It’s that time of the week again where we argue over something inconceivably stupid, which is really no different than any other day of the week on this political humor site. In fact, I’m at a loss to actually explain a valid differentiation from all the other days of the week.
Either way, our mission of this flame war parody is to defend an incomprehensibly strong position on one side or the other. Just like the election, there are only two sides, unless you plan to throw away your vote, whatever that means.
This week’s topic:
Babies: Something people are punished with, or the other white meat?
Discuss.
2004–2008
18 responses so far ↓
1
RT
// Oct 5, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Hmmm….the way they fatten up babies with that soy formula these days…they are little vegans. What’s up with that? Isn’t that punishment? Forcing a bunch of baby vegans on us with their hippie views.
I vote punishment, since I really can’t eat soy.
2
Angie
// Oct 5, 2008 at 7:11 pm
The other white meat. They’re so yummy looking, you just wanna gobble them up.
I love babies. I could never consider them a punishment, even if they were a “mistake.” Three of my four children were the result of an OOPS, but I’d never trade any of them for anything, any my ticking time bomb uterus is screaming for more.
What political party do I fit into, since I think the woman’s place is in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant and cooking a meal for her man????
Hello?? Is anybody out there?
3
Skul
// Oct 5, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Mmmmm, baby-back ribs!
4
JumpOut
// Oct 5, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Babies are punishment for the entire world! Every time a baby hippie is born, the Virgin Mary weeps.
5
Chris C
// Oct 5, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I don’t know, babies have a lot of trans fat.
6
Fiar
// Oct 5, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I don’t know, babies have a lot of trans fat.
Wrong dumbass. Trans fat is when they take vegetable oil and inject hydrogen into it to make it more like animal fat. Think Crisco. Babies are animal fat, and thus, completely healthy.
JO, how do baby hippies get born, what with a “woman’s choice” and all?
7
Les James
// Oct 5, 2008 at 8:14 pm
RT -While I’ve never actually seen a person being punished with a baby, I suspect that if you hold one by the ankles and give it good swing…
Angie - The every real man’s dream party?
JumpOut- And the baby Obama weeps for joy.
BTW the other white meat is pork. The favorite dish of politicians. Funny you can get bacon from that.
8
Eileen
// Oct 5, 2008 at 8:52 pm
It is not throwing away a vote, when not voting major party.
It is this type of thinking that is a big part of the problem.
Vote the major parties out of power, they have become way too corrupt.
Especially vote anyone out of power who voted yes on the bail out bill (the so called “improvements” made it much much worse).
9
Les James
// Oct 5, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Hey Fiar, were you peeking at my post for next Tuesday? It’s sitting there in Pending Review and it contains very similar material. Or is it true that we’re the same person?
Play Twilight Zone theme
10
RT
// Oct 5, 2008 at 10:12 pm
There is no FIAR! He’s everyone else!
Who slipped Eileen the drugs? She’s way off-topic.
11
Alex L.
// Oct 6, 2008 at 12:53 am
Well its ‘punished with of course’, human is red meat you fools! Sweet Thor god of thunder you people are silly. Babies are the republicans way of reminding you sex is wrong.
12
Angie
// Oct 6, 2008 at 1:33 am
Les: You better wake up, cuz you really ARE dreaming!
Since I am the only female in America who subscribes to this line of thought, I’d be dangling out there solo, and that just doesn’t sound like much of a Party. Then again… Me and a bunch of guys. What could possibly go wrong?
JO: Every time a liberal opens their mouth and moves their lips, a kitten dies. And hippie babies aren’t born, they’re either plucked from the mushroom patch growing atop a manure pile or scraped off the fence post after two buzzards bump assholes in mid-air.
Alex: If it’s so wrong, why’d God install the plumbing?
TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK.
13
JumpOut
// Oct 6, 2008 at 2:45 am
I guess Angie answered your question, FIAR. It’s a sound theory.
14
David
// Oct 6, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I’m having trouble rationalizing the “other white meat” theory because that couldn’t apply to the annoying little bastards if they were from Africa, China or Mexico.
This simply reinforces the fact that they are punishment for having too much fun in bed - this applies to abstinence only education states like Alaska.
There is simply no rational explanation for where hippie babies orginate.
15
Chris C
// Oct 6, 2008 at 3:32 pm
“There is simply no rational explanation for where hippie babies orginate.”
I have a theory that the very things hippies protest against like pollution or overpopulation is the machinations behind their birth. Very 50’s scifi movie-ish I know.
16
JumpOut
// Oct 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm
While we may not agree on where we think baby hippies come from, I think we can all agree that hippie babies should be killed. Since this is a flame war parody, it’s not a good thing for us to agree; therefore, if you agree with me, bite my sweaty ball sack.
17
Alex L.
// Oct 7, 2008 at 12:31 am
@angie- Alex: If it’s so wrong, why’d God install the plumbing?
For children. So women have something to do when they arent washing the dishes… oh woah who threw that shoe at me
18 The Real Differences Between Democrats and Republicans Part 2 | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Oct 7, 2008 at 11:31 am
[...] Flame War Parody #39 Babies [...]
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