In this time, where we have been observing and remembering our fallen heroes, who have fought for freedom the world around, It’s important to remember that we have men and women fighting right now to defend freedom. In Iraq, we have our very own brothers and sisters, sons and daughters fighting to bring freedom to the Iraqi people.
I ask you, how has this improved your life. I mean, your life personally. You can’t tell me that it has. Freedom and democracy may seem a high and lofty goal. It may seem to be a noble cause, but it doesn’t really make my life better.
That’s why I think what we need is a War for Oil. Oil is tangible. I can see the benefit of invading foreign nations to steal their oil every time I fill up at the pump.
Many people are tired of this war. They don’t feel the fruits of it. They don’t see any improvement in their own lives, and why should they? Freedom is abstract. Democracy is an ideal, not a natural resource. It’s measured in foreign elections, and foreign quality of life. But what of our quality of life?
I think it’s time that we re-energized the war effort. All we need to do is shift the focus from a War on Terror, which has the goal of spreading democracy, and replace it with a War for Oil. People will feel the benefit of our efforts everytime they fill up the tank, at $0.12 per gallon.
We’ve seen the results of bringing freedom to nations before, and we know just what a failure that has been. It didn’t work in Germany, and I think we can all agree that it has been a disasterous experiment in Japan. Do you think GM, anfd Ford would be in financial straits if we hadn’t supported the democracy building in those countries? Imagine an auto industry without Honda, Nissan, and Toyota. An auto industry without Volkswagen and BMW. I don’t even know what to think of Daimler-Chrystler. The Germans may have lost on the battlefield, but they’ve won the battle of dollars.
Would you buy a car produced by some non-prosperous third world nation. Of course not, and if we had left Germany and Japan to the wolves, that’s what they would be, not competitive industrialized nations, stealing business from domestic auto makers. So while Democracy may seem noble, it is an policy wrought with idealistic hubris, and absent the realpolitik of the way the world really works.
Let’s just thik about some of the places that we could steal oil from:
- Iraq. We already have troops on the ground, and they don’t want Democracy anyway. They want the stability that can only be found by an iron-fisted dictatorship. It should be easy pickin’s to topple the young government there. We’ll just say, “Sorry about the whole elections thing. We really just need oil.”
- Iran.
- Venezuela.
- Canada.
France. I don’t know if they have oil, but invading them just seems like a good idea, and as history has proven repeatedly, easy to do.
That’s just a short list. We’ll work out where to go from there, bt it’s a start. Tell the world you support a War for Oil. Don’t jopin the military though. Support for a war that we are unwilling to fight ourelves is what being a Chickenhawk is all about.
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Trackbacked on Mudville Gazette
- Fmragtops Spews linked with Oil Opression
2004–2008
12 responses so far ↓
1 fmragtops // May 30, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Mexico has oil! And Alaska has oil! Those damn carribou are hording the oil in Alaska. We should kill all the carribou, and free the oppressed oil from beneath the iron hoof of the carribou.
2 von // May 30, 2006 at 1:37 pm
What about Saudi Arabia? The lefterds are always harping about why we aren’t invading them anyways…
3 fmragtops // May 30, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Hey, Saudi Arabia has lots of oil being oppressed by the islamofascists. we need to free that oil from the brutal rule of the Saudi Monarchy.
4 Sssteve // May 30, 2006 at 10:40 pm
I think it is time for me to join the “my war for oil” blogroll!! Especially with my cousin in the “shit” as they call it! Just so her going over there is for a reason now! Give me that cheap oil now!!!
5 richj // May 31, 2006 at 11:51 am
Let’s go. My big ass SUV is gettin thirsty and I need to squish more hippies.
6 Mike // May 31, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Damn those carribou. They must die. We must have the oil. And we will use that oil to fuel our planes and tanks as we jump over to take down Russia. Those commies don’t need the oil. They don’t drive big SUV’s like we do. They horde it and sell it for a profit. What fun is that? What fun is having oil if you’re not going to use it to conquer smaller countries and take their oil?
7 fmragtops // May 31, 2006 at 4:09 pm
Very good point Mike. If you can’t use your oil for constructive purposes, like stealing oil from other countries, then that oil is being oppressed, and must be saved by the US!
8 FIAR // May 31, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Exactly. We must use the pillaged oil to plunder more oil. I like the way you think, Mike. Perhaps you could be Undersecratary of the Department of Stealing Oil from Other Countries.
9 fmragtops // May 31, 2006 at 6:57 pm
I like the way he thinks too. If you want him for your second, you have my support.
10 Fmragtops Spews // May 31, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Oil Oppression…
For centuries maniacal dictators, hippies, and wild animals have led an oppressive movement that has injured the world.
……
11 The Cranky Insomniac // Jun 1, 2006 at 12:04 am
I’m all for invading France, just cuz, but can we give it back to the French after we win? This way we don’t have to spend any money on them.
Plus, as an added bonus,it’d be really embarrasing for them when we roll through and then say, “Hey, we don’t want your lameass country, we just want you to keep your smugnoxious pieholes shut.”
By the way, I’m really trying to spread the word smugnoxious around the blogosphere, so feel free to help if you think it’s worthy. (I usually put a superscript TM after it.) I’ve used it 4 or 5 times but it hasn’t gotten any traction yet. I think it’s the perfect word to describe liberals and Europeans.
12 AnnaB // Jun 1, 2006 at 8:00 am
You ask how our lives have improved due to the War on Terror? I can honestly feel safer knowing our troops are there making democracy happen in the Middle East. In turn, this makes me feel more stable here at home. I also appreciate our government taking a pro-active approach instead of reactive. I do not want another attack on innocent Americans in our country and thanks to our soldiers who are there in Iraq that seems less likely.
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