Flame War Parody #23
This week, we get a bit more philosophical for our flame war parody. Although we will take a path of enlightenment, it’s still understandable if you have absurdly strong opinions.
It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Isn’t there some kind of eye-drop that will clear that up?
Discuss.
Humor-Blogs.com is in the ass of the beholder.
Image Credit: Eye! by StaR DusT
Category: Flame War Parody Tags: Beauty, Flame War Parody, Philosophy
2004–2012
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This week’s question is clearly designed to cause titillation and unduly burden the chaste among us, with impure thoughts.
On this, Lord’s Day Of Rest, ought not we brethren, instead turn that eye inward and seek within ourselves the beauty the should reside in each and everyone of us? Or is your soul so black, so repulsive, that you must seek truth and beauty in others?
Your lustful, wandering eyes and hands will ensure an eternity of suffering.
Repent! Repent, your wicked ways and bring to an end this wonton seeking of the pleasures of the flesh!
Can I get an Amen?
Donations to this ministry can be sent c/0 the Right Rev. Les at this site’s address.
Thank you and may you be blessed by this sermon.
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If it looks like a turd, smells like a turd, it must be a turd.
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Can it be picked up by the clean end, Angie?
I vote for battery acid.
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Skul: Battery acid was the first thing that popped into my mind, too, but my “big brass balls” are in dire need of polishing so I didn’t throw that comment out there today. My loss.
Say, can you tell me which end is the clean one? As a mom of 6 spanning the last 16+ years and the youngest still in diapers, I have yet to see anything resembling the clean end of a turd, but that just reinforces my advocacy for flushing.
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The clean end is shinier.
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I think that gasoline makes a wonder – if expensive- eye drop! Or, since beauty is IN the eye of the beholder, one can simply take a grapefruit spoon (they look like they’re broken spoons, if you’ve never seen them) and dig out the eye. Deep fry a few of those in some delicious batter (about 2-3 minutes on 350 degrees ought to do it), pop a few of those in your wife’s mouth and Voila! You’re married to Jessica Alba (or Beal, if you prefer).
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That was supposed to say “wonderful”… I’m at work and I keep getting distracted… lmao
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Sorrow and shame be upon thee. I can see that there is much work to be done in this den of transgression. For I witness the demons that lurk in the murky corners of your misbegotten souls.
Friar Fiar, Brother Chris, pray with me for these heathens. Lest it all be too late and the shadow of Him Who’s Middle Name Must Not Be Spoken blanket the face of all that is still good in the land.
I beseech thee! If not for your own sake, do it for the children!
Damn it! The f*%king offering plate is still empty!
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I must admit, I’ve never inspected a turd to see which end is shiner. I also must admit, I don’t plan to start any time soon.
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I have an astigmatism. That kind of messes up my ability to behold anything, and there isn’t a drop of anything that can help it.
Plus, I’m not so sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I just think there is evidence of a lot of people wearing beer goggles.
I need to start hanging out with drunk guys again. The sober ones suck.
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So it’s actually beer that is in the eye of the beholder.
That doesn’t sound right.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Now that sounds better.
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Whoever said beauty is in the eye of the beholder must have been an ugly person.
Amen!
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Chris C. has a point… amazingly, if beauty is in the eye of the beholder where is ugliness, and the clitoris… is that in the eyes to.
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Usually the beauty is beholded after a few drops of alcohol. The only thing that can clear that up is a rigorous shagging, a good night’s sleep, and the clear light of day.
And then, a quick and silent exit out the door.
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You wait until morning to leave?
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Isn’t there some kind of eye-drop that will clear that up?
Yeah, it’s called “semen.”