, 2009 at 12:31 am
wow! whoever wrote this is an idiot!!! you don’t have any real points against mccain so you had to make them up!!! good try!!! but no one is dumb enough to believe these lies!!!
17
Les James
// Oct 11, 2009 at 11:16 am
wow! whoever wrote the comment above is an idiot!!!
It’s called satire numbnuts. What you were looking at was a over the top parody of the far lefts comments. Wake-up and smell the conservative humor.
18
Chris C
// Oct 12, 2009 at 12:28 am
watev we’re both on the same side here. Take a deep breath and look at it like Les said.
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