I had one of those “no weekend” weekends wherein I tore apart an exterior wall and attempted to put it back together again. Without any help. Did I mention that I’m not too good at careful destruction, and even worse at construction. (I excel at wanton destruction).
It was exhausting work, but my wall is now there, protecting the insides from the rain. This got me thinking, nothing rejuvenates like Bacon®. That goes without saying. But what about people that make their Bacon® in the microwave?
Is Microwave Bacon® even really Bacon®, or is it just sacrilege?
Discuss.
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2004–2008
12 responses so far ↓
1
RT
// Jul 13, 2008 at 10:50 pm
The only real bacon is made in a good old fashioned American cast iron skillet, fried to a greasy crisp.
Microwave bacon is all limp. Limp bacon = bad!
2
Chris C.
// Jul 14, 2008 at 12:33 am
Every time someone says the word bacon I think of that old commercial where the dog keeps yelling “Its Bacon!”
3
Alex L.
// Jul 14, 2008 at 2:01 am
Microwave bacon is Sacrilicious…
I dont know really I just really wanted to say Sacrilicious, because it reminds me when the simpsons were funny.
4
SinisterDan
// Jul 14, 2008 at 7:35 am
Bacon also cooks up well in a Canadian cast iron skillet too, you imperialist monster.
But bacon cooks best on a sheet pan in the oven, plus you can make about 11 pounds of it all at once.
Anyway, I’m off to see my cardiologist.
5
Les James
// Jul 14, 2008 at 9:03 am
Next time you decide to do major domicilic renovational/reconstructivation surgery, (and yes, they are words because I said so) set up a web cam. It would be a lot more fun to comment on than some theoretical topic.
6
Fiar
// Jul 14, 2008 at 9:04 am
Sinister Dan, I’d be wary of seeing that cardiologist. You know what they say, a cardiologist a day keeps the Bacon® away.
BTW, You spelled Monger wrong.
7
Fiar
// Jul 14, 2008 at 9:06 am
Les, no good unless I did some serious editing. Who wants to watch a video of me looking at something for several hours trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing?
8
insolublog
// Jul 14, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Bacon can be quite crispy and delicious from the Microwave. The true sacrilege comes from cheerfully eschewing the Bacon qualities of something with a completely alien, un-Bacon like chemical composition, esp. if you cook it in a microwave.
9
Fiar
// Jul 14, 2008 at 3:58 pm
NOOOOOOO!
I think that may even be worse than the Bacon wrapped tofu that RT sent me the link to.
Tofu Bacon? That’s all the proof I need that there is no god.
And I still have not seen a good justification for the existence of tofu.
I even find it hard to wrap my head around the Bacon Salt (RT again). It sounds good, until you notice that “Bacon Salt is a zero calorie, zero fat, vegetarian and kosher seasoning salt that tastes just like real bacon.”
Vegetarian Bacon Salt?!!! This is a sign of the end times.
10
Fiar
// Jul 14, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Before RT faces any attacks, she also sent me a link for Chocolate covered Bacon.
11
RT
// Jul 14, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Er….that’s Mongress.
Oh, and Canadian bacon sucks!
12
Insolublog
// Jul 14, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Take heart, FIAR.
I have noticed a ‘key ingredient’ to the sub-standard faux Bacon posers. It is called ‘liquid smoke’. How do we know this is not the concentrated essence of real Bacon, used to placate the palates of infidels, who are trying to avoid the guilt of consuming real American (not Canadian) Bacon? How do they know they are not adding an inferior but genuine source of Bacon purity and piety to their starches weeds and pasty legumes?
Has anyone verified the ’smoke’ formula?
How do we know the false idol does stand on the shoulders of the real thing?
Should liquid smoke be used to enhance the quality of the multicultural culinary menu at Guantanamo bay?
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