Bacon Vs. Tofu Flame War Parody #28
We all know that Bacon® is better than tofu. There is no need to debate this issue. It’s clear cut. There really is no comparison.
However, this has somehow managed to be a popular argument on Sqidoo.
I find it appalling that anyone would be on the side of tofu. Considering the fact that tofu turns you into a terrorist hugging, effeminate, wienie, I would like to see someone justify even the mere existence of tofu.
I am not at all optimistic that anyone will rise to the challenge this week. Perhaps there is someone from who will champion the cause of tofu, but I expect that it is unlikely. The victory in favor of Bacon® is too clear cut. But that is this week’s topic:
Justify the existence of tofu.
Discuss
Category: Flame War Parody Tags: Bacon, Flame War Parody, Humor, Tofu
2004–2012
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Justifying tofu would be a violation of the laws of nature.
YOOHOO! Flowers Bloom, where are you?
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You see, there are millions of young, nerdly/geeky guys out there who ain’t getting any. However, if they consume tofu, they get enough soy to get manboobs (moobs) from the estrogen raising qualities of the soy.
Nerdly/geeky guys everywhere will be able to cop a feel; otherwise, they will just have to fill up balloons with water to know what boobs feel like.
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Clearly bacon. How the hell do you make a T-L-T? If I wanted something with the consistency of tuna fish I would just make that.
God I can’t wait for the hippie movement to die out.
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You can’t make a tofu bikini.
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Like the new edit feature. Did you change to it for idiots like me?
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Tofu makes a nourishing, low cost, high protein fodder for pigs, which can then be rendered into
Bacon® for the rest of us.
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Did I also mention free-range Tofu fed hippies also make good pig fodder? There is probably a Disney song out there called the ‘Circle of Bacon’, where crap like Tofu has a place in the chain somewhere.
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When you shove your fist into a tub of tofu, it makes a farting sound. It’s got that going for it, so that’s kinda cool.
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You can do the same thing with a fat girl Rich. Are fat girls better then bacon?
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Les, re:editing. I think that’s just part of the upgraded version of something that was already there. It’s just more obvious with the little pictures.
Now, as for feeding tofu to pigs. Pigs are one of the most magically delicious of all creatures, and I will not have them turning into effeminate weenies by feeding them tofu.
I am offended by the suggestion.
Unless, of course we feed the effeminate weenies to the pigs to make a protein packed Superbacon™. That might work. I’ll get my best scienticians on it right away.
Les, you can make a tofu bikini, but it would not be tasty and sexy like a bacon bikini.
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Rich, Chris has you beat.
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Chris- I am just supplying a potential justification for the existence of tofu. I have no experience fisting fat girls, so I can not say whch one is better.
Since you seem to have some experience in this regard, I will defer to your opinion on the matter.
Fat girl fister.
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You can do the same thing with a fat girl Rich. Are fat girls better then bacon?
Funniest line . . . EVER!
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By fooling retards into eating tofu, we lower bacon prices for the rest of us.
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FIAR—–”Rich, Chris has you beat.”
RichJ—-”I have no experience fisting fat girls, so I can not say whch one is better.”
And Rich pulls back into the lead!
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Fat girls are much better than bacon. Not sure about the fisting…ewwwwww!
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[...] Bacon vs Tofu vs Fat Girls Posted on June 23, 2008 by Rich You be the judge. [...]
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Pigs are fed a lot worse things. What do they say?
Garbage in, bacon out.
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No tofu, no hippies, and then who are you going to hate… honestly somethings just need to be, its the circle of life, beans, tofu, hippies, kill hippies… Tofu just has to be, as do hippies… which seems to me now to be quite a stupid thing to say here.
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Maybe if we feed all the fat girls of the world to the pigs we wouldn’t have to deal with the issue if fat girls were better than bacon cause essentially they would become the bacon…also the bacon would become greasier which I personally like better…
http://funniestbloginamerica.blogspot.com/
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You assholes have this ranking #4 on Google for fat girl fist. That makes you worse than Hitler.
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[...] rejuvenates like Bacon®. That goes without saying. But what about people that make their Bacon® in the [...]