Facts on Global Warming
There are too many people that don’t know the facts about global warming. Some may believe in global warming myths, while others simply don’t know all the global warming statistics.
In order to bring enlightenment, and most likely create a few myths of my own, I’ve developed this FAQ to provide you with all the global warming information you need.
What causes global warming?
The Sun. Without it, the Earth would be a cold, bleak, desolate wasteland. Much like Pluto, which is no longer a planet. Or Al Gore’s brain.
Is Global Warming real?
I wouldn’t say that global warming is not happening. But whether or not the Earth is genuinely going through a phase of warming or cooling is part of a natural cycle. The real question is whether Man Made global warming is a scam. Yes. Yes it is a scam. Just like Scientology.
Do you have pictures of global warming?
Don’t be silly. It’s impossible to have pictures of things that don’t exist. I find it interesting how many mythical things we have “pictures” of. For example, the famous photograph of the Loch Ness Monster is really a hand in the bathtub. Like so.
Of course, there are artist renderings of global warming. In other words, fake pictures. Like the one of the poor polar bears above. Do keep in mind, that these are fake, phony contrived images.
Nothing more than a hoax. Like the “Osama bin Laden” tapes. Basically the exact sort of thing you would expect from the AP or Reuters.
Is Ron Paul still running for President?
That’s an excellent question, but a better question would be: why is Ron Paul still running for President? He has about as much of a chance of winning as Barack Obama does in winning a professional bowling tournament.
How many votes does a person need to not get before they call it quits? What I do know is that this question has nothing to do with global warming.
Now that I think about it, they are both insane religious cults.
Is there any evidence against global warming?
Of course there is, but as with other religions, petty details like “facts” and “evidence” are of no concern to the practitioners of the global warming religion faith. You can show as much data as you want to Al Gore and global warming’s hysterical hyperventalationists, but it will get you nowhere.
Can global warming be prevented?
Sure it can. I can also move objects with my mind. Barack Obama can bowl a perfect game, Al Gore isn’t insane, and controlling the weather is fun and easy.
Are there any natural causes of global warming?
Almost all causes of global warming are entirely natural. Volcanoes erupt and spew tons of “greenhouse gases” into the air. Volcanoes are one of the leading causes of global warming.
Cow farts are another leading cause. The process of evaporation over the oceans are also contribute to the natural causes of global warming.
Are humans the cause of global warming?
No. Whatever factor we play is nearly insignificant.
Is global warming for kids?
Kids love global warming! Whether they’re running through the sprinkler, taking a refreshing dip in the pool, or cooling off with some ice cream; there’s really no downside to global warming for kids.
Now you are armed with the facts about global warming. Go forth and club a baby seal, punch a dirty hippy, and feel secure in the knowledge that not even Al Gore’s palatial estate produces as large a carbon footprint as a volcano does.
So, turn on the lights, idle the car, and crank up the AC. It really won’t matter any more once Yellowstone or Anak Krakatau blows.
Humor-Blogs.com did not know that Yellowstone was a supervolcano, and I can’t believe I just linked to Wikipedia.
Here are a few other articles related to global warming information:
- Global Warming Solutions: The Ultimate Guide
- Global Warming Kills Nessie
- How You can Help Save the Planet
- Global Warming Armageddon
- Global Warming and Narnia
We now return you to your regularly scheduled political humor.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Al Gore, Anak Krakatau, Barack Obama, Facts About Global Warming for Kids, Facts on Global Warming for Kids, Global Warming, Global Warming Facts for Kids, Important Facts on Global Warming, Loch Ness Monster, noads, Political Humor, Ron Paul, Yellowstone
2004–2012
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No I said a lot of adults lie, not lie all the time.
You might want to take a refresher course on reading comprehension before attempting to make a witty comment.
Just a suggestion but then again I could be lying.
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I meant “lie all the time” as a figure of speech, meaning to say that they tell a lot of lies. You might want to retake the fourth grade for basic figurative language comprehension, before attempting to make witty comebacks.
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L I’m glad you are around to tell me what I meant to say because I’ve always struggled with clarity of words.
Like when I say you are an idiot it’s just a figure of speech. I really mean you are a brilliant individual.
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There seems to be a rather fundamental flaw in the reasoning ability of the ‘climate change is bad’ crowd. Before you jump down my throat, let me explain. Then jump all you want. I don’t give a shit.
As I’ve posted before, there are two basic camps, those who believe in a divine being and those who don’t.
Those who do surely understand that God controls the earth. We don’t have the ability to destroy it. Just doesn’t fit in well with prophesy about the end of days. For you Goreified Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc, get your collective heads out of your asses and follow your religions teachings.
For those who believe in evolution, man is not the ruler of this planet, nature is. Even in the worst case, some life will survive and evolve back to a more intelligent state. We would not be here today if the ice ages hadn’t happened, dinosaurs going extinct by a comet or whatever, or if other major climate changes hadn’t occurred. The earth will eventually destroy mankind as it has over 90% of all species that have ever lived on this ball of dirt and start again. Maybe with better results.
Either way, climate change was needed for HUMANS to thrive as we have, not ALL life. So God controls the universe or nature does. Take your pick and get off of your high horses and soap boxes, you bunch of egotistical, “man is more powerful than the aforementioned forces”, selfish bastards.
Holy shit, your kind makes me want to puke.
Have a nice day.
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Well it is ok for your generation cause you wont have to live with the effects of it becaus it WILL eventually kill due to massive loss of habitat, lack of water, ‘natural’ disasters or soaring heats or imense cold weather. And what is wrong with decreasing pollution whether it is causing climate change or not?
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Damo it will also be okay because my generation won’t have to live with the consequences of trying to reduce CO2 when we don’t even know how much the planet gives off naturally.
100 years from now they will laugh at us like we laugh at those who thought leeches cured diseases.
If anything Damo my generation will be looked upon with laughter and scorn at best and anger and frustration at worse for tanking the advancement of humanity.
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Sadly for you, Chris, it’s doubtable this planet will be in any fit state to support life in 100 years. Yes, our generation certainly will be looked at in scorn and hatred, but certainly not for the reasons you stated.
Hopefully, the horrendous blindless and sheep-like qualities that seems to have contaminated so many people like you will skip the next generation.
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How am I a sheep if my conclusions are based on science and not “I feel” or “I think”?
AGW does not stand up to the scientific method because there is no EMPIRICAL evidence.
The climate models of the past, when compared to the actual do not match yet supposedly we know all the variables. Hindsight is always 20/20 unless all the variables are unaccounted for.
If the models don’t match what has already happened how the hell can they be trusted as accurate indicators of future climate?
They cannot.
Hell they don’t even teach the scientific method in school anymore. Why do you think that is? Because it proves dumb ideas like climate change wrong or unprovable.
Do you think I figured this out because someone told me what to think?
Another interesting issue is temperatures. Rarely are the yearly temperatures published. They are always put out there are as means or deviations from the mean. This way they can manipulate the findings to sound worse then they are.
The mean they use by the way are the years 1961-1990, not the entire 200+ years of recordkeeping. This is actually bad math. A mean must be based on the entire data set.
(Do you think I read this somewhere? No I had to figure it out on my own.)
So why do so many people believe the hype? Because all of us didn’t think math and science were important and look at how easily we are now fooled because we are ignorant as a society when it comes to these two subjects.
(Funny how science and math are both playing a role in our current problems isn’t it?)
They use math techniques incorrectly and they avoid the scientific method when it comes to scientific theories.
The worst part is people like you buy into it without questioning it. That’s being a sheep.
There are billions of dollars on the line here and it’s being controlled by politicians. Any time that happens you need to question EVERYTHING they say.
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I’d like to add a little more about the mean and temperature of the planet…
If you go by the 1961-1990 mean (14 C) the total deviation from 1850-2008 is + 0.235655172 (about 14.22 C)
But if you take the mean of the entire dataset the total deviation is actually -0.000251572
(about 13.9998 C)
What that tells us is that in the last 250 years the temperature has remained stable over time with some wild short-term swings that have corrected themselves.
One other thing I would like to point out about fluctuations in temperature being bad for the planet. This afternoon it was 78 F. Right now it is 52 F. That is a 26 degree fluctuation in about eight hours so it is clear that the planet can handle dramatic climate change.
It happens every day, sometimes every hour.
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I just got it! This is a humor site! You’re not really an ignorant American, you’re just playing the part of one! ROTFLMAO! But really, you shouldn’t make fun of them, it’s not their fault. It’s mostly due to their in-breeding combined with the deterioration of the gene pool by the excessive use of tens of thousands of untested chemicals that are pumped into the environment on a daily basis by all of us.
You also seem to be overdoing it a bit much but reacting so heatedly to the nasty comments of those who don’t understand your humor.
It’s really not their fault.
The fact is that global warming does exist, we are killing-off entire species every day, we are over populating, destroying our water supply with chemicals, hormones, antibiotics and all sorts of other crap that we use on a daily basis. But we shouldn’t worry too much, the world will continue to exist whether we are here or not to see it.
Those who want to try to do something about it, kudos, maybe it’s not to late.. maybe it is.
Those who don’t want to do anything about it.. don’t.
Well my rant is over, I’m going to get into my 1980 Cadillac ElDorado and sit in the Drive-Thru with the engine running, the top down, my A/C blasting, scaring the elderly and steal some candy from babies.
(That’s satire)
Love y’all.
Screw you guys, I’m going home.
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Dear Ohhhh,
If man-made global warming is real, and is a supposed fact you should be able to rattle off a list of species that died. How about I make it real easy for you: just name three species that the Climate Change boogeyman has killed off.
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How about this? Since your opinion of the evidence (the empirical data) is “seemingly” overwhelming accurate among scientists, universities and their peer-reviewed scientific journals, that this whole “man-made climate change” is false, why don’t you show us a single thesus or even article of yours that has been accepted by any of the reputable journals.
Even better, I challenge you to write to sci-am and Michael Shermer and propose your interpretation of the facts.
I’ll continue to read, but won’t waste my time posting any further. It’s like watching monkeys throw feces at each other in the zoo.. it’s a good laugh, you just don’t want to get into the cage with them and get covered with shit.
heh
love ya, even if you an ignorant monkey. (That’s just my opinion, not based on any empirical evidence)
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Remember the global warming, and keep it holy.
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You do realize that the world of science is just as prone to fashions and trends as any other industry. For example, there was a theory that there are 10 dimensions. It is called string theory. Now, there was a competing theory, called super gravity, where there was an 11th dimension. The scientist that led that theory was ostracised, and he asked a student of his why the student would not go into the field of supergravity. The student said, I need to actually get work.
Ironically, The current unified theory is that there are 11 dimensions. I’m willing to bet jobs in the field of 10 dimension string theory are scarce.
If the current trend is in the field of global warming, where exactly do you think the jobs for “global warming is a doomsday cult” are? Who’s funding that?
Unfortunately, whether there are 10 dimensions or 11 makes no difference. Actually, it really doesn’t even make sense to me, but buying into a doomsday cult of hysteria is a recipe for handing over to government many of our individual freedoms. In fact, that is exactly the point. When someone tells you that you are in a dire situation, you become far more willing to do things you would not EVER be willing of in any other circumstance.
The motto of the global warming hoax is: The end is near. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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I think the problem Ohhh is that you are confused about what empirical evidence is and how the scientific method works.
Science doesn’t work in beliefs and feelings. It has to be based on facts.
The “evidence” for global warming is not empirical. It is based on models and predictions which do not take into account all the variables of climate.
According to the scientific method a theory must be falsified. If all the variables of climate are not known or fully understood, like clouds for example, then there is no way to prove or disprove a theory, thus no falsification.
According to the scientific method AGW theory is dead in the water, yet it persists, backed up by evidence that is not empirical.
Empirical evidence also shows that CO2 does not increase temperature. It nearly always follows temperature increases. This is why Al Gore does not overlay the two graphs of temp and CO2 in his presentations because then you would clearly see the flaws in his reasoning.
This is basic textbook stuff, something all of us should have learned in our first science classes in school.
Ignorance of science is a dangerous thing. It causes people like yourself to believe in opinions, thoughts, and feelings because some scientist told you so.
There is no “I think” or “I feel” in science, only facts to be proven or dis-proven.
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Since you are also playing the “not answering questions” game I thought I would play the same game too.
Can you show us any peer-reviewed studies or papers that are anti-AGW that were accepted by sci-am?
On a side note it is funny Ohhh that you volunteer to bow out of the discussion when I ask you to name the species that are killed every day by Global Warming.
If this a fact, if it is empirical evidence then you should be able to tell us. But when faced with facts and reality you resort to ad hominem attacks.
Very telling. I can only surmise that you do not like your belief system challenged.
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[...] facts on global warming satire continues to be one of the most visited posts on the site, and better yet, is a never-ending source [...]
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[...] of ecology, this is a hugely popular, high ranking page on global warming. Haha. Or maybe you just want to cut to the chase and know about how to save the planet. Well, if [...]
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[...] Oooh! Pick me! And what did I get for my efforts? In my Facts on Global Warming post, the enlightened “Cynthia” had this to say: Wow, you are a moron my friend. [...]
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[...] Oooh! Pick me! And what did I get for my efforts? In my Facts on Global Warming post, the enlightened “Cynthia” had this to say: Wow, you are a moron my friend. [...]
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Put your money where your mouth is. I am willing to park any amount up to $100,000 in an interest bearing escrow account for 20 years and you do the same. Winner takes all. If you are right, you double your money plus interest. If you’re wrong and global warming is a reality (by then it will be too late to do anything about it) then I win and take all. Here’s your chance to be publicly right AND get paid wise guy. Put up or shut up.
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Ted you assume the banks will be solvent through the next 20 years. Might be better to make a bet and hide the money under the mattress.
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Oh, Mister, “I’ve got a lot of cash so I can buy you off because I’m better than you”. Well, here’s an idea, take the cash and put it where your mouth is. Give it all to AL Gore so he can plant trees to SAVE THE PLANET. Buy your salvation from your god.
Think of it as an offering to him, not as a loss of capital, which I’m sure you more than enough of already.
Put up or shut up, as you stated so well.
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[...] for nothing. With the President Barack Obama Health Care plan you can turn lead into gold, save the planet from global warming, and get better mileage with your car (especially if you’re using Obama Air [...]
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great post! too many people dont care!
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[...] for nothing. With the President Barack Obama Health Care plan you can turn lead into gold, save the planet from global warming, and get better mileage with your car (especially if you’re using Obama Air [...]
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Nothing brings out the left-wing loons like denying global cooling…I mean, global warming…sorry, climate change.
” I am a kid and like other kids global warming is not a fun type of thing where kids play with sprinklers because soon we wont have sprinkers becuse we will have no water, due to global warming! ”
Will you moonbats at least be consistent? I thought one result of AGW was MORE rainfall, not less, because the heat makes water evaporate more, ya know.
“That is a sad to find out that some people out there still live in a world of their own. The fact that never in the world’s history global warming was as fast as it is today seems to escape your little dense minds.”
The first sentence is entirely true. Never in the world’s history? Prove that. How do you know that the supposed AGW is totally unprecedented? What temperature data are we going by? Did a caveman 10,000 years ago take accurate temperture readings and publish them so we could know that the problem has never been as bad?
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THIS IS LIKE NOT TRUE AT ALLL
FAILURE!!!
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Cynthia- There’s no need to yell, we’re not deaf here.
I love that you dropped by to continue the tradition of stupid, rude remarks from liberals. I never get tried of pointing out you left-wingers come to a blog that advertises as “humor” and “satire”, thinking it’s Fox news.
It’s not we who failed. It was your over-paid, under-motivated, union jobs for life, male student raping, public school teachers.
(Have you noticed since all those female teachers started getting caught sexually molesting under-aged boys, the women’s libers don’t mention castration anymore?)
I make mistakes too, so spelling “all” with three capital L’s is understandable. What isn’t understandable, is how you either, never learned to read the big print at the top -that clearly states what to expect, or you don’t understand the meaning of satire or humor.
Regardless, it’s not too late to educate yourself.
Merry Christmas
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I think Cynthia’s brain powered down.
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[...] Earth will be shrouded in darkness and enveloped by ash. The Global Warming Hoax will be declared officially dead as, according to Open University Vulcanologist Professor Stephen [...]
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[...] Global Warming Cult who believes in the solid-state model of the Earth believe nothing has ever changed and the earth [...]
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ok for all of you commentors that say global bull shit is man made think about this
we have had a ton of worse global warming or cooling or climate change whatever you all call it in the past billion years no cars to drive no coal burning
even the middle evil warming period was far warmer then it it now
how do i know
they could grow grapes in great britian
grapes require a meditreanian inviroment so much warmer than it is now and no cars no industrial revalution
this is all nature we are small and almost insunificant if at all