By Flowers Bloom
Hi, I’m Flowers Bloom. I don’t understand why people want to fight with each other all the time. If we would all just give each other flowers, we could all be so much happier. Flowers are pretty, and they smell nice. That’s what we need, more flowers, and hugs. If we all just gave flowers and hugs, we wouldn’t have to fight in wars. “Hugs, not guns.” That’s what I always say.
Don’t you think that Osama bin Laden would want to be nice to us if we just had responded to him by giving him flowers and hugs? He would think we are so nice, and he would probably apologize for being mean to us.
We also shouldn’t use inflammatory words like “terrorist” and “attacked.” President Bush says that “terrorists attacked” us on September 11th. How would you feel if the President called you a terrorist, and said that you attacked his country? I would feel angry and upset if that happened.
Now what if the President had said, “I understand that you don’t feel good about how America pushes its way of life on everyone. Here are some flowers, and a hug. I’m sorry. We should try harder to get along.”
That’s not what happened though. President Bush continued the cycle of violence by invading other countries. War only makes people dead, but hugs make people feel good. You see how easy that is to figure out?
What about the golden rule? Doesn’t anyone remember that? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do Americans want people from other countries invading them and getting rid of the American government? I don’t. I doubt other Americans do either. So why are we doing that to the people of other countries. We should be nice to them instead, and they will be nice to us in return.
We should also have more bunnies. Bunnies are cute and soft and cuddly. Even a Mr. Tough Guy type gets all like, “Oh look at the cute little bunny. Fuzzy, soft wittle bunny wabbit. You so cute.” So how angry could Zarqawi or bin Laden be if we gave them bunnies? We could all just live in peace and harmony if we had more flowers, hugs and bunnies… And puppies and kittens too. They’re good for making people feel good too.
Let’s all give flowers, hugs, bunnies, kittens, and puppies, so we can have happiness and world peace. Think about it. You can’t hug your children with nuclear arms.
Related: Saving the World with Puppies and Kittens
Promoting Free Speech
Bloodthirsty Babykillers Slander Patriotic Americans
Global Warming and Narnia
How You Can Help Save the Planet

6 responses so far ↓
1
RT - Chief Mongress
// Apr 1, 2007 at 1:32 am
Wow. You know what? I never thought of things that way before. Hugs do feel good. It is nice to be loved. Maybe if we did all love each other more there would be no more hate. I mean, terrorists are moms and dads, too. They’re also someone’s children. Humans that bleed just like me and you. Wow. I just never really thought of things that way. Thanks.
2
Wild Bill
// Apr 1, 2007 at 2:38 am
This really makes sense and the colors have had a calming effect on my once war mongering heart.
(also $600,000 might have had something to do with it.)
3
KC
// Apr 1, 2007 at 4:56 am
As if you needed proof that this blog was genius, this layout is all the proof I need.
FIAR, I bow down to your bloggery genius.
4
Skul
// Apr 1, 2007 at 7:25 am
I’ve been trying to figure out if FIAR is pulling and April Fools joke. Probably not.
5
Wonder Woman
// Apr 1, 2007 at 11:55 am
Please stop. PLEASE STOP. You’re scaring me.
I need to go beat someone up now…
6 Saving the World with Puppies and Kittens — Radioactive Liberty // Aug 2, 2007 at 10:39 pm
[...] perhaps pondering, “what has happened to Radioactive Liberty?” Hopefully you have read Flowers and Hugs as well, and if you have not, please do so in a prompt fashion. I am Flowers Bloom, and it would [...]
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