There are too many people that don’t know the facts about global warming. Some may believe in global warming myths, while others simply don’t know all the global warming statistics.
In order to bring enlightenment, and most likely create a few myths of my own, I’ve developed this FAQ to provide you with all the global warming information you need.
What causes global warming?
The Sun. Without it, the Earth would be a cold, bleak, desolate wasteland. Much like Pluto, which is no longer a planet. Or Al Gore’s brain.
Is Global Warming real?
I wouldn’t say that global warming is not happening. But whether or not the Earth is genuinely going through a phase of warming or cooling is part of a natural cycle. The real question is whether Man Made global warming is a scam. Yes. Yes it is a scam. Just like Scientology.
Do you have pictures of global warming?
Don’t be silly. It’s impossible to have pictures of things that don’t exist. I find it interesting how many mythical things we have “pictures” of. For example, the famous photograph of the Loch Ness Monster is really a hand in the bathtub. Like so.
Of course, there are artist renderings of global warming. In other words, fake pictures. Like the one of the poor polar bears above. Do keep in mind, that these are fake, phony contrived images.
Nothing more than a hoax. Like the “Osama bin Laden” tapes. Basically the exact sort of thing you would expect from the AP or Reuters.
Is Ron Paul still running for President?
That’s an excellent question, but a better question would be: why is Ron Paul still running for President? He has about as much of a chance of winning as Barack Obama does in winning a professional bowling tournament.
How many votes does a person need to not get before they call it quits? What I do know is that this question has nothing to do with global warming.
Now that I think about it, they are both insane religious cults.
Is there any evidence against global warming?
Of course there is, but as with other religions, petty details like “facts” and “evidence” are of no concern to the practicioners of the faith. You can show as much data as you want to Al Gore and global warming’s hysterical hyperventalationists, but it will get you nowhere.
Can global warming be prevented?
Sure it can. I can also move objects with my mind. Barack Obama can bowl a perfect game, Al Gore isn’t insane, and controlling the weather is fun and easy.
Are there any natural causes of global warming?
Almost all causes of global warming are entirely natural.Volcanoes erupt and spew tons of “greenhouse gases” into the air. Volcanoes are one of the leading causes of global warming.
Cow farts are another leading cause. The process of evaporation over the oceans are also contribute to the natural causes of global warming.
Are humans the cause of global warming?
No. Whatever factor we play is nearly insignificant.
Is global warming for kids?
Kids love global warming! Whether they’re running through the sprinkler, taking a refreshing dip in the pool, or cooling off with some ice cream; there’s really no downside to global warming for kids.
Now you are armed with the facts about global warming. Go forth and club a baby seal, punch a dirty hippy, and feel secure in the knowledge that not even Al Gore’s palatial estate produces as large a carbon footprint as a volcano does.
So, turn on the lights, idle the car, and crank up the AC. It really won’t matter any more once Yellowstone or Anak Krakatau blows.
Humor-Blogs.com did not know that Yellowstone was a supervolcano, and I can’t believe I just linked to Wikipedia.
Here are a few other articles related to global warming information:
- Global Warming Solutions: The Ultimate Guide
- Global Warming Kills Nessie
- How You can Help Save the Planet
- Global Warming Armageddon
- Global Warming and Narnia
We now return you to your regularly scheduled political humor.
2004–2008
14 responses so far ↓
1 les James // Apr 9, 2008 at 8:04 pm
You sir, are a spiteful, woefully un-informed, under educated, spewer of lies and untruths.
I demand that you change this article immediately to reflect the truth that all scientists everywhere, claim as fact.
What right do you have to try to dissuade the public and harm the planet?
If you don’t do as I say and fold to my demands, I’ll say nasty things about you.
I hope this teaches you that you can’t just say what you please.
2 Insolublog // Apr 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm
So you are saying that the man-made concept of man-made global warming, is itself entirely man-made. Now I know why Al Gore thinks the earth has a fever. His cold, desolate wasteland of a brain is experiencing a serious thermal potential with respect to the environment.
3 les James // Apr 9, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Sorry, my mistake.
I thought I was on the BBC web site.
4 Alex L // Apr 10, 2008 at 12:57 am
I’m personally attempting to rid the world of cows… they are a blight on the mother earth…
5 don // Apr 10, 2008 at 1:33 am
Whoa dude! Ix-nay on the ‘Global Warming is a scam’ thing!
I’m presently making very good money selling larger carbon footprints to wanna-be rock stars.
Cool your jets a bit and their might be a few “carbon credits” coming your way.
Know what I mean?
6 jmrSudbury // Apr 10, 2008 at 10:17 am
Can global warming be prevented?
Sure. Get everyone to jump up and down for an hour starting at noon local time for a month and we will end up knocking the planet to a higher orbit and thus farther from the sun that heats us. We can call it Earth Hour — oh, wait. That name’s taken. Sorry.
John M Reynolds
7 Eileen // Apr 12, 2008 at 5:48 pm
How can you have “facts”.
One person’s “facts” are another person’s “fiction”.
Now, as for the behaviors, that people are being asked to change, because they might be contributing to global warming;
There are a lot of other reasons for changing these behaviors.
But it means sacrifice.
So it is most comfortable to deny that these behaviors are a problem.
8 Eileen // Apr 12, 2008 at 5:50 pm
As for those ice formations,
They were caused by waves, which were warmer than they would be, without global warming.
9 Cynthia // Apr 13, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Wow, you are a moron my friend. That’s ok though one day you will look back at this post and say oops… oh well my bad!
10 Fiar // Apr 13, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Thanks for the input, Cynthia. You did a bang-up job there of persuading me. Kudos for that.
Don, sorry. I don’t mean to harm your carbon offsets
scamperfectly legitimate business.11 Fiar // Apr 13, 2008 at 5:12 pm
You people are fucking clueless when it comes to the difference between responsible behavior and government enforced behavior. I oppose the latter almost unilaterally.
I recycle. I make efficient use of things, most especially because it’s more cost effective. I hate people that litter. What I don’t want is Big Mother intruding on people’s lives, and stripping the individuals of their personal responsibility, thus resulting in a society that is indoctrinated to follow the orders of Big Mother, and blaming everyone but themselves when they fuck up.
Get it through your heads. The issue is whether or not the government should have anything to do with anything. Not whether people should live responsibly.
The whole Global Warming hoax is 100% about more government regulation, more government intrusion, and more taxes.
The entire movement is funded and fueled by organizations using “ecology” to impose socialism. Pure and simple. Socialism is the goal.
12 Fiar // Apr 13, 2008 at 5:20 pm
How arrogant are people to think that they are so significant as to be able to influence the temperature of the entire Earth?
We’re not that important in the grand scheme of things. We make our buildings, and play with our toys, but one volcano and , BOOM! It’s all over.
We’re a blink of the eye in the history of the Universe, and we’ll all be gone one day. And NO ONE in the entire Universe will know we were ever here.
There will be no trace of our existence. Forget the romantic notions of Sci-Fi movies, where some future culture shakes their head in shame.
“Damn you! They blew it up!”
It will NOT happen that way. No one will ever know we even existed!
Got it. We’re simply NOT THAT IMPORTANT!
13 Eileen // Apr 29, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Fiar,
I have a low self esteem.
Anything perceived as arrogance is really just a cover.
History shows that companies do act selfishly related to a lack of willingness to control negative externalities they are not willing to pay for.
Look at the history of the industrial revolution.
Look at the current practice of moving production overseas, where environmental laws are not as stringent.
I am not talking about Global Warming alone (or maybe at all). I am talking about pollution and depletion of resources.
As far as the larger system goes, yes we are not significant.
But my concern is not the larger system. My concern is the water and air that is now needed to sustain the current life forms on the planet.
As a species we are not that significant, on a universal (or even global) scale.
So What.
14 Fiar // Apr 29, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I am talking about pollution and depletion of resources.
As far as the larger system goes, yes we are not significant.
But my concern is not the larger system. My concern is the water and air that is now needed to sustain the current life forms on the planet.
I agree with you entirely. The problem is the attempt to conflate the viewpoint you expressed, and I agreed with, into the scam issue of global warming.
Conservation and the global warming hysteria have exactly zero to do with each other. They are not even framed the same way.
I want clean water, because I need to drink it and bathe in it. I want clean air, because I need to breathe it. The global warming alarmists want to advance the notion that conservation still isn’t good enough. In fact, nothing is ever good enough until some law, tax, and regulation is passed.
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