Fairy Tales Can Come True

Gather ‘round your Uncle Les. It’s story time again. Today I’d like to share with you a tale of what happens when nice, plant eating animals get pushed too far.

Once upon a time in place called The Good Old Days, the elephants and the donkeys lived in a beautiful, green pasture. There was fine grazing for as far as the eye could see. They didn’t always get along but at least they were civil toward each other. Most would say that life was pretty good.

Sharing the pasture with them was a very large herd of cows. The elephants guarded the borders of the pasture and the donkeys took to looking after the welfare of those cows in need. All they asked in return was to be allowed to have a little of the cows’ milk for themselves.

As time went on the donkeys got fat and greedy. Some would say thirsty and lustful. They decided that even though there was more than enough milk to go around for everyone, that they wanted a larger share for themselves. The elephants said that they wouldn’t go along with such a plan, but there were more donkeys than elephants and so they lost that argument.

As the years passed, the donkeys and the elephants found that they had less and less in common and argued more and more. Finally an old, rogue bull elephant came along and said the he could work with the donkeys. Compromise, he said was the way to do that.

Many of the elephants listened to him and they did compromise with the donkeys but the donkeys would not grant concessions to the elephants. The elephants thought they could, someday, persuade the donkeys to find a middle ground with them so they went along. All too soon, it became hard to tell the donkeys from the elephants by their actions alone.

The donkeys, along with a growing number of elephants, kept grabbing up increasing amounts of the milk and mandating that it be given to cows that snicked in from other pastures where the grass wasn’t as green or to those who demanded that the donkeys give them the milk of their neighbors.

A lot of cows began to get just a little upset by this. They saw their supply of the life giving milk dwindle each year. There was less and less of it to feed their own young. But each year the donkeys, and now the most of elephants, demanded more and more of it.

The old, battle scarred, rogue elephant spoke out and said that he thought he should be the leader of not only the elephants but the donkeys and cows too because he had lots of experience in dealing with donkeys. Just then a young, brash donkey strutted forward to challenge him. He was clean and articulate and had a nice donkey smile. A lot of the cows liked him and said that he should be their leader.

Many other cows wanted the old bull to be in charge but cows are not very bright and they let the young, inexperienced donkey lead them. Besides he promised a new shiny water trough on every acre, even though a wonderfully delicious stream ran through the pasture. And it would only cost them more of their childrens’ milk, which was in very short supply.

In the end the young, inexperienced donkey could not make good on his promise for the water troughs, nor any other of his promises except that it would cost the cows more of the now precious milk. This he did take and then took more.

The large herd finally got tired of being over-milked by the all of the donkeys and most of the elephants. Even lackadaisical bovines can get angry when pushed too far. And they did.

The cows stampeded and many of the elephants who saw what was coming, joined the herd and stampeded with them, but not all. Even a couple of the donkeys had the good sense to enter the fray on the side of the marauding cows.

The rest of the stubborn donkeys and their elephant friends, stood still in the path of their pending destruction, all but oblivious in their arrogance, and talked amongst themselves about whether to take more of the milk. The young, brash donkey leader -paying a little more attention but not much- stood in front of all of them and said of the oncoming surge (which he knew would never succeed), that he would talk to them and this would solve everything. For his mere words were all he needed and pretty much all he ever had.

When the dust settled there was nothing left of the stubborn donkeys and those equally pig headed elephants. They had been reduced to just so much dust blowing in the wind. The old bull elephant -having no one left to compromise with- wandered out into the desert and was never heard from again.

The cows went back to their business of grazing and chewing their cud and the grass in the pasture grew tall and lush. The sun shone and the birds chirped and there was more than enough for everyone. The cows swore never to let a donkey be leader again, but cows have such short memories. The End.

Now that was a nice story with a happy ending wasn’t it? But there’s one little bit left to be told. This story has a moral and that moral is, don’t be dumb ass.

Be a smart ass and get more parody, satire and humor at Sideshow Mirrors, where Les shows his on a regular basis.

Obama as an ass picture by Dreamworks

Category: Political Humor Tags: 2008 Election, Barack Obama, Democrats, John McCain, noads, Political Humor, Political Humour, Republicans