By Flowers Bloom
Recently, I was lurking IMAO in order to make sure that their plans for launching nuclear strikes don’t involve anything more local than the moon. I’m quite certain that the insidious mind of Frank J has some half-witted and half-baked plan to do something evil.
While I was there I discovered this little fact about Fred Thompson, whom it seems, has a loyal fan base amongst the Republifascist contingent.
Fred Thompson gets three scoops of raisins in every box of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran.
While this may seem insignificant and innocuous on it’s surface, it is clear that it is a portent of the malignant machinations to come if, Gaia forbid, Fred Thompson were ever to make it to the White House.
I’m sure that the Neo-Nazi Nincompoops of the Far Right won’t follow the logic, so I shall explain in full detail. I shall attempt to use small words, diverging from my natural tendency towards my voluminous vocabulary, for the benefit of the Red-Staters, Rednecks, and Republicrooks.
Fred Thompson is getting preferential treatment - That means special favors - From the Kellogg’s company. That’s bad enough on it’s own, but that merely scratches the surface. Kellogg’s is part of a company called KBR. KBR used to be called Kellogg Brown and Root.
That’s not all. KBR is Halliburton - Yes, that Halliburton. The same company that profits from our barely literate bloodthirsty babykillers murdering brides and bridesmaids at weddings in Iraq, is giving special favors to Fred Thompson.
Halliburton!
This can only lead me to one ominous conclusion. Allow me to show you the “math.” Fred Thompson = Halliburton = Dick Cheney = Bush = Hitler. We can simplifiy this equation, again, for the benefit of the Republitards out there - since all values are equal → Fred Thompson = Hitler.
I think you Chicken-Cons might want to re-evaluate your support for Fred Thompson. Then again - Jack-Booted Fascists that you are - I think perhaps it’s a perfect fit.
Humor-Blogs.com steals the raisins from Raisin Bran to give them to Fred Thompson. If that bothers you as much as it bothers me, then you should Subscribe to Radioactive Liberty.
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2004–2008
21 responses so far ↓
1 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 22, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Michael Moore’s “non-profit” has stock in Halliburton. Hmmmm….
2 Wild Bill // Aug 22, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Because the evil genius KKKarl Rovingloonitic set Michael Moore up as part of his plan to super heat the earth with sheep farts.
3 Leo Pusateri // Aug 22, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Gads– you fever swamp folks are pieces of work.
Now Fred Th0mpson is Hitler?
First of all, you guys lose on the basis of Godwin’s law alone.
Second of all, your hyperbole is really getting old.
Get a new meme, will you?
4 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 22, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Close reading is such an underused skill.
5 Leo Pusateri // Aug 22, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Yeah, I know that this is a piece of what is supposed “sarc”.
But given the left side of the aisle’s proclivities to proclaim anyone that doesn’t agree with them “Hitler” or associating them with Nazis, is it that big of a stretch that equating Fred Thompson with Hitler is really what you’re thinking?
6 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 22, 2007 at 10:02 pm
OMGoodness! A lack of close reading and a lack of sense.
7 BigMike // Aug 22, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Ginormous Michael Moore gives off Moore BTU’s than a methhead’s bunson burner! What do you want to bet his carbon foot print looks like?
8 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 22, 2007 at 10:34 pm
It looks like a crater.
9 jchild314 // Aug 23, 2007 at 8:56 am
Your one SICK puppy Flowers……get a life….
10 richj // Aug 23, 2007 at 12:26 pm
The Fred has my vote now for sure. Thanks FB for helping me make my choice for ‘08. Maybe Fred can get me a job at Halliburton.
11 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 23, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I hear Michael Moore can get ya some stocks in Halliburton. ;P
12 Chris C // Aug 23, 2007 at 11:49 pm
is this some sort of new thing to replace Chuck Norris jokes?
Fred Thompson is so entitled he has three scoops of raisins.
He is so entitled he started the FIRST Reich.
And then called it Reich 2.0 thus superceding Hitler in essance.
13 Chris C // Aug 23, 2007 at 11:54 pm
and why do they call it a footprint and not a handprint?
I do a hell a lot more in the course of a day with my hands then my feel. If I didn’t have a car that would be a different story.
I think they use footprint because it implies walking around. It is like you have this big bag of CO2 and as you walk you reach in and fling it around like fairy dust infecting the enviroment and sending humanity to its impending doom.
And they haven’t even factored farting into that scenario.
14 RT - Chief Mongress // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:02 am
Did you know? If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!
15 richj // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:50 am
All right! Only 6 years, eight months, 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 57 seconds to go until I too can single-handedly destroy a city. Rock on!
16 Fiar // Aug 25, 2007 at 7:25 pm
RT Take it easy, Leo makes a good point. It can be hard to parody the moonbats, because it’s so likely that any attempt to do so is truth rather than exaggeration.
Chris Reich 2.0 is like so 2001. I think were more like Reich 4.0 by now.
Dick What happens in 6 years, etc?
Wild Bill You make a good point. I think we should all consider that possibility.
Big Mike Was Frank J referring to Michael Moore when he wrote Nuke the Moon? Based on the comments here, I think he might have been.
jchild Yes, Flowers Bloom is an idiot.
17 Skul // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:05 am
FB cracks me up.
18 Fiar // Aug 27, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I’m glad to hear it, Skul. That’s why I let her post here.
19 Rick // Sep 7, 2007 at 3:24 pm
MM held stock in Halliburton in order to gain access to company meetings. He was denied unless he could prove investment in the company. Any profit he gained was given to charity.
He does however crank out a mean fart. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
20 Debbie // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Fred Thompson looks like the bastard child of Joe Cocker and female Muppet Janice.
His creepy ass will never be President.
21 mike // Sep 11, 2007 at 6:54 pm
another left wing weasel who claims “sARCASM- HUMOR” SO THAT THE SCUMBAG CAN PUT OUT A HEADLINE READING “THOMPSON IS HITLER” KNOWING full well, most people won’t read the aricle…
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