It’s important to take a step back and not take things so seriously from time to time. That’s why we have this weekly flame war parody. Instead of debating politics, we focus on some of the more trivial, but just as deeply held beliefs we all have.
This week is probably one of our most controversial topics ever, so it would be perfectly normal to have a very strong opinion.
Which is the correct toilet paper technique: Drape it over the front, or over the back?
Discuss.
Humor-Blogs.com doesn’t even use a toilet paper dispenser.
2004–2009
12 responses so far ↓
1
David
// May 4, 2008 at 10:02 am
Absolutely over the front. That allows it to roll clockwise in the holder and we all know that things in bathrooms are destined to go clockwise in North America.
Unfortunately too many idiots allow their crazed cats and uncontrolled toddlers to scroll the roll and screw the whole thing up for the rest of us intelligent people.
2
RT
// May 4, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Front.
3
Flowers Bloom
// May 4, 2008 at 7:33 pm
How unsurprising to find that a bunch of extreme right wing fascists think that the toilet paper should drape over the front. You’re always in favor of things going to the front, as long as it isn’t you on the front.
Backside draping shows solidarity for peaceful, diplomatic solutions.
4
Les James
// May 4, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Front. Back. Who cares, as long as does the job without your fingers tearing through!
5
Nightcrawler
// May 4, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Toilet paper? Next I suppose y’all be saying you have them fancy indoor privys… the one’s that have runnin’ water hooked up to em and such… who’d have thunk it?
6
Chris C.
// May 4, 2008 at 10:36 pm
“Backside draping shows solidarity for peaceful, diplomatic solutions.”
Whatever Flowers. They say people who tuck their thumb into their fist is a sign of being a wimp. The same can be said for backside draping.
Jimmy Carter is a backside draper by the way which proves the point very nicely.
7
Angie
// May 4, 2008 at 10:55 pm
This is my favorite, and DH and I went around and around about this for-EVER. I say it belongs over the back and he says over the front. He just hadn’t realized yet that, as a woman, I am always right. In any case, it nearly led to Chernobyl II (or at least a few rolls thrown at the backs of a few heads). We were ultimately forced by the hand of fate into a solution catering to *neither* of our anal-retentive (no pun intended) tendencies.
After our toddler daughter somehow managed to r-i-i-i-p the TP holder off the wall and hid it so well that mommy and daddy NEVER found it, I was too irked at being outsmarted by a 2-year-old clapping and laughing gleefully at winning her “game,” (and face it, just too cheap) to go buy another one and stuck a wicker basket that holds like 20 rolls next to the toilet. It’s a win-win situation.
Proper TP technique in our house: Put it in the basket or on the back of the tank.
Do NOT put it on the floor - the cat thinks it’s a toy and bats it around the house, and if it happens to be the last roll in the basket, you sure don’t want to be chasing a cat for a roll of TP when you’re locked and loaded.
Do NOT put it on the sink - somebody’s inevitably going to soak it (probably above-said toddler daughter, who has discovered the joys of flinging wet TP chunks and making them stick to the semi-gloss).
AND NO MATTER WHAT: Do not leave it ANYWHERE with half a fricking sheet on the tube or you might find yourself wiping with that chunk of cardboard next time you need to #2!
8
Alex L.
// May 5, 2008 at 1:03 am
Front ways always. You hang that bad boy backwards and your just inviting communists into your house. Before you know it Red Bill, your dirty commie neighbour, will be cutting wild and wiping his bot bot on your best towels. Front ways people, front ways, it shows your well mannered, economically conservative, and best yet NOT A FRIGGING DOUCHE BAG… I think I made my point.
9
Wyatt Earp
// May 5, 2008 at 9:30 am
Neither. Wait for a really sloppy dump, then stick an entire roll up your arse and turn that counter-clockwise to catch all the dingleberries.
10
RT
// May 5, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I think Wyatt has FINALLY grossed me out.
Nice.
Flowers Bloom surprised me, though. I thought hippies didn’t use toilet paper, thus the stench.
11
Flowers Bloom
// May 5, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I never said anything about using it. That would be wrong. Trees are people too, fascist.
12
RT
// May 7, 2008 at 6:20 pm
YAY! I’m a fascist. That means I can oppress you and force you to wear polyester.
Leave a Comment or the Terrorists Win!
If you're wondering how to get an icon next to your name, go to gravatar.com and sign up for a free account.
Remember, only terrorist sympathizers don't have a gravatar.